Derek Nelson

Barry and the Zoggleborgs

Barry is a little guy who lives just down the street,

He stands there on the corner with six toes on his feet.

His head is shaped like a moon crowned with a feather hat,

He has no neck to speak of and his nose is rather flat.

Some folk tease and jeer him while others rudely stare,

And some cross the road to pass him and pretend he isn’t there.

With his googly eyes and bugle ears he may look out of place,

Yet there he stands every day with a smile upon his face.

See Barry has a secret, although he stands alone,

He is the greatest hero the world has ever known.

Every night when lights go out and you are in your bed,

Alien invaders land from the planet Dread.

Donning cape and saucepan Barry leads the fight,

Against the dreaded Zoggleborgs he battles through the night.

The Zoggleborgs are ten feet tall with three arms on each side,

Instead of hands they’ve razor claws as long as they are wide.

Their skin is thick and scaly their snouts are long and black,

Their jaws are lined with fangs to chew their favourite midnight snack.

Four zoggles wobble on their heads between their massive ears,

Their bulging eyes of fire glow with molten lava tears.

Their pointed tails with armoured scales are made to smash through rock,

If a Zoggleborg is at your door pray he doesn’t knock.

Stomping up and down the street the Zoggleborgs hunt for food,

They only eat the people who’ve been naughty, bold, or rude.

It doesn’t matter who’s rich or poor, young, old, short, or tall,

The meanies and the bullies make the nicest dish of all.

Their feet look like giant pizzas that slap upon on the ground,

Barry knows the Zoggleborgs roam wherever he hears the sound.

While you’re snug in your bed dreaming pleasant dreams,

The reason you’re not Zoggleborg lunch is Barry and his team.

Barry leads an infantry of the bravest mice and rats,

With a cavalry of dog hounds and an air-force made of cats.

Shooting lightning from their eyes the Zoggleborgs attack,

With trash can shields and pitchfork steel Barry fires back.

‘To me’ roars Barry fearlessly and if you hear him roar,

It means the alien Zoggleborgs are right outside your door.

Fierce and large the Zoggleborgs charge at Barry and his band,

His army know the masterplan and await Barry’s command.

With swinging claws and snapping jaws the Zoggleborgs advance,

Barry blocks and parries until he sees his chance.

Then he gives the signal to spring his clever trap,

Trash can shields collide with a noise like thunderclap.

He dashes down a dark alley to the sound of crashing steel,

The Zoggleborgs chase after him hoping for a meal.

The dog hounds nip at the Zoggleborgs heels and growl and howl and bark,

The Zoggleborgs try to squash them stamping wildly in the dark.

Cats leap from trees and rooftops attacking from the skies,

They tie their zoggles into knots and rub cats-hair in their eyes.

The Zoggleborgs spin with swiping claws as the battle rages,

Barry meets them strike for strike a hero of the ages.

For the final act of his attack, he calls his troops to rally.

The mice and rats link mouth to tail right across the alley.

The cats and dogs join Barry and make as if to run,

The Zoggleborgs see them flee and together charge as one.

But the Zoggleborgs are very big and the vermin very small,

So, they don’t see the rodent-rope stretched from wall to wall.

First, they stumble then they tumble falling in the street,

And the dogs and cats and mice and rats start tickling their feet.

Plucking a feather from his hat Barry joins his friends,

As this was in his masterplan for how the battle ends.

The Zoggleborgs shake with giggles as they lay there in a heap,

Coz tickles make them giggle and giggles make them sleep.

From pizza foot to pizza foot, they tickle heel to toe,

Till the giggles turn to snores from their snoozing vanquished foe.

The Zoggleborgs curl in a ball each one sleeping tight,

A Dread-ship hovers in the sky and shines a beam light.

Barry’s team stare at the beam and watch the Zoggleborgs soar,

Floating in the beam of light and through the Dread-ships’ door.

As first light breaks the Dread-ship shakes and blasts to outer-space,

Barry strolls home happily a smile upon his face.

He’s saved the world from Zoggleborgs, a super job well done,

They’ll fight again tomorrow night but for now the battle’s won.

So next time you pass Barry instead of being rude,

Just be grateful you’re not a plateful of Zoggleborg’s favourite food.

And when people seem a little strange, please do keep in mind,

They might be super-heroes so treat them extra kind.

By Derek Nelson