Goodbye Glossophobia - banish your fear of public speaking

Glossophobia

By Esther Stanhope

This book is for you if you…

Hold your career back because of your fear of public speaking

Need to be more visible to build your career and your business

Need to ACE the boardroom but worry you may look a fool if you speak up

Are technically brilliant at your job but not visible (because you keep your head down)

Avoid speaking up in front of large groups

Hate all the eyes on you

Avoid appearing on panels and refuse conference requests

Are senior and need to be seen to be leading from the front

Are a leader and know people expect you to speak at events and town halls

Hate the thought of standing up and ‘saying a few words’

Feel like a lamb to the slaughter in front of large audiences and senior stake holders

Worry your mind will go blank or you’ll blush as soon as you speak under pressure

Would rather stick pins in your eyes than speak in public

Think you’re not good enough (other people are naturals)

Think you’re not ‘intelligent’ or ‘articulate’ enough

Want to appear effortlessly confident in pitches, presentations and boardrooms

Dread the thought of introducing yourself round the table (creeping death)

Think oh **** in the Q&A (questions & answer) after a presentation

Hate the thought of being judged

Need confidence to do it and help NOW!

Esther Stanhope’s an international speaker and personal impact expert from London, UK, known as The Impact Guru.

A former ‘live’ senior BBC producer, she knows how to help people communicate with more confidence and gravitas. (hmmm – this dates you – I wouldn’t put the 90s in there) Esther’s worked with ‘Big’ personalities, Hollywood stars (Madonna & George Clooney to name but a few) and world class business leaders.

A mum of 2, she took a massive leap of faith in 2011 to leave a senior staff role at the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) to set up her own consultancy business helping professionals to pitch, present and speak with more impact using her finely- tuned broadcasting skills.

Esther’s previous fear of public speaking and the thousands of people she’s helped since then led her to write Glossophobia. She shares her unusual secrets to overcome nerves so you can stand in the spotlight and speak confidently in front of audiences of any size.

She’s helped clients worldwide including; Barclays, Société Générale, JPMorgan, Deloitte, international Lawyers,, The British Government, MOD, African Leaders on the Nelson Mandela programme in the USA, as well as major players in the tech, property and creative industries.

From meetings and pitches to conferences and job interviews, Esther helps women & men make a powerful impact and ooze confidence with her practical, fun and easy to adopt tips.

Foreword by Vanessa Vallely

I first meet the power that is Esther Stanhope on the roof top of Shoreditch House in 2017. I meet lots of wonderful people, however this meeting was on another level. It was like a sun blast of both energy, passion coupled with an extremely humorous outlook on life. It was clear from the offset that Esther knew her stuff given her background as live producer at BBC where she got to rub shoulders with Hollywood stars, politicians & business leaders. She told many stories about holding cue cards for the rich and famous, prepping speeches and filling people with confidence they needed to just go and be magical.

The best bit, she wanted to share what she had learnt about public speaking over the past 27 years with the world. Music to my ears.

We waxed lyrical about the confidence it takes to stand up in front of an audience and to actually believe you now your sh*t!

I completely resonated with everything she had to say and above all the advice and tips she told me she shares at her speaking events and what would be in her forthcoming book!

I sat there wishing she was around when I first started my career. Years before I began speaking for a living I went through various melt downs prior to taking any form of stage. On reflection, I passed up far too many opportunities to put myself out there which was most due to my own fear. The over thinking, the intense prep and the belief that I had to be an A1 expert in the world and his wife before I could ever speak in public.

The biggest fear being, what if I was asked a question I couldn’t answer? What if someone in the audience knew more about the topic than me? What if I had a mind blank? A coughing fit, pronounced a word wrong or even lost my train of thought! My fear was compounded by this image I had in my mind of me standing on a stage and the audience is just looking at me silent! There is a way to create that moment, but in a good way! I am sure Esther will tell you all about it.

When I recall my own fears around public speaking, it wasn’t just stages that frightened me, sometimes it was even the confidence to speak up and get my point across in meetings. I feared all of the above issues plus a few more to boot, eg what if my idea got shot down – I’d probably raise my voice again. Things did get easier, it comes with practice, feeling the fear and doing it anyway, plus a good book packed full of useful tips, eg this one!

I absolutely recommend this book as an aid for my own audience at WeAreTheCity and the hundreds of individuals I speak to on a regular basis. At some point in our careers we will all have to address an audience of some sort. It is important that we don’t fear these occasions and that we embrace and enjoy them!

This book is packed to the brim with real life tips from someone who spent her life behind the camera coaching others to be at their absolute best. Whether you in the corporate, public or creative side of the world, this book will guide you and advise you so you can smash that presentation and feel comfortable on any stage, at any time.

Please don’t let opportunities pass you by! Get up, share your voice and be heard. Esther is going to show you how!

Enjoy

Chapter 1 - How to Spot Glossophobia

Cold sweat dripped down my back and my mind went completely blank as I stepped up to the podium at the world-famous Edinburgh International Television Festival, the UK’s prestigious global event of the year!

The two steps up onto the stage should have been easy, but I was wearing a slightly tight skirt, so I awkwardly had to lift it to give my legs enough room to climb the stairs. Oops, fail.

I started my presentation, and I had an out of body experience! I remember looking down on myself thinking – “What are you saying? You’re talking nonsense.”

This was early in my broadcasting career before I started my own business and before my BBC producer days and before I even knew what Glossophobia was.

I thought, like 75% of the world’s population, I had a healthy fear of public speaking, just like most people. But this was something else. This was a physical reaction I’d never felt before. All I could think at the time was,

“I hate this sensation of all eyes on me, I want to curl up in a hole and die!”

Turns out, I wasn’t alone. I have met and helped thousands of people who have suffered from Glossophobia.

Have you ever felt like that?

When I gave my crappy speech that day, I was head of programmes for a ‘Yoof’ TV Channel called Rapture TV. This was the ‘revolutionary’ new ‘multi-platform’ channel aimed at young people. The festival audience of highly successful senior TV execs, commissioners and producers were desperate to hear how to attract the most difficult of TV audiences - ‘young people,’ the 16-24 year old market. I was the EXPERT they had come to see, pressure. My session was seriously packed out, it was standing room only, pressure. They wanted to know how we had created this amazing NEW “live clubbing experience” on TV screens, pressure. So the expectations were H….h….h…high! (I’m getting goose bumps at the very thought of my anxiety that day)

ON that day the nerves choked me. I played a few of the pre-recorded videos (phew) so luckily, they helped buffer the fact I was a nervous presenter. My message got lost in my sea of anxiety. I fumbled over words and didn’t get to the point, skipped slides, jumbled words around, stuttered and did a lot of umm, eerrr, umming!

I did everything on the ‘How Not To Approach Public Speaking’ List!

Arrhh, I am embarrassed to say, I sucked!

My colleagues were shocked.

Even though I am an extrovert and people think I am REALLY confident, what they didn’t know and what I discovered to my horror that day was the realisation that I wasn’t confident enough on the inside to stand in front of a crowd of people and share my message under pressure.

I suffered from Glossophobia! The fear of public speaking.

Da da daaaaaaa.

Apparently 75% of us suffer from this type of anxiety – which has devastating side effects.

Do these symptoms sound familiar?

pounding heart rate (you can hear it beating in your head)

blood pressure going up, up, up

a red rash

sweaty palms, sweaty everything

quick, shallow goldfish breaths

upset stomach/nauseous

feeling light-headed and fuzzy

stiff neck and upper back muscles

shaking hands

quivering voice

dry-as-paper-mouth

a hamster wheel of negative thoughts running obsessively in your head

It was a bloody horror show.

I also didn’t realise until 5 years ago (nearly 20 years later) that my Glossophobia had been one of the main reasons I had held myself back in my career.

Have you ever felt like this?

Does Glossophobia Hold You Back? (graphic)

Many of my clients in business have described similar side effects as well as shaking, coming out in a rash, having to take Diazepam (yes, I’ll talk about this later in the book) and total brain freeze!

There’s good news!

Since then, I have learnt how to be comfortable in front of audiences of every size and to make an impact with them.

Yes. I have transformed by learning from others and understanding that everyone is different. I have learnt to trust myself and that venturing outside your comfort zone is a good thing. I have learnt that failure is sometimes the fastest way to improve and grow in confidence.

Since my shaky day in Scotland all those years ago, I have helped thousands of speakers all over the world, BBC presenters, politicians and business leaders from global organisations (banks, law firms and FTSE 100 firms) nail their speeches despite their Glossophobia - fear of public speaking.

I have also mastered the art of speaking to a large audience myself! (And finding joy in it.)

Can you believe standing on a stage in front of 100s of people has become my comfort zone? It could be yours!

But first, I’d be happy to see you feeling comfortable standing up and speaking up in a meeting of 3 people.

Just as I had to do.

The shaky, red-faced, stumbling Esther has changed.

And there’s one thing I know for sure, if I can master it, you can.

You’ll transform your confidence and your business when you learn to speak up in meetings, pitches, in the boardroom and even in front of a larger audience – like at a Town Hall or a conference, on a panel or even on TV.

I was inspired to write this book because I have spoken to thousands of people, close friends, colleagues and clients who have suffered, just like me. And their transformations when they’ve tackled their demons and faced Glossophobia head on (with my help) is extraordinary.

At the BBC I was a behind the scenes person. As a senior producer – I launched TV Presenter Vanessa Feltz’s radio show and looked after the likes of Boris Johnson and Theresa May live on air. I was the one shouting from behind the glass “go on, you’re brilliant darling, eyes and teeth, roll VT!”

But I didn’t have the confidence then to be in front of the camera or audiences.

I’ve learnt first-hand (and so have hundreds of my clients) that the power of public speaking is essential to build a successful career and do better business.

“Esther has been a game changer for me personally and for my status in the market, which has lead to more business for the bank. Esther is brilliant and fun to work with. I would not hesitate in recommending her, particularly to senior women who, often avoid the spotlight”

Senior leader at a Barclays Bank

__________________

You can attract more clients after learning the art of confident speaking. I’ve seen senior leaders get promoted because they learned to manage their ‘Panel-nerves”. Many of my clients have made multi-million-dollar deals because they’ve mastered the art of getting their voices heard loud and clear in Exec Committee Meetings.

There’s NO down side to combatting Glossophobia. It changes your life, your inner-confidence and your career!

You can do it too. You can learn to combat those speaking nerves. Are you ready? Read on…

NOTE TO WOMEN

There’s one other alarming thing I’ve discovered!

I’ve travelled the world helping business professionals from all over (particularly women in business). My observation?

Woman are much less likely than men to stand up and put themselves in the spotlight.

There. I’ve said it. I thought it was just me.

Hey, men struggle with Glossophobia too, but in business – how many women compared to men do you see speaking at conferences, podiums, the ‘town hall’ standing in front of large audiences – in the spotlight?

This is another reason I decided to write this pocket guide for you.

This is a call to action for women!

It’s quick, easy to follow, fun and full of practical tips that demystify the art of speaking up in front of people; in the board room, in the meeting, in the presentation or at the conference.

It’s your time to be visible, and to be a role model. It’s your time to speak up in meetings, on panels and get yourself behind podiums and on stages. Whatever and wherever you’d like. And to always feel like yourself.

Are you ready to take a deep breath and start your journey into the spotlight?

Graphic - box

“Ready for the Esther Stanhope experience? Brace yourself”

Keily Blair - Lawyer at EY

Chapter 2. How Do I Start?

STOP!

That’s how you start. Don’t even THINK about writing a script for your meeting or presentation. Put the pen DOWN!

Don’t worry, I know you’re obsessed with the excruciating blank sheet of paper and this is probably whirring around your head…

“I don’t know what I’m going to say, I need to prepaaaaaare, I need to get the script written, I need to research EVERYTHING I could possibly be asked about XYZ, I need to get my junior to get ALL the slides from XYZ, the facts, figures, graphs, visuals, yes, some photographs to liven it up, yes the old deck will have lots of useful information I can use. I need to KNOW EVERYTHING, then I will know what I have to say and I’ll be an expert, I’ll be confident when I KNOW everything and I’m prepared with a script that’s right and correct with CLEVER things in it that make me look credible and CLEVER and confident…etc…etc….”

Well here’s the good news. You don’t have to do all that.

STOP!