John Miles

I want to lead you through a short thought experiment.

In your mind—or better yet, on a piece of paper—take a moment to write down one or two of your biggest life goals. Take the seat belt off for this one, and really think of which dream, desire, passion, or goal has always been sitting patiently in the back of your heart, longing for its chance to break free and burst into reality.

Have it written down? Now, flip it over, and write down the answer to the following questions: What is the biggest fear that keeps you from realizing that dream?

Why do so few of us pursue our dreams?

Why do we cower from committing to work on something about which we are genuinely passionate?

Why do so many people, regardless of profession, settle for less?

Think about it. Jim Collins, author of Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t, discovered in his prominent research that there are very few great businesses and even fewer genuinely inspirational leaders. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, explored why so many of us live with a fixed mindset. Katy Milkman, author of How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, uncovered that it’s easier to settle for a life that is good enough than it is to make deliberate behavior changes attached to living an intentional one.

Why? We all know people who are happy with “good enough.” What do I mean by that? The truth is that some people are satisfied with the ordinary.

For the vast majority, passing through life looks something like this:

Birth

Graduate elementary school

Graduate middle school

Graduate high school

Attend college or trade school

Get a stable job

Buy a house

Raise a family

Pay off the mortgage

Retire

Death

While this overly crude simplification doesn’t do justice to any number of achievements occurring during the span of someone’s actual life, this well-trodden path neatly illustrates the point I’m trying to make: not pursuing our dreams is far from an isolated case.

The Social Cycle Theory[i] argues “that events and stages of society and history are generally repeating themselves in cycles.” And I believe that we are in the midst of a new cycle—just as reeducation was necessary to endure and succeed in the Industrial Age, the same holds for the Information Age. The only difference is that the system stayed the same when this shift happened. According to a 2016 report on economic mobility,[ii] “Since the 1970s, income inequality has again soared to levels not seen since early in the 20th century. While the economy more than doubled over these four decades, the rising tide did not lift all boats.” There are many reasons for this (greed, money, power, political divide, shareholders). Still, the result of all of this means that once again, people can no longer rely on what’s worked in the past to provide what they need in the future.

The once-pulsating vitality and indomitable spirit of entrepreneurship, which propelled the United States to the zenith of admiration worldwide, now languishes in a steady, three-decade decline. Numerous studies, employing diverse methodologies to gauge the rise of high-growth firms and measure entrepreneurial growth, converge upon a disquieting consensus: the quintessential American dream, once an aspiration that resonated across the globe, teeters precariously at a tipping point. It has evolved into an elusive aspiration, becoming something that fewer people can attain, much less hope for. I believe that we are amidst a global emergency for much of society.

Let’s look at this through the lens of the Kauffman Foundation,[v] a non-profit fostering entrepreneurship, which publishes its Kauffman Startup Activity Index that measures startup density. Its 2021 report[vi] shows that in 2013, the Startup Activity Index was at its lowest point in the past twenty years, and “in the first year of the pandemic, the opportunity share of new entrepreneurs plummeted. It decreased from 86.9 percent in 2019 to 69.8 percent in 2020, representing the largest drop over the past 25 years and perhaps much longer.” The rate of new entrepreneurs from the entire population starting a new business was only 0.36 percent in 2021. The 2015 Kauffman density graph (see Figure 1) illustrates how the decline in startup density actually started more than thirty years ago.

A profound revelation emerged from a comprehensive study[i] conducted by the Brookings Institution. The findings reverberate with a resounding truth: the startup rate, a barometer measuring the emergence of new organizations as a proportion of the entire business landscape, has plummeted by nearly half since the year 1978. This distressing decline, vividly illustrated in Figure 2 of the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ chart, showcases a stark juxtaposition. The once-vibrant realm of nascent small businesses, the lifeblood of innovation and economic growth, has been engulfed in a precipitous descent since 2005. Conversely, large enterprises, boasting more than 250 employees, surges forth with an inverse and relentless ascent. This stark divergence paints a vivid portrait of an economic landscape besieged by ominous tides of change, as the very foundation of vibrant, agile entrepreneurship crumbles before our eyes. These staggering visuals encapsulate the urgent need to confront this unsettling reality and reignite the spirit of innovation, creativity, and risk-taking p that once set our world ablaze.

“A global emergency” may sound pretty stark, but it’s an accurate description all the same. We are witnessing daily evidence of this as deep social, economic, political, and geographical rifts; economic immobility[i] [AS1] [JM2] and income inequality[ii] are causing people to reject or shift traditional values and beliefs. Other key indicators of this global emergency can be observed in the growing decline of work engagement. The Gallup “State of the Global Workplace: 2022 Report” found that only 21 percent of the world’s full-time workers are engaged in and love what they do, costing employers $7.8 trillion in lost productivity.[iii] And, as a group, only 29 percent of millennials are engaged at work.[iv] Said another way, nearly 80 percent of the world’s full-time employees loathe their jobs.

Every day of sitting in the cubicle is another day checked off before the weekend, the end of the month, the next vacation, and, before you know it, retirement. The paycheck provides just enough motivation to get out of bed in the morning but not enough to put in extraordinary effort. Nor is it low enough to give the inspiration to find another job or start a business. So, we have a situation whereby many of us do just enough, nothing more, nothing less, patiently waiting for a chance to do something we actually care about when the time comes.

However, that time rarely comes, and we reach a point where our efforts no longer mean anything. We feel hopeless in our attempts to overcome these negative situations for the better. So, we sit idle in our current conditions because this perceived lack of control becomes a trained behavior. What we believe is what we become, and when that sets in, we cannot experience joy or optimism in our life.

Here’s what many people don’t understand: The opposite of joy is not unhappiness. The opposite of joy is the lack of intentionality in our lives, leading to chronic hopelessness. This state of meaninglessness, akin to nihilism, is a dire condition where the very essence of existence loses all significance. It creeps into every aspect of life, work, and society, leaving behind an abyss devoid of purpose.

The impact of this insidious affliction is far-reaching. It fosters stagnation, indifference, loneliness, and resignation, eroding the belief in life's purpose and fading memories of brighter days. This profound metamorphosis traps you in a mere existence, falling tragically short of the life you desire. It's a surrender to hopelessness, and apathy takes hold of your surroundings, severing ties to work, relationships, and the very core of your being.How do you change this narrative? How can you wake up each morning genuinely excited to tackle the challenges that lie ahead?

The most pressing gap we face today is the skillset gap. Large institutions and governments failed to adapt to the Information Age, leaving millions of people to grapple with the harsh reality of jobs being replaced by outsourcing, automation, robotics, and artificial intelligence (AI). And unfortunately, this trend is only going to intensify.

These millions of individuals urgently need an alternative way to acquire the essential skillsets and education required to thrive in this new system. It's time to recognize that we, as humans, are the ultimate adaptation machines, designed to learn and evolve. In essence, each one of us is a new textbook, capable of embracing change and seizing opportunities to make our mark in this rapidly evolving world.

What Does It Mean to Actually Give a F*ck?

My apologies for the expletive-laden heading, but I’ve deliberately chosen it for a reason. Many leading authors, most notably Mark Manson,[v] continue to espouse that “negativity is the path to positivity” and urge their readers to “ignore every step-by-step system for success.” In both of his books, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Everything is F*cked, as well as in his articles,[vi] Manson argues that we should f*ck “finding the positives in life” and instead focus on the tolerance and acceptance of the negative experiences. Manson believes that “success is just something everyone has made up, and it is not even real.”[vii]

I agree with Manson that:

“We should be comfortable being different,”

“Care about something more important than adversity,”

“What matters are a person’s intentions,”

“Showing unconditionality by being unconditional yourself,” and

“Constantly choose where to put our f*cks.”

But, I couldn’t disagree more on a significant element: passion and purpose should drive your life and your work.

You should want to live your dreams and strive to develop your abilities and talents fully. If you don’t get passionate about what you’re doing, you’ll never undertake your calling. You’ll become yet another slave to the “do just enough until the weekend” mantra that is trapping so many of the world’s current employees.

When I think of trying to relate the importance of giving a f*ck, I often find myself thinking of the famous Steve Jobs quotation: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”

Jobs’s critical message here is often overlooked. It’s in the first sentence: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life…” This realization cannot be understated. As part of one of the biggest studies of occupational health,[viii] the World Health Organization unveiled that we spend a third of our entire lives at work. Let that sink in for a moment. Apart from sleeping, there is no other activity you will spend more of your life undertaking. What has been the point if you’ve spent that time wishing away each day between weekends?

Steve Jobs realized this fact early, as have many other passion-struck leaders I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, researching, and interviewing.

We’ll delve deeper into what defines a passion-struck leader because there are many valuable lessons that can help to shift our perspective on work and life in general. [JM3]

In analyzing the data and insights provided by those I’ve studied over the past seven years, I have developed several key concepts from my interviews, research, and observations. During my lengthy investigation, I also found that several factors I’d expected to influence my results or to be common trends were less significant than I would have thought. Surprisingly, some of these dynamics that did not affect a passion-struck transition included heritability, wealth, IQ, school grades, aptitude, and birth zip code.

Suppose those factors didn’t influence that transition from run-of-the-mill to unstoppable juggernauts of their respective industries. What are the secrets behind their rise to prominence and becoming passion struck?

What Defines Those Who Become Passion Struck?

In her groundbreaking book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth concluded that grit (the combination of passion and perseverance) matters more than talent.

Her theory is that “when you consider individuals in identical circumstances, what each achieves depends on just two things, talent and effort. Talent—how fast we improve skill—absolutely matters. But effort factors into the calculations twice, not once. Effort builds skill. At the very same time, effort makes skill productive.”

She illustrates this through the formula

talent x effort = skill and skill x effort = achievement.

Her study of grit started at the United States Military Academy, examining why some cadets graduated and others failed to do so. She concluded after years of research that it was because of grit. And, I won’t argue that grit plays a significant part in determining that outcome. However, I can speak to and observe this through a different lens: one of first-hand experience.

I graduated from a similar institution to West Point—the U.S. Naval Academy. And, I had the perspective of being a member of the Brigade Honor Staff, overseeing the largest cheating scandal[ix] in the institution’s history. That experience taught me a fundamental lesson: It is not the mega-events in our life that define us. Instead, it is the infinite tiny moments, those critical micro choices [AS4] that occur daily and how they alter our mindset and behavior, that matter the most.

The Naval Academy’s purpose is “to develop Midshipmen morally, mentally, and physically and to imbue them with the highest ideals of duty, honor, and loyalty.” Like the West Point cadets, the Midshipmen learn to consider the choices they make carefully because once they graduate, their lives and the lives of those they lead depend on them.

When I started to think about this experience through the lens of everyday life and to research visionaries, creators, athletes, founders, and game-changers, a light bulb went off. As I examined Duckworth’s formula, I found that an essential input was consistently missing: intentionality.

In other words, if we know what our ultimate goal is (graduating from the Naval Academy or West Point and becoming an officer), then we need to pursue the daily actions to get there and identify the impediments in the way of that goal and eradicate them. And the only way to do that is by being intentional. You can have all the grit in the world, but if you are not deliberate in deploying it, you will never reach your full capabilities. Also, suppose you are not intentional with your core values. In that case, you will cheat yourself, as hundreds of Midshipmen of the Class of 1994 did on the Electrical Engineering final exam.[x]

In writing, a transition is a word or phrase that connects one idea to another. This connection can occur in a paragraph or between paragraphs. These transitions are used to show how different subject matter is linked to other subject matter that you’re relating to the reader and how the reader relates to the overall theme of the blog post, paper, or book you’re writing.

Like these transition points in writing, we have transition points connecting important life events that are intrinsically tied to our intentions. Whether it’s evil, good, desire, meaning, worry, doubt, achievement, frustration, or the direction of our livesall of it is decided in daily micro choices to which we pay little attention.

Yes, Duckworth is correct in her observation that grit is one of the core attributes possessed by those cadets who graduate. Still, they also had something equally important, if not more critical: intentionality.

Being intentional helps you to comprehend the importance of what you aim for in life and directs your behaviors and actions to help you achieve it. Just as essential, it enables you to understand what you’re not aiming for. Intentionality gives you greater clarity around your aspirations and takes the guesswork out of where to invest your focus and time. This intentionality makes the difference between someone achieving self-realization versus achievement alone.

During the Passion Struck podcast interview with Katy Milkman,[xi] who co-founded the Behavior Change for Good Initiative with Angela Duckworth, I stated: “I can have all the grit in the world. However, I will not reach my end goal if I don’t know how to drive it intentionally.” I then asked Milkman about her view of the statement, how she thought that Duckworth would respond, and about her opinion on the importance of intentionality in behavior change. Milkman explained:

Hanging around Angela [Duckworth], I don’t think she would say grit is the only ingredient. It’s just one ingredient that seems important to success and that she’s studied. And she’s done a lot of work on situation modification with James Gross, Ph.D., a brilliant psychologist at Stanford University. And I think she also thinks that’s a very important component of success. Situation modification basically means intentionality—having a recognition that if my situation isn’t going to support my goals, then I need to change it.

Milkman continued:

I think, in that sense, she [Duckworth] would certainly agree that it’s intentionality—having an understanding of your purpose and how to best approach it is going to be another important ingredient to success. I certainly agree with it. And it’s part of the reason I wrote the book How to Change. I felt like science had given us a lot of insights into what we could do if we had an intention and a goal that weren’t clearly enough articulated to a wide audience and best use case limitations, and so on. So, I think both Angela [Duckworth] and I would agree with your premise.

This experience and observation led me to define a theory on why some achieve the realized self while others do not. I wrote volumes of diagrams and comparisons and reviewed data that test this theory, thinking about it, sometimes alone and often bouncing it off colleagues and family. The result is two simple equations that build on Duckworth’s work and add a crucial element.

The theory of the psychology of self-realization says that self-realization depends on passion, perseverance, and intentionality when considering people in identical situations. Grit, the strength of character—absolutely is essential. But it is not the only factor in the calculation. The Second Law of Thermodynamics is one of the most fundamental laws of nature. It says that as energy is transformed or transferred, more and more of it is wasted. The Second Law of Thermodynamics also states that in any closed system, that system will move towards entropy unless you inject energy.[i] Another way to think about this is that if you have a goal, you have to put energy into the inputs during the micro choices in life to achieve the outcome you want, or you will encounter inertia. That is what it means to have intentionality—to direct our mindset, beliefs, and actions in alignment with our character, goals, and core values.

And that is what it means to be passion struck. Becoming passion struck isn’t a destination. It is the never-ending pursuit of harnessing all that you are in the service of realizing your best self, so you can help to elevate the bar for the rest of humanity. It is the journey to self-realization through passion, perseverance, and intentionality.

Essentially, those who are passion struck are so fervent about their calling that they have the grit and intentionality to pursue it to the ends of the earth and fulfill their purpose—even if that means potential financial, reputation, and career peril. Those who are passion struck address the novel problems impacting society. They intentionally align their values with what best brings them bliss.

Those Who Are Passion Struck Obsess over Their Calling

Passion might feel like a term that wouldn’t receive much attention from many prominent leaders, but having met some of the most influential leaders in the world today, trust me when I say that couldn’t be any further from the truth. These leaders obsess about what they do; more precisely, their lives are intentionally fixated on the problem they are trying to solve. It keeps them up at night, dominates every conversation, and drives them to achieve their aspirations no matter the obstacle or the number of times they fail.

During one encounter with Salesforce founder Marc Benioff in 2010, I began to finally pierce the veil guarding the barrier to becoming passion struck. I was fortunate to spend a great deal of time with Marc over a few years as we toured cities across the globe to promote the power of cloud computing. During one of our conversations, I asked him what gave him the impetus to launch what would become the world’s most prominent customer relationship management (CRM) software and cloud-computing company. I was intrigued by his answer:

I had it pretty good before starting Salesforce. I interned for Steve Jobs during college, and after graduating, I joined Oracle. Over the next four to five years, I got my head down and worked my way through various corporate roles on the sales, marketing, and product development side. At 23, they named me Oracle Rookie of the Year. By the time I was 25, they had made me a millionaire. A year later, they made me a vice president.

Stunned by what was apparently such an abundance of success at Oracle, I asked the obvious follow-up question, “So what happened? Why leave?” Marc paused for a few seconds to stew over the matter before answering with astonishing brevity: “I didn’t feel fervent about what I was doing, and I knew I wouldn’t be happy and fulfilled unless I pursued my passion.”

When pressed further, he explained:

After 13 years at Oracle, I still felt unfulfilled and was itching to try something else; I just didn’t know what. So I asked Larry Ellison, the founder and CEO of Oracle, if I could have his blessing to take a sabbatical. I then spent the majority of the next year traveling. I spent a great deal of time in Hawaii in particular, where I studied meditation in depth.

I wanted to harness the power of meditation to try and discover an idea that would inspire my genuine passion. Hour after hour, I sat there, contemplating problems within the software industry. After taking a swim with a pod of dolphins, it suddenly came to me. Why do software companies force their products onto clients’ servers? What if they could access applications on a centralized cloud-based server, literally whenever or wherever they want, just by using their browser? In other words, what if a company could sell software as a service rather than a product?

And that was it. Benioff had found the key to what I was searching for.

It turned out to be a difference-maker for Marc Benioff to pursue his passionate obsession. After much time spent on reflection, he now had a problem (in his case, pursuing cloud computing) that became his life’s calling. Countless setbacks (such as the dot-com bubble), numerous battles (including with his old boss Ellison), and innumerable sacrifices later, he had created the world’s most prominent software-as-a-service (SaaS) company in the world.

How? He became passion struck.

This example perfectly illustrates the power of passion and perhaps why those who are genuinely intentional in life leave others behind. If we followed Mark Manson’s mantra of not building a career about which we are passionate, we would have far fewer innovators in our time. The Marc Benioffs of this world wouldn’t exist. They would have simply stuck with their well-paid, agreeable jobs and done nothing to threaten the security of their corporate cubicle existence.

Marc Benioff took a leap of faith based on his purpose with passion, perseverance, and intentionality. It’s a decision that’s been paying dividends ever since. But not everyone makes that decision.

Do You Have What It Takes to Become Passion Struck?

In a word, yes.

You might wrongly assume that you shouldn’t be passionate about something because you feel uncomfortable about potentially hitting the dizzying heights that the likes of Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, and Steve Jobs experienced. But in my view, passion should not be viewed in that paradigm. You don’t have to be a famous billionaire to be passion struck. That’s not what the term exclusively predicates.

If you feel that you are ready to listen to your inner voice and take the first step on the journey toward becoming a growth-seeker of tomorrow and “expanding your freedom,” below is a framework you can use as a roadmap to your success. I created it using a combination of my seven years of research on peak performers and the lessons I learned over my thirty-year career on how to achieve personal fulfillment.

The twelve-step framework applies six distinct mindset shifts and six fundamental behavior shifts (in your character and beliefs) that you’ll need to embrace to reach your goals. Some will have to be tackled early in your journey, while others will act as epiphanies late in your development. There is an order to these steps, and some can occur concurrently. These steps underpin a personal journey. The same one that the leaders before you undertook to unlock an intentional life.

In Part One, I outline the key mindset shifts, which consist of six steps:

Mission Angler

Brand Reinventor

Mosquito Auditor

Fear Confronter

Perspective Harnesser

Action Creator

In Section Two, I detail essential intentional behavior changes for aspiring Passion Struck individuals:

Anxiety Optimizer

Originality Embracer

Boundary Magnifier

Outward Inspirer

Gardner Leader

Conscious Engager

Subsequent chapters explore deploying these shifts in your life using the "psychology of progress."

Part 3: The Most Important Piece of the Puzzle—the Psychology of Progress

The Five Transitions on the Journey to Becoming Passion Struck

Never Ignore the Physics of Progress

Perfect the Bee-and-Turtle Effect by Dreaming Big and Planning Small

Unleash Intentionality: Ignite Your Path to Meaning and Fulfillment

Conclusion: Step into Your Sharp Edges Every Day[AS1]

We will start by analyzing billionaire Jim McKelvey. Although McKelvey may not be a familiar name, he is a modern entrepreneur and artist who co-founded the financial-services platform Square and the non-profit LaunchCode. He is now working on a new venture called Invisibly, where his passion-struck obsession is disrupting the current publishing industry paradigm.

It is important to recognize that each individual possesses the innate potential to achieve extraordinary feats. However, it is crucial to acknowledge that the path to becoming passion-struck is not for the faint-hearted; it necessitates unwavering dedication to self-improvement and a resolute pursuit of your own aspirations. Not everyone is suited for the journey of becoming passion struck, as it demands a high level of commitment and unwavering personal agency.

The likes of Marc Benioff are few and far between for a reason. Nevertheless, by embracing the principles contained in this book, you gain a methodology for making informed decisions that can propel your personal or business accomplishments to unprecedented heights. Embrace the power to reshape your narrative by cultivating and relentlessly pursuing your passion with unwavering determination and intentionality. Allow it to serve as the unyielding force that propels you forward every single day, infusing your life with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Embrace your passion, wield it as a compass in the pursuit of your dreams, and let its radiant light guide you towards a future brimming with purpose, accomplishment, and self-actualization. Like the leaders profiled in this book, I have succeeded and experienced personal breakthroughs, as well as had significant setbacks on other occasions. In the end, the measure of our lives is determined by the choices we make. They are intrinsic to our ability to face the future and stay steadfast in our resolve to recognize our why and live intentionally.

As I’ve said before, when all is said and done, your life’s work leaves an indelible mark on your legacy.

It’s up to you to decide how much you care.

My resolute motto is simple yet powerful:Make a choice, make it happen, and work every day intentionally towards whatever that goal is. Step into the sharp edges, do something that scares you, don’t pull away, and don’t overthink.

Imagine what our world would look like without leaders willing to make decisions, step forward into the unknown, and intentionally decide that fear wouldn’t stop them. It is through the visionary actions and transformative mindset of our world’s greatest thinkers and industry trailblazers that momentous movements and inspirations have been birthed. How did they achieve such awe-inspiring feats? By orchestrating a profound shift in both their mindset and behavior. Will fear arise with sharpened blades ready to attack? Absolutely. While it is normal to be afraid even when we feel ready, when we face our fears with passion, perseverance, and intentionality, we will see that there really wasn’t much to fear.

At the beginning of this chapter, I asked you to write down the most significant fear(s) that keep you from realizing your dream. Now I ask you: Will you allow your fears to stop you, or will you face and overcome them?

Remember, the greatest gifts we have to offer are our chosen impacts on the world, loved ones, and ourselves, and we must not allow anything to stop us from giving them.