Kase Johnstun

Veronica

Mérida, Yucatán, Mexico 1923

Veronica Chavez watched the soon-to-be divorcees as they navigated the streets of Mérida. She followed them and hoped one of the men, covered in a beige linen suit and recently purchased Mayan hat, would leave the courthouse, see her standing there, and fall in love with her, swept up in the ecstasy of leaving his puta of a wife. The ex-wives must be putas to lose the love of their beautiful, rich, white husbands.

She followed one soon-to-be-divorced couple from the town square, where their trolley dropped them at the courthouse. They stood and waited for a moment after the trolley left; the man unfolded a map, and the woman peered over his shoulder and pointed. With a nod, he agreed. His eyes were blue and his hair was dusty blonde. He wore the same thin, beige linen suit that all the men who came to Mérida in the 1920s to get divorced wore. Veronica imagined a store gigante in los Estados Unidos. It was at the port, and men, ready to board a ship to cross the Gulf of Mexico and get a divorce, stood outside in a line, wearing heavy blue suits. They entered one by one, and when they came out, they all wore the divorce suit—beige linen—and boarded the ship.

Veronica was the oldest of four girls, but her father never felt the loss of not having a boy. She got up early every summer morning and packed up his fishing boat. By the age of six, she was the best deckhand her father had ever known, and with her help, he made a good living hauling in fish and selling them at the fish market.

Veronica and her father would rumble from the dock into the Gulf of Mexico, his three-horsepower Evinrude spitting tar-thick exhaust into the air. The little motor pushed against the swells of the morning tide, and once they were out over the reef, the water cleared up. Thousands of fish swam in and out of the Yucatán reef, and every morning, as the sun rose up over the ocean, her father would nod at her and she would smile and jump in feet first to swim with the fish as the water rose and fell around her. She felt more alive when surrounded by water than at any other time in her life, like her skin was made to soak it in. He let her swim as long as she wanted, until her hands grasped the side of the boat and he lifted her up and onto the deck. He would give her a hug, kiss her wet head, and say, "Cast away, mija, cast away. " Then the work for the day began.

Ten lines and two nets were always in the water. Veronica worked five lines and one net while her father worked the others. When a fish got on, she yanked at the pole to set the hook. When she was younger, she would miss the fish or yank at nothing, mistaking the swell of the ocean tugging on the rod for a bite, but as she got older, she rarely missed. The yank had to be perfect: not so tough that the hook ripped the lip of the fish, but not so soft that the fish spit it out. She raised and lowered the rod to let the fish run a little bit and keep the line from snapping. She gave a little and took a little. Too much pull or too little give would rip the mouth right through, and a big portion of the day's or even the week's catch could swim away from the boat.

Every once in a while, Veronica and her father would float over a school of tuna, mackerel, grouper, or sea bass. Three, four, or five lines would drop hard, and one of the dragging nets would fill up and pull the boat one way or the other. Dragging into a big school of snapper could line her father's pockets and feed his family for a month. He could keep half of the catch and sell the rest. When the rods dropped down together, Veronica's eyes lit up with fear, excitement, and adrenaline. She jumped to her feet and ran to each rod that had a fish on it. She yanked to set the hooks and placed the rods back down into their holders. She did this while her father wrestled with the net that hung on the side of the boat. He was small, but he had the strength of a man twice his size. He grabbed one end of the net and hooked it onto a latch on the inside of the boat and then pulled the rest of the net in, fish flopping and jumping and hopping around his legs. A larger fish could snap a leg if it hit it right, so he had to avoid the largest of them as they tried to flop back into the sea. Veronica's father had to wrangle all these fish into the live storage box filled with seawater before he could help her.

But she needed little help. Once she set the hooks, she ran back to the first rod and reeled it in. She threw the big fish into the open live storage box, cut the head off their bait fish, baited the hook, and dropped it back down into the school of fish before moving on to the next rod. "Fish on, fish in, bait out," she repeated to herself. By the time they made it through a school of fish, the live storage box was full, and they could fit nothing more on the boat, so they were free to head home for the day. Most of the time they didn't. Instead, they pulled in all the rods, except for two, and sat and talked and waited leisurely for a fish to bite. With smaller bait, they hoped to catch more the beautiful fish that swam along the reef's edge. The angelfish. The butterfly fish. The surgeonfish. They wanted to reel them in, hold the brightest things that the ocean and life had to offer, and throw them back.

"Okay," her dad would say when the sun began to bake their backs.

"Okay," Veronica would say. She'd strip down to her bathing suit and jump into the ocean to swim above the reef until she got tired.

But much sooner than her dad wanted, Veronica started to disappear on Saturday mornings. She was out the door, with her hair primped and wearing her prettiest dress, in search of an American divorcee.

Veronica twirled her dark Mayan hair and sat in one of the famous concrete loveseats of Mérida alone, acting as if she were there to watch the men paint the bottom of the trees white to protect them from the appetites of bugs. She placed one hand on her leg and patted her knee with her fingers until the couples began to move across the stone streets of the great Yucatán city. She felt graceful and invisible. The soon-to-be-divorced couples didn't notice the stunningly beautiful Mayan girl following them around corners and yelling out, "Tu esposa es una puta! Soy princesa Maya!" hoping to plant an early seed in the man's mind. She hoped that when he exited the courthouse, he would be happy to get rid of his wife and, more importantly, be looking for a Mayan princess to sweep off her feet and take home with him to los Estados Unidos.

The man and his wife of unremarkable features stopped at the courthouse steps. Its pillars jetted up beside them and made them look small in comparison. They stayed there for a moment, as if second-guessing themselves, as if the busy street, filled with vendors and tradesmen, became quiet for their last moment of marriage.

"Tu esposa es una puta!" broke the silence and their gaze into each other's eyes. They entered the courtyard frowning and separated. While they were inside, Veronica pulled her hair from her ponytail and brushed it out. It flowed down onto her shoulders and lay like a piece of silk on her back. She smiled and batted her eyelids at the courtyard exit, hoping the handsome man would exit and see her going about the business of being breathtaking, graceful, and seductive all at once. When he didn't come out after the first thirty or forty snaps of her head and eyelids—the process was usually a couple minutes long—Veronica's neck started to kink up, and the soft, elegant movement of her head turned to a quick, jerking movement like a rubber band being snapped from her right shoulder to her left. But she was determined to catch his eye with her elegance. After the fiftieth or sixtieth snap, she looked more like a drunken peacock than a beautiful Mayan princess, and that was when the man and his wife walked out of the courthouse. She did not catch his eye. She didn't even see his eyes.

The man and his wife held each other and cried when they walked out, and the tall columns of the courthouse seemed to curve in to embrace them. Tears dripped from the man's chin, and the couple walked down the stairs past Veronica. She glanced down at their hands and saw their wedding rings shining below the knuckles of their ring fingers.

"Mierda," Veronica said. She walked away, back toward the empty S-shaped loveseat in the city center.

#

Chapter Two

Jesus (Chuy)

Salt Lake City, 1990

Researchers have presented study after study about the sad shape of Americans' views of financial success. More than one third of the people in this great country of ours believes that winning the lottery is the only way they will be rich and change their lives, and more than that, they believe that playing the lottery is a solid investment in their future.

I'm not one of those idiots.

I know the lottery is a scam. I know that anyone who believes that the lottery is a legitimate option for fulfilling their dreams should have his head examined. I'm no dummy. From a young age, I knew exactly how I would not get rich and save my family—I would be the winner of the reality TV show CastAway Island.

We walked off the plane in Salt Lake City, Utah, to a world painted white. White attendants, white families with white hair on the tops of all their white heads, and white temples with tall white spires that shot up into the air. My great aunt Veronica, my grandma Rosa’s oldest sister— who had always told us stories about her oldest sister who lived in Salt Lake City and had taught her to make flour tortillas when she was little—met my mom, my brother Hector, and me outside of security. To pick us up, she wore her best day robe and rolled up to us in her red, motorized wheelchair.

Aunt Veronica was old, really old, and her hair had been sprayed so firmly in place that air got trapped between the sticky strands of the aerosol net. My mom told me that mi tia came to the United States in 1923. The US Border Patrol and hadn’t been created yet and immigrants from Mexico, with no proper paperwork, weren’t considered aliens by the US I tried to talk to her in Spanish, but she acted like she couldn't hear me, tilting her head toward me and cupping her ear. The three of us walked beside her on the way to her car, like secret servicemen accompanying an old, deaf, robed diplomat through the airport.

My mom, dressed in her most formal dress—flower hat, flower dress, high-heeled shoes with a flower on each toe—held her Green Card in the air like a shield, although we had all been cleared through customs. If a white kid so much as looked at her, she put the Green Card in his face and said, "Legal!" She'd worked hard to get it, begged my aunt to sponsor her, walked down to the consulate every week, jumped through every hoop, and even used some of the money my father had sent back from the states last summer to grease the hand of a consulate official to push the paperwork through a little faster. To her, the Green Card she flashed in the faces of white Utahns at the airport was a small representation of everything my father had done for us over the last four years. The crossing back and forth over the border, the giving up of his blacksmith job, the back-breaking work, and the rooming with five other men in a studio apartment downtown.

"Gracias, Tia," I said to my aunt. She cupped her ear and rolled on.

As we walked, my mom placed her hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Use your English words."

"Thank you, Tia Veronica," I said as loudly as I could.

She slammed on her brakes. Her hair did not move. She looked up at me and said, "You’re welcome, Chuy. You are a handsome young boy. You will do fine here." She patted my arm and gunned it.

Hector slugged me on the arm, "Ooh, señor guapo." He slugged me again. "Guapo, guapo, guapo." Hector's left eyebrow dropped down as if to wink, but he didn’t. I'd picked up a few words in English faster than him. I'd been able to memorize all the cities in Utah, and now I was our aunt's handsome young nephew. Now, I know that he was jealous, but then, I thought he was just a dick of an older brother. He was good at that.

In my aunt's boat-like Lincoln Town Car, we drove out of the Salt Lake City Airport and through the west side of the city, through the neighborhoods that sat west of Interstate 15. On the east side, big, fancy houses crawled up the slope of the Wasatch Mountains, and the bright green, perfectly manicured lawns of the University of Utah campus loomed above the west side like money perched up above, looking down on the concrete-grey west side of the city.

Rose Park. El Parque de Rosas, that's where my aunt lived. Hector and I sat in the back of the car and let Rose Park swallow us up. The red, green, and white of the Mexican flag and the emblem of the eagle clutching the serpent between its teeth decorated the Rose Park landscape—peeling Mexican flag bumper stickers hung from rusty the bacs of cars, knitted red, green, and white blankets sat on couches in the windows of homes, and mailboxes shone with the national colors of my home. My aunt rolled down the windows with the automatic window button. We stared, wide-eyed, in an effort to see as much of our new country as we possibly could, a country that at that point didn't look much different from the one we’d left. Traditional Yucatán and Michoacán and Jalisco music twanging with violins, guitars and double bass wiggled through the air, mixing with the deep thud of Chicano rap. We were flooded with sounds old and new; sounds of Mexico.

When we pulled into the driveway, had our eyes not been stuck on the sights and sounds of Rose Park, we might have noticed the car pull into my aunt's driveway behind us and come to a stop, and we might have noticed my father standing near the garage with his arms and hands already extended into the air, ready to squeeze us as long as he could.

Since my dad had packed his bags in the middle of the night four years earlier, our reunions had become the end all and be all of my year. Summer work would dry up in the Estados Unidos, and the hiring managers would walk up to him on his last day of work, hand him his final paycheck for the season, and give him a few extra dollars for his journey back to Yucatán—to Chelem. He would arrive near the end of October. We never knew exactly when, so when the front door of our one-level home opened and he walked through, my world also opened again. He would throw off his cowboy hat, and by the time I got to him, coming toward him at a full sprint, he’d have his hands and arms extended so far out to reach me that his embrace began three feet away from his body and continued until I had long lost my breath from the tightness of his squeeze.

Hector always hung back and waited for me to let go, waited for Dad to come to him, waited for my father's return to seem less heroic. When my father wrapped his arms around his eldest son, Hector leaned into him and shrugged, pushing tears to the edges of my father's eyes.

At the beginning of every October, I started to talk about Dad's return home, about the stories he would tell us about the mansions he built, about the pools that he dug, about the bathrooms the size of our entire house. Hector would not say a word. He shrugged and locked