Heart Strings

Intro

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I had no idea what I was doing, which was utterly ridiculous considering everything I was doing was everything I had asked for. I thought I knew what would make my life feel complete, but as it turned out, I had no clue what would make me happy, and all it took was for me to get what I wanted. It was scary to get what you wanted because then it was up to you to succeed in it and make it work. But instead of pouring my heart into it all, I felt frozen. I felt as if my heart needed rewiring because the strings were worn and ready to snap.

“You got the job.”

But was it the right job?

“I like you, Nicole, and I’ve always been attracted to you.”

But did you know the real me?

Everything was changing, and I thought I had some control over the changes, but trying to keep up and ahead of them was like trying to stop sound. It was like trying not to fall in love.

Some things you couldn’t plan for, and some things you shouldn’t plan for. You just had to go along and ad-lib your way through. You just had to follow your heart.

I had no idea what I was doing, but maybe it wasn’t about knowing. It was about trust. For a long time, I didn’t trust myself, and maybe I still didn’t, which was why I kept choosing the wrong things for myself and doubting the right things.

I could only hope that I recognised what was right before I reacted as I usually would and pushed it, or him, away because of my insecurities.

I could only hope that my heartstrings could withstand the strain before I lost everything that I had worked so hard for.

Who was I kidding? I needed to do more than just hope. After all, hope was what got me into this mess to begin with. I needed to believe. I needed to trust. I needed to figure out what I wanted before it was too late.

Verse 1

Progression

“So, how are we looking?” My best friend, Noah West, asked.

It was Saturday night at Crescent, South Coast’s hottest bar, and Noah was about to go back on stage with his two brothers. He was an incredible musician. In fact, all the West boys were. Noah was the youngest out of the three of them, with Jude as the oldest and Elijah in the middle.

“We’re looking like we should probably throw a housewarming party soon because this fortnight is likely going to be our last,” I said. “We can just make rent, but how crazy are you about eating?”

He chuckled. “Bugger. I shouldn’t have bought those guitar strings on Wednesday.”

“You needed them, though. You needed them for tonight.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, but considering you had your shifts cut down at Clair de Lune, it was probably the worst week to splurge.”

I frowned. “Well, losing shifts at the café wasn’t ideal, but we still need to figure out how we’re going to continue living where we are. I mean, I could get a loan or ask my mum for money, but I really don’t want to have to do that.”

“No, don’t do that,” he answered, and his nose wrinkled. “Um, well, maybe we should try and find another roommate.”

“Who? Noah, I don’t want a stranger in my space.”

“Well, me neither, but what’s the alternative? We’re in struggle town without a map. We can’t afford it alone.”

“Can’t afford what alone?” Elijah asked, sliding in between us.

I straightened and stopped breathing. From the moment I’d met Noah’s brother Elijah, I had a dumb crush on him. I’d even gone as far as to write a note to tell him a couple of years ago, but instead of making him notice me, he had ignored me ever since. After that, he began dating a girl called Alyssa, but they broke up about two months ago. That was around the same time that Noah and I decided to move in together. The frostiness between Elijah and I hadn’t improved much, but I had noticed that he at least looked at me now. He still didn’t talk to me directly, though. So for that reason, I didn’t bother answering his question. I knew that it was aimed at Noah.

“Nic and I can’t afford our place,” Noah replied, running his hands through his brown curls. “Well, beyond the next two weeks.”

Elijah nodded, causing his dark brown hair to fall in front of his eyes. “So you’re looking for a roommate?”

“No, well, Nicole doesn’t want to,” Noah said. “But it’s either that or we find a smaller place.”

“It’s already small, Noah,” I sighed. “We only have two bedrooms, so whoever we got would have to bunk with one of us.”

Elijah frowned. “You guys don’t share a room? That’s weird.”

“We’re not a couple, Eli,” Noah answered. “You know that.”

“Whatever. Well, ask someone you know who can put up with you, bro.”

Noah rolled his chestnut-coloured eyes. “Like who?”

“Me. I need a new place. My lease is about to expire, and my landlord is upping the rent. I’ve been looking, but unless I can find a place, I’ll be homeless as of next week,” Elijah said. “And, hey, if you don’t want me to share with you, bro, I can sleep on the couch.”

Noah’s eyebrows lifted hopefully. “Nic, what do you think?”

Elijah glanced at me, and I tensed.

“I think… Your set is about to start. Jude is waving frantically,” I replied, smiling and waving back. “Go and do your thing.”

“Ah, crap. Okay,” Noah said. “To be continued.”

“Break a leg.”

Noah pressed his index finger to my nose and slipped away. Elijah looked at me and smiled, and I nearly fell off the stool.

“Hey, Nicole,” a voice said. “Long time no see.”

I turned as Mason wrapped his arm around me and hugged me from behind. Mason and I worked together at Clair de Lune, the little French café I worked at not far from here. He’d always been flirty, but I’d never reciprocated. I hadn’t particularly discouraged him either, which was probably why he felt confident enough with the public hugging.

“Hey,” I replied, clearing my throat. “What’s happening, Mason?”

“You’re so darn cute.” He smiled. “Are you here alone?”

“No, I’m here with Noah.”

Mason looked up and nodded. “But you’re alone now.”

“As alone as you can be in a crowded pub.”

He sat down beside me. “Can I get you a drink?”

“No, thanks.”

The band started playing as Jude struck the first chord, then Noah joined in on the drums, and Elijah started on bass guitar. The music was loud, and I welcomed it. I didn’t mind hanging out with Mason, but he had the power to make things go from zero to awkward in nanoseconds.

“Dance with me,” he said into my ear, proving to me that he could still achieve awkward with a backing track.

I shook my head. “I’m good.”

“Come on. I love this song.”

“I’d prefer to listen.”

He rolled his eyes, grabbed my hand, and pulled me off my seat. It irked me, but I couldn’t do anything but be dragged. He reached for my other hand and moved them back and forth to make me dance. I didn’t add any enthusiasm to the movement.

“Mason, I don’t want to,” I shouted over the music.

“Just one song, Nicole.”

I pulled my hands away and started dancing on my own terms. I wished that someone else was here to be the buffer between us, but that person was too busy creating the music.

I ended up staying on the dance floor for the entire set because someone had swooped in and taken my spot at the bar as soon as I was up. I didn’t really mind since I loved the music that Noah and his brothers played. I just hated that it was under Mason’s terms that I had lost it.

The set thrummed to an end as Noah threw his drumsticks in the air and caught them before hitting the kit with a final crash. The beat rolled through me like a roar of thunder, and then I felt myself being lifted by Mason. He spun me around and dropped me back on the floor as if I was a Lego piece in his collection.

“Mason, cut it out,” I groaned.

He just laughed.

“Thank you,” Elijah said. His voice echoed through the speakers after the encore. “We are Damage Control. Thank you all for having us. Good night!”

The crowd at Crescent erupted in applause, cheering as Noah stood with his drumsticks in hand. His brothers removed their guitar straps from over their shoulders and stepped sideways towards the edge of the stage. The lights above them faded as the DJ began playing a generic set of dance songs without missing a beat.

“Hey, Nic!” Noah called.

He tucked his drumsticks into the back pocket of his jeans and gestured me over backstage. I began weaving my way through the drunken dancers and then climbed through the side curtain.

“Hey, thanks for the save,” I said.

He frowned as he removed the top from his water. “Mason’s still a bit full-on?”

“Just a bit.” I sighed. “He won’t stop.”

“Well, tell him to back off.”

“I tried.”

“Did you use those words?”

I bit my lip. “I tried, but he looked so sad.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous, Nic.”

I didn’t disagree. “Great set, though. Better than the first, I think.”

He ran his hand through his curls. “I stuffed up the breakdown on the second song.”

“Really? I didn’t even notice, and I’ve heard that song a million times.”

“I noticed,” Elijah said from behind. “Distracted were you, brother?”

Noah pushed Elijah in the side, and Jude chuckled as he tried to tuck a blonde curl behind his ear. It sprang back out since his hair wasn’t long enough.

“Good to see you up dancing, Nicole,” he said. His phone chimed, and he pulled it from his pocket and frowned. “Crap. Do you guys mind if I bail? Chelsea isn’t well, and I need to get home.”

“Sure, bro, go,” Noah said. “Eli, Nic, and I can take care of things.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Jude said as he picked up his guitar cases. I had major envy over Jude’s guitars – a Studio Faded Les Paul and a Hummingbird Acoustic guitar. They were magnificent.

“Give Chelsea my love,” I replied. “Tell her I’ll call her soon to do lunch.”

Jude smiled. “I’m sure she’d love that. Thanks, everyone. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

Elijah waved, and Noah nodded. Jude had been with Chelsea for longer than I’d known Noah, which was just over three years now. Noah and I had met at university and become instant friends. We got closer as the years went on, and after we both graduated uni last year, we kept in touch. Noah was super close to his brothers, but since Elijah hardly spoke to me, I got along better with Jude. Noah tended to bring me along to anything they did together, so I had grown to be good friends with Chelsea too. Elijah brought Alyssa for a while, but the two usually kept to themselves unless Elijah was jamming with his brothers. The three boys were the only family each other had, so they were as tight as any brothers I’d ever known. It was just a shame that, for a while, Elijah had been distracted by Alyssa. He seemed a lot happier now that he spent more time with Noah and Jude. The only downside to that was that I felt a bit excluded whenever he was around, but at least if Chelsea was there, I had company, even if he always made an effort to include her.

I looked over as Elijah packed his white Gibson Les Paul back into its case and then moved to put Noah’s Green Gibson SG electric guitar away too. Noah was busy dismantling his drum kit.

“Hey,” Elijah said. I wasn’t really paying attention, so it took me a moment to realise that he was talking to me. “Hey, Nicole.”

“Huh?” I asked. “I mean, yes? Me?”

“Yeah, you.” He smirked, and a piece of straight dark-brown hair fell over his chestnut-brown eyes. “Are you going to make yourself useful?”

I pointed at myself. “Uh, sure, what would you…? What can I do?”

He nodded towards Noah. “Help with the cymbals.”

“I can take one of the guitars out to the car,” I said.

Noah’s old navy Mustang GT was parked in the back lot and was accessible from the back of the stage.

Elijah stepped back and lifted his hands. “Be my guest.”

I walked forward and leant over to pick up Noah’s guitar. It had been a while since I’d carried one, and it was a lot heavier than I remembered. My shoulder jerked, and I groaned. Elijah exhaled and reached for the handle, then headed out towards the car.

“Go and help Noah,” he said over his shoulder. “Cymbals are lighter.”

I stumbled back and brushed my hand where his skin had touched mine. He had never been that close to me before, and it was a little dizzying. I took a breath and turned towards Noah, but it looked like everything was already packed and ready to go into the car.

“Let me give you a hand,” I said to him.

“I’ve got this, Nic,” he replied, jumping off the stage with his stool. “Do you want to go and order us drinks? Get Max to put it on our tab.”

I laughed. “I really hope he never asks us to pay that tab.”

“At least not this week,” Noah agreed. “Coke for me, please.”

I nodded. “Got it. Um, Elijah, can I get you anything?”

He looked up. “No, thanks.”

Noah pressed his lips together. “I’ll be out in a bit, Nic. Thanks.”

I stepped out from behind the curtain and cursed internally when Mason’s eyes lit up. I weaved my way through the sweaty bodies to where he stood by the bar.

“Where did you disappear to?” he asked. “I turned around, and you’d vanished.”

“Yeah, Noah needed help.”

He looked away. “So, can I get you a drink?”

“I can get my own. I need to order Noah one too.” I waved at Max, and he walked over. “Hey, Max. Can I get a Coke and a Malibu and pineapple? Thanks.”

“So, what are you up to tomorrow?” Mason asked. “Anything fun planned?”

I shrugged. “Not sure yet.”

“We could see a movie. I’ll even let you pick. How about I come and get you at, say, midday?”

Max put the drinks down on the bar. “On the tab?”

“Thanks, Max.”

“No worries, Nicole. Enjoy.”

I picked up my Malibu and took a sip. “Listen, Mason, I just don’t know if tomorrow is going to work.”

“But you just said that you don’t have any plans tomorrow.”

I took a breath that got caught in my throat as Elijah stepped up beside me. He leant in to kiss my cheek and took the drink from my hand.

“Thanks, babe,” he said, taking a sip. “Did someone mention tomorrow?”

I blinked and was frozen.

“Nic is busy tomorrow. She’s helping me move into her house,” Elijah continued. “Sorry, buddy.”

Mason looked between Elijah and me and then sighed.

“Another time then, Nicole. I’ll see you at work Monday,” he said.

“Bye, um, bye, Mason,” I murmured.

My eyes moved to Elijah, and he smiled at Mason then turned his back on him.

“This drink, by the way, is bloody awful,” he said. “It’s so sweet. How can you drink it?”

“What, um…” I shook my head. “What the hell was that?”

He smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“For what?”

“For getting that guy to back off.”

I rubbed my cheek. It still burnt from his kiss. “I didn’t need your help. I was handling it.”

“You were being handled, Nicole,” he sighed. “Why don’t you just tell him that you’re not interested?”

“I have but… it’s complicated,” I mumbled. “But what was that about moving in? You’re not, I mean, we haven’t decided anything.”

Elijah rolled his eyes. “I’m just trying to help you. Why are you too proud to accept it?”

“I didn’t ask for your help, Elijah. Why would I ask you for anything when you never even talk directly to me?”

Elijah frowned in confusion, and I held his stare. I started to melt into his chestnut eyes, so I was relieved when Noah stepped between us to reach for his Coke.

“Thanks, Nic,” he said. “What did I miss?”

I shook my head and gulped the rest of my drink, then put the glass on the bar.

“Nothing, I… did you tell him that he could move in with us?” I asked.

Noah glanced at his brother. “We probably need to talk. Let’s go into the front bar. It’s too loud in here.”

Noah took my hand and dragged me through the crowd. When we got to the front bar, the atmosphere was a little easier to breathe in. It also was much easier to hear.

“Okay, so, what were you saying?” Noah asked.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea for Elijah to move in with us,” I murmured.

“Why not?”

My eyebrow lifted. “You have to ask?”

“Well, yeah,” he said. “He’s my brother, and he won’t be in our way. He needs a place, and we need help with rent. Besides, you two get along okay, right?”

“Define get along.”

Elijah stepped up to the table, and I leant back from Noah.

“So, guess who I just met."