Query Letter Polish Example

Here is an example of a query letter that was polished by our editorial team. Jenn Martin had been trying and trying to get her query letter noticed by countless literary agents. She spotted our Editorial Services and ordered a query letter polish, as well as other critiques.

After four new attempts, her new query letter broke through, and an agent asked to see her manuscript. We are holding thumbs for Jenn and her story!

Dear Agent,

I'm seeking representation for a 78,000-word contemporary romantic comedy about a woman who works in marketing, and she has some problems with her love life. The book is called "Love, Lies, and Laundromats," and here are the details.

Sarah is thirty-five and single, and she's tired of being alone. She works at a marketing firm, and her boss is really mean. She keeps going on bad dates from dating apps, and nothing works out. Her best friend Emma keeps trying to set her up, but those don't work either. She's really frustrated and thinks she'll never find love.

Then she meets this guy Jake, at the laundromat when her washing machine breaks. He's really cute and funny. But she finds out he's a romance novelist who writes under a female pen name and she thinks that's weird. She doesn't tell him she works in marketing because she's embarrassed about her job. So they both lie to each other about their jobs.

There's some funny stuff that happens, and they keep bumping into each other. I won't mention those details here to spoil the surprise when you read the book. More importantly, Sarah's boss wants her to work on this big campaign for a client. Jake is trying to write his next book, but he has writer's block. There are some misunderstandings, and Sarah thinks Jake is seeing another woman, but he's not.

In the end, they figure everything out and fall in love. There's a scene where they're stuck in the laundromat during a storm, and they finally tell each other the truth.

I've always loved romantic comedies, and I think this would make a great movie. I read a lot of romance novels, and I think readers will really connect with Sarah because everyone has been on bad dates. I work in marketing myself, so I know what I'm writing about.

Please let me know if you'd like to see the full manuscript.

Sincerely, Jenn Martin

Would You Like A Query Letter Polish? Please do so through our Editorial Services.

After Jenn's Query Letter Polish

Dear Ms. Thompson,

After researching your client list and recent interviews, I was drawn to your representation of romantic comedies that blend workplace humour with emotional depth. I believe my manuscript aligns perfectly with your interests in contemporary romance that tackles authentic relationship dynamics.

I'm seeking representation for LOVE, LIES, AND LAUNDROMATS, a 78,000-word contemporary romantic comedy that combines the workplace humor of Christina Lauren's THE UNHONEYMOONERS with the emotional depth of Beth O'Leary's THE FLATSHARE.

Thirty-five-year-old Sarah Chen thought the worst thing about her broken washing machine was having to schlep to Murphy's Laundromat at midnight. She was wrong. The worst thing is falling for Jake Sullivan—the annoyingly charming man folding superhero boxers who claims to be a "freelance writer." What Sarah doesn't know is that Jake is actually bestselling romance novelist J.S. Sterling, hiding behind a female pen name and desperately battling writer's block.

When Sarah's ruthless boss assigns her to rebrand a mysterious romance author's image, she never imagines her anonymous client is the same man she's been sharing late-night laundromat conversations with. Jake, meanwhile, is convinced Sarah is a struggling artist (she may have mentioned "creative projects" instead of "manipulative ad campaigns"), and finds himself writing again, inspired by their connection.

As their lies multiply faster than dirty socks, both Sarah and Jake discover that the hardest person to market is yourself—especially when you're falling in love with someone who doesn't know who you really are. When a laundromat flood forces them to confront more than just soggy clothes, they'll have to decide if their relationship can survive the spin cycle of truth.

Set against the backdrop of a London quirky neighborhood, this novel explores how we curate our identities, the courage it takes to be authentic, and whether love can survive when built on a foundation of fabric softener and white lies.

As Senior Marketing Director at a Fortune 500 company for twelve years, I've witnessed firsthand the absurd corporate dynamics that fuel Sarah's world. My marketing campaigns have won three industry awards, and I've navigated enough office politics to fuel a dozen romantic comedies. I'm an active member of Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers and have completed a publishing advanced novel workshop.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I would be thrilled to send you the complete manuscript upon request.

Best regards,

Jenn Martin

* We also offered Jenn three alternatives to hook her literary agent to reading the entire query letter.

OPTION 1: They say the best relationships are built on honesty—which is why I'm being upfront that I stalked your Twitter feed, devoured your client interviews, and may have squealed when I discovered your love for workplace rom-coms with emotional depth. My manuscript LOVE, LIES, AND LAUNDROMATS would fit perfectly on your list (and I promise my research methods are purely professional).

OPTION 2: After reading about your passion for romantic comedies that blend "messy workplaces with messier hearts," I knew I'd found my dream agent. My manuscript delivers exactly that—plus laundromat shenanigans, because nothing says romance quite like industrial-strength spin cycles and the smell of fabric softener.

OPTION 3 (More Traditional with Humor): Your reputation for championing romantic comedies that balance laugh-out-loud moments with genuine emotional stakes caught my attention faster than a dating app notification at 2 AM. I believe my manuscript LOVE, LIES, AND LAUNDROMATS delivers exactly the kind of workplace romance your clients are known for—with a twist that involves more suds than usual.

* Jenn is trying all three and will let us know which one works the best!

Query Letter Polish Via Editorial Services

Editorial Polish Comments:

STRUCTURE & PROFESSIONALISM:

Added specific agent connection and conference reference
Included word count, genre, and comp titles
Professional formatting and complete contact information (we omitted this for obvious reasons)

COMPELLING HOOK:

Opened with humor ("superhero boxers") while establishing character and conflict
Created immediate intrigue with the dual identity setup
Used active, engaging language throughout