Mark Rasmussen

Overall, I liked the pages. What struck me most was the protagonist's inner conflict and his struggle to reconcile his sense of guilt and obligation to his wife with his need to find peace and happiness. The description of his father's abuse and the lack of male role models in his life was also powerful and added depth to his character. You did a great job of conveying the emotion of the scene and it was easy to empathise with the protagonist and understand his motivations.

I felt like I was right there in the wintery cold, leaving someone behind. The prose feels remarkably like a memoir; you've pulled off the first person well. Also, it's refreshing to hear your character take credit for his own inability to be there for another. It has an "On the Road" feel but richer with the inner world of your character displayed so rawly.

Fast-moving, yet captivating story. Character building is excellent. First-person narration enhances the impact of storytelling. Well-chosen, well played!

You did a really good job of placing me in the mind of your protagonist. The conflict that was a fundamental feature of the extract felt authentic. Well written with a great sense of place and inner turmoil.