I was on the phone with my mom, walking down the bustling streets of New York City. Busy professionals in suits rushed to their next appointments as taxi cabs zoomed by. Ambulance sirens blared. Construction workers tore up the asphalt with jackhammers. The usual frenzy of city life.
I was headed home from class at NYU Stern School of Business when I noticed someone familiar out of the corner of my eye.
“Is that Ramit Sethi?”
Yes.
That Ramit.
You may know him as the host of the Netflix show How To Get Rich, a New York Times bestselling author, or as a finance expert who shares money tips with over 1,000,000 people through his newsletter and social media platform.
Or maybe you've never heard of Ramit. But imagine if you spotted someone you greatly admire—like Brené Brown, Sara Blakely, Oprah Winfrey, or Beyoncé—walking down the street. Someone who has created books, art, music, products, or a business that you love. Someone who has made a significant impact on your life, even though you've never met. And then, suddenly, that person appears right in front of your eyes! That's what this moment felt like for me.
I had discovered Ramit’s blog a few years ago and read his book cover to cover. I’d also invested in his course on how to make extra money on the side.
As a business school student, I was at a pivotal point in my life and searching for what was next. While my classmates met with campus recruiters to explore traditional jobs, I craved something different.
I didn’t want a regular 9 to 5 job where I’d go to a corporate office to work for an investment bank, consulting firm, or Fortune 500 company. I wanted to do something with my life that felt deeply meaningful. I just didn’t know what that was yet.
When I discovered Ramit’s work and saw him running a business and making a difference in people’s lives, it sparked the idea that maybe, in my own way, I could do the same.
I was a huge fan of Ramit’s writing. He, on the other hand, had no idea that I existed. Though I was a complete stranger, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to connect with him.
Ramit ushered his parents into a black town car and turned away, presumably to head back inside his apartment building. I had a window of about five seconds to introduce myself before he would disappear into the building. This was my shot—and I might never have another.
Even though I’m an introvert, something in my gut told me, “Don’t let this moment slip away.” I said, “Mom, I’ve gotta go!” and abruptly hung up the phone.
I waited a moment until his mom and dad had been whisked away by their driver. Then I stepped forward and (with as much confidence as I could muster) said, “Hi, are you Ramit?”
“Yes!” he said. I introduced myself as a reader and thanked him for his work. He was gracious and polite. As we spoke, he mentioned his family had just come back from a cruise, along with his sisters.
“Oh, yeah! I remember you have two sisters,” I replied. “In your book, you talk about how they had to save up for Indian weddings on both coasts.” He laughed, surprised that I’d remembered such a specific detail.
Ramit had places to be, so our first conversation was a quick one. Before he jetted off, he told me he was hosting a local meetup for his readers and encouraged me to attend the next one. I started going to these events regularly, connecting with like-minded people and getting to know Ramit personally. Gradually, we became friends.
Then one day, he reached out to me.
Hey Selena,
We're re-doing my website and I remember how good your media intuition was when you talked about my About page being terrible (which it is). I was really impressed how you re-wrote that email of mine to be friendlier/more descriptive.
Attached is a new version of my home page. What do you think about it? We're trying to go for a friendlier approach that explains who I am, why the reader should care, etc, instead of just dumping them into the latest post.
Curious what you think if you can spare a few minutes. But if not, no worries!
Thx,
Ramit
I was sitting in my business school’s entrepreneurship class when I received that email and I responded right away:
Hey Ramit,
I'd love to take a look and give you some feedback. I have class until 9pm, so I'll email you sometime later in the evening if that's not too late. Talk soon!
Warmly,
Selena
This was an opportunity I was not going to waste!
After responding to Ramit’s email, I immediately packed up my belongings, darted out of the classroom, and began enlisting my friends to help. I put together a five person focus group and we gathered to analyze Ramit's website mockup—from page layout to image choice to messaging.
By midnight, just as I promised, I sent Ramit multiple pages of detailed feedback along with an email, saying:
Hey Ramit,
Here are some thoughts on your two homepage designs.
Hope this is helpful, and feel free to send me an updated version later if you'd like.
Selena
He responded:
Wow … this is amazing. I'm going to rewrite a version based on this and test it. You should consider being a professional copywriter. Some really great gems in here. Thank you!
Ramit
Ramit asked for a few minutes of my time. Instead, I gave him five hours, along with valuable feedback from a focus group of test-users.
I chose to lead with generosity and go above and beyond for Ramit, not just one time, but numerous times over the years.
By showing up in this way, I built a Rich Relationship with Ramit that has enhanced both of our lives and careers.
Over the years, we’ve helped each other to grow in numerous ways.
I became one of Ramit’s star students and he showcased my success story on his website. My story inspired more people to work with him, leading to more sales for his business. (It was also beneficial for me. Being spotlighted on his site was great visibility for me and my work.)
He encouraged me to start my own business, taught me how to do market research, and helped me avoid costly mistakes.
I used my publicity skills to help him get media coverage, including being featured in O: the Oprah Magazine and CNBC.
He pushed me out of my comfort zone and nudged me to do things I wouldn’t normally have done—including writing a guest-post for his site. When he promoted my article to his newsletter, hundreds of thousands of people read it—and over one thousand people signed up to join my email list.
In all the ways I just mentioned (and more) Ramit and I have poured riches into each other's businesses and lives.
However, our relationship has never been transactional. I never counted the favors I did for him, nor did I expect an equal number in return. Instead, our relationship is grounded in mutual respect and admiration. We genuinely want each other to succeed.
My relationship with Ramit Sethi is one of the many Rich Relationships in my network. Over the last decade, I’ve built Rich Relationships with many successful, influential people that you may know, including:
New York Times bestselling authors.
Award-winning podcasters who host top 1% shows.
Social media influencers with millions of followers and huge brand partnerships and sponsorship deals.
Entrepreneurs who have built seven-, eight-, and nine-figure businesses.
Investors who provide funding for products that are in your kitchen right now, on your phone, and part of your daily life.
Journalists, columnists, and editors at top media outlets including Elle, Cosmopolitan, Fortune, Business Insider, and Fast Company.
Some are clients. Some have referred clients to me. Some have given priceless advice. Some have made life-changing introductions. Some haven’t done any specific favor, but simply knowing them and being in their orbit inspires me to play bigger.
The people in my Rich Network are not casual acquaintances. These are not people I stood beside in a photo one time, years ago, and who don’t even remember my name. These are relationships with depth.
When someone is part of my Rich Network, this means I can reach out when I need support, and they will drop just about anything to help me out. I can share my professional wins—and they will cheer just as enthusiastically as if the victory was their own. I can be vulnerable and share when things are not going well—and they will hop on the phone to brainstorm solutions and get my mindset back on track. These are the people who show up for me when the stakes are high. The people I can count on.
Casual acquaintances don’t add much to your life, and don’t move the needle in your business. Rich Relationships, on the other hand, transform your life and make your business infinitely more successful.
Now, I was fortunate enough to spot someone who inspires me—Ramit Sethi—on the street. You may think, “Well, I don’t live in New York City! An amazing mentor or life-changing colleague isn’t just wandering down my block.”
That’s one way to look at the world. Here’s another perspective: every day, we all have opportunities to be proactive and initiate relationships with incredible people, in person and online. Every day, we can either go after rich opportunities, or we can choose to let them slip away.
No matter who you are or where you live, you can have a Rich Network filled with people who inspire you.
You can turn the people you admire into your friends, mentors, and clients.
This is exactly what I’ll teach you to do in this book.
While I run a business, own real estate, and have made several lucrative investments, my network is more valuable than any other asset in my portfolio.
One Rich Relationship is more valuable than 100 casual connections.
Imagine having a network of influential friends who inspire you, refer business to you, collaborate with you, open doors for you, lift you up when you’re feeling down, and help you accomplish your biggest goals.
How would that change your life?
To quote Dan Peña, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”
If you want to rise to the top of your field and be in-demand, there are many different investments you can make.
You can invest in ads to bring more eyeballs to your website. Hire a LinkedIn expert to spruce up your profile with the ideal keywords. Pay a designer to develop a brand identity that’s timeless and elegant.
As an entrepreneur, author, speaker, coach, consultant, service provider, or professional, there’s a never-ending list of items you could invest in. On top of that, as an individual, you can invest in the stock market, real estate, cryptocurrency, and beyond.
While many of these can be a fantastic move, getting a large return on your investment isn’t always guaranteed. And some of these investments can be extremely volatile, especially in today’s uncertain landscape.
I’ve made quite a few smart investments, but not all of my investments have worked out. Some have been deeply disappointing.
I invested $170,000 into cryptocurrency. Within a few months, I lost $100,000.
Another time, I purchased an apartment because I wanted to own an income-producing rental property. I did meticulous research and ran the numbers. Buying this property appeared to be a slam-dunk. But when several new developments popped up in the neighborhood, the market became saturated with options for tenants. High supply. Low demand. Suddenly, my rental property was vacant and costing me $6,000 a month rather than turning a profit, as I’d hoped.
Another time, I invested $7,000 into a Facebook ad campaign. Running ads had worked well for my company in the past, so I figured this time would be no different. I was wrong.
Maybe it was due to a tumultuous Presidential election, upsetting stories in the news that pulled at my clients’ attention, whispers of an economic downturn, the lingering effects of the Covid pandemic, or the fact that consumers nowadays tend to be more cautious and slow-moving when making a high-end purchase.
For whatever reason, my ads didn’t work and my launch flopped. It felt like I had poured thousands of hard earned dollars down the drain.
This disappointing experience sparked an idea.
“Instead of investing another $7,000 in Facebook ads, what if I took that same $7,000 and invested it into my relationships?”
That’s exactly what I did.
I set aside a Generosity Fund and looked for ways to support the people in my network. I set myself the goal of helping 35 colleagues and friends, dedicating $200 per person.
When a colleague was going through a costly divorce and feeling stressed about money, I took $200 from my fund and bought her a few sessions with my favorite money coach, Jenna-Rose Finnie.
Jenna-Rose graciously offered me a bulk discount on these sessions. She recognized that it can sometimes take two to three exploration calls to convert a prospect to a client. She also knew that my friends and colleagues were her most ideal clients, with the potential to work with her for years to come. Why not offer an accessible bulk package that was easy for me to say yes to, and give away to dozens of people?
When I gifted my colleague a money coaching package with Jenna-Rose, she was floored. “Really, Selena? That is so generous, I don’t even know what to say!”
A few weeks later she circled back to tell me, “Jenna-Rose helped me identify additional money that I’m legally entitled to in my divorce. This is a game changer for me!”
After two sessions I gifted her with Jenna-Rose, another colleague told me, “Jenna-Rose showed me how I can save $1,500/month. I can’t believe it!”
I did some quick math when I heard this. Savings of $1,500/month is $18,000/year, which accumulates to $36,000 in savings over two years. This $200 investment in a treasured colleague was yielding exponential returns!
I see this as a triple win. I’m supporting a fantastic coach who’s changed my life. I’m helping my colleagues and friends to reach their financial goals. I’m helping myself, too. Because when I pour into my network, I strengthen those relationships and this generosity inevitably comes back around to me—oftentimes in the most unexpected ways.
One of the people that I supported with my Generosity Fund said she’d like to promote my work in a future newsletter going out to 50,000 readers. I didn’t ask for this or expect it, but it’s a wonderful cherry on top. After being spotlighted in front of 50,000 potential clients, it’s likely a few will end up working with me in some way.
Dollar for dollar, I can guarantee that my Rich Relationships will have a bigger return than any investment I’ve ever made in ads, social media, email marketing, crypto, real estate, or the stock market.
To put things in simple math terms, consider this:
If I invest $200 in the stock market, conservatively, I can expect a 7% return on my investment each year. This means after one year my $200 grows into $214. Okay, nice, but not exactly life changing.
On the other hand, if I invest $200 into deepening and strengthening an important relationship, that person might introduce me to a new client who then purchases my $10,000 program. You don’t need to be a mathematician to see that $10,000 is a lot more than $214.
Or, maybe this colleague doesn’t refer a client to me, but their presence enriches my life in a different way. They introduce me to an incredible mentor, open the door to a major media opportunity, or share a hot tip that allows me to legally save thousands on taxes. You see where I’m going with this!
When I invest in my Rich Relationships, the return on investment is massive. I’m not saying, “don’t invest in the stock market or real estate.” You absolutely can. I do.
What I am saying is, if there’s just one investment that you’re going to focus on this year, it should be the relationships that shape your business and life. This is one type of investment we often forget about, undervalue, or overlook. But it’s the one that delivers the biggest ROI.
Rich Relationships are not prone to the whims of the market. They don't crash when a new technology is introduced. While many assets depreciate during times of crisis, Rich Relationships appreciate and can recession-proof your business. They never decline in value. They only rise.
That’s why Rich Relationships are the world’s most valuable currency. More stable than crypto. More precious than gold. And unlike real estate (which often requires a hefty down payment to get yourself in the door) you can start building Rich Relationships with as little as $200 or even $0.
Many acts of generosity cost nothing, like brainstorming with a colleague to help them solve a tricky problem, or mentioning someone’s project on social media to create more visibility for their work. Even without spending a dime, you can invest in the people that matter to you.
Throughout this book, I hope to convince you that relationships are worth investing in, and that the rewards are beyond what you can even imagine.
