A helpful guide to motivate one’s pursuit of activities

Genre
Have you ever wondered why to pet a cat? Why to have sex? Why to fall in love? Why to live? Why to die? Have you ever accidentally put an empty carton of juice back in the fridge even though it was empty? My book completely lacks the answers to these questions and more, but not for a lack of trying.

[Before you begin, it's necessary to note that my book features some unique formatting in which new sections interrupt the sections being read.]

why-to: a short and helpful guide to motivate one’s pursuit of activities

either

a.) previously not pursued

or

b.) pursued so regularly that no one knows or remembers why they’re doing them in the first place.

0.0 INTRODUCTION

0.1.0 Beginnings

0.1.1 Why-to why-to:

Life is the strangest thing around. When you’re born, you wake up in a world already at work—dropped onto a treadmill in motion. You learn how to carry out all sorts of tasks and develop all sorts of skills, but the reasons for learning those things are often lost in the mix. Pretty soon, you find yourself performing a range of activities without a clue as to why you’re performing them. You live a life without any reason as to why you are living it.

In many ways, this may be the reason people are taken advantage of. Advertisers sell you things by fabricating “whys”: you need to buy this product because it will make you prettier, which will make people like you more, which will make you happy. By giving you a “why”, people, organizations, governments, and corporations can convince you to do things that may be more beneficial to them than they are to you.

Throughout the sections of this guide, you’ll find examples of a given why-to subject from my own life written in italics and, although I, the author, am providing the “whys” in this collection, I am no expert on the subject. Hopefully, these individual accounts will help illustrate the why-to in a specific scenario, rather than in more general terms, so that you can connect to it on a personal level. It is important, then, to develop your own reasons for doing the things that you do. And, as you begin to ask yourself what the point of anything is, you’ll start to distinguish the activities that are really worthwhile in your life from what you’ve been doing for no reason all of these years.

0.1.2 Why-to read a why-to guide from this author:

As a professional guide writer and tour guide for nearly twenty years, I have a good deal of experience in the trade. The majority of my work has been in the form of travel guides, but I’ve also written how-tos (which I now loathe), cultural directories, weekend event highlights for local newspapers and I have also served as an escort for foreign visitors in South America. So, you’ll find that I’m comfortable with the format and, hopefully, can provide readers with an interesting approach to handbooks such as this one.

1.0 PET OWNERSHIP AND OTHER ACTIVITIES

1.1.0 Cats

1.1.1 Why-to begin with cats:

This collection will begin with a discussion of cats. One might ask, “why begin with cats?” I thought I’d begin with something relatively simple that almost anyone could relate to. Though you may not personally have an opinion about cats, you will probably be able to relate to the topic and may even be able to understand why anyone would have an opinion about them after reading it.

On a personal note, cats have played a major role in my life and development. My whole life, I’ve had cats as pets. My family even had up to five at one point. I was named after my mom’s childhood pet, Michael Cattington, and my first word was “meow”. If you create your own collection of why-tos, you can begin with any topic of your choosing.

1.1.2 Why-to wonder why-to own cats:

When I see a house cat, someone’s pet, I’m often at a loss for how that creature was made. It’s so small, yet has the will of one of the big cats of the animal kingdom. The cat could easily be taken out of the home, made forty times larger, and placed in the savanna to hunt wildebeests. But, through selective breeding, these ferocious hunters have been made into small, harmless companions. What could possibly explain this surreal turn of events?

1.1.3 Why-to own cats (in the Stone Age):

The earliest known examples of cat domestication are from the Neolithic era, the Stone Age, around 10,000 years ago. They’ve been depicted on pottery and their remains have been found interred with the buried bodies of humans from that time period. In early settlements, cats were most likely used to catch the mice and rats that certainly infested supplies of grain kept by people.

And human beings, with a tendency to seek connections in their surroundings, saw these commensal domesticates as, perhaps, having a divine purpose. We can easily imagine a Stone Age human, living a meek and brutal life with the spark of consciousness just peeking through a murky haze of basic, reflexive awareness. We can see that person developing alongside a cat, a warm network of tender fur and limbs—perhaps the only comfort in an otherwise painfully bare, Stone Age existence—and we imagine that individual endowing the cat with a divinity, for these creatures reacted to human behavior; their eyes tracked the movements of human hands, mysterious tails drifting this way and that. Reasonably, the eyes of cats were most likely thought of as the eyes of a god that determined whether or not this Neolithic person would live or die. For people in that time period would certainly get sick or never return from a hunt, murdered by a ravenous predator. Maybe they’d simply starve or freeze to death. Though the concept of the nuclear family was far from being created, Stone Age humans had to have some feelings of grief in those circumstances, some pain associated with loss. And there must have been confusion, a great deal of confusion. Bewildered screams were hurled in all directions and rough hands grabbed at thick tufts of hair on the tops of heads. Early humans panged for an explanation of who would die when. Naturally, they turned to their enigmatic associates. By deeming the cats gods, the Neolithic humans brought order to chaos, life, and death. Cat ownership became a religious ritual, for worshipping them might limit suffering in the present world or ensure safe passage to the afterlife. Consequently, we see the gods of early religions depicted with these animal forms.

1.1.3, A. Why-to own cats (for esoteric reasons):

In Tuesday Lobsang Rampa’s Living with the Lama, Rampa’s cat, Mrs. Fifi Greywhiskers, is said to be writing the book herself. She narrates her journey starting as an abused housecat purchased as an act of conspicuous consumption by a wealthy socialite up through the end of her life as an aging and cared for member of Rampa’s family. Throughout the story, Mrs. Fifi Greywhiskers references esoteric practices such as astral projection and telepathy. She has the ability to actually penetrate the mind of her owners and speak universal truths about life. Whether or not Rampa’s cat actually could do these things or was even capable of writing the book, the tale does present some interesting possibilities. More importantly, it illustrates the importance of treating animals with love and decency. Not just because they may possess magical powers, but because they, too, are living creatures trying to survive this unending nightmare called “life.”

But a lot of time has passed since this initial domestication process. Aside from the occasional Wiccan, most human beings no longer worship cats or attribute much of a divine purpose to their creation. There must be something else about the lasting and ubiquitous trend of cat ownership that suggests other non-religious, yet very legitimate, reasons for taking part in just such a historically relevant activity. Let’s think about it.

1.1.4 Why-to own cats (in the modern era):

Any cat owner living in the countryside or a tropical rain forest will state the obvious fact that cats can eliminate pests, such as rats, snakes, and insects. But, cats are also often found in urban and suburban environments where toxic roach spray is plentiful and snakes are seldom seen. Anyone in the latter situation can tell you that the reason for this is that cats make excellent companions.

Their independence allows you to neglect them or obtain affection from them whenever you want. They’re not needy like dogs; apart from feeding and some small amount of diversion, petting is all they really require to maintain a state of contentment. They look cute when they’re asleep and intriguing when they’re awake—a permanent smile fixed to their faces. Nothing much is more adorable than a very young kitten. And their predatory nature makes them smarter and more interesting than rabbits or some other, more docile pet option. They also lick themselves clean so that you don’t have to.

1.1.5 Why-to pet cats:

Pet a cat, paying particular attention to its response, and you’ll begin to appreciate its existence. A cat is small and specific cats will crawl gently into your lap. You can easily read a book or watch television while simultaneously drawing affection from your furry friend—scratching a finger beneath its chin and behind its ears, feeling the vibrations of its purring beneath your hand, making their way up to your brain, and tightrope walking along the spindles there. The tactile sensation is pleasant, but more enjoyable is the affectionate reaction an animal gives to your touch. This direct positive response to your hand is a simple sign of gratitude from the cat. It is a signal to you that you exist and do good things in the world. The affection and pleasure is, then, mutual and relatively easy to achieve.

Though I’m quite familiar with the species from the several guides I’ve written on the subject of cat ownership—Cats 101, Cats for All Owner Types, and How-to Groom Cats—I can personally attest to the pleasures of cat ownership. I have no elaborately carved or smelted idols dedicated to the species, but throughout my parents’ home in the Chicago suburbs, there are plush replicas of Siamese cats that pay homage to my childhood pet, Ralph. At this age in my life, it’s difficult to determine whether or not Ralph really was all that special, but to my child’s mind, he seemed to possess a strong aura. Gingerly walking on kitten socks and mittens, he’d approach purring loudly and graze his face against my own.

Though he’d occasionally pester me for attention, he was also very self-reliant. He’d leave the house for an entire day and return at his leisure. And, after witnessing the prizes of a few of his hunts, I could only assume that he’d most likely caught his fair share of mice and birds during that time out in the wilderness of suburbia. When he wasn’t out fending for himself, he was in, stealing fish off our dinner table. He’d also gotten into a number of scraps with local strays, eventually yielding him the infection in one eye that led to an eye removal surgery and the permanent image in my mind of Ralph as a one-eyed kitty pirate sailing the high kitty seas.

Of course, these stories of my childhood friend have less of an impact on you than they do on me. Surely you, too, have your own stories of pets that left an impression on you. For me, it’s difficult not to think of him now. I can’t seem to remove the idea from my head that Ralph and I had an ethereal connection—that cats and I share some cosmic bond of lightning green and yellow.

1.2.0 Dogs

1.2.1 Why-to compare cats and dogs:

Cats can seem like ideal company at times, but their status as the paragon of pets cannot be established until they’ve been compared with other animals. The most obvious other contender for best pet is, of course, the dog. Known as “man’s best friend,” the dog is actually well-enjoyed by nearly all genders. In fact, the oldest record of the practice of dog ownership dates much farther back than cat domestication to over 12,000 years ago.

1.2.1, A. Why-to consider the perception of the scope of time in relation to the domestication of cats and dogs:

I realize that, if you consider the whole history of the Earth, from whenever it began to whenever it ends, then, from the perspective of the Earth itself, the difference between ten and twelve thousand years ago isn’t all that big.

From a human perspective, the difference between those two numbers would—well, it would depend on the particular human. Given that the life expectancy of those living in less developed nations is about fifty years old—that is to say, “developed” in terms of some governmental definition of success—the contrast between those two figures might not be important because fifty years is only time enough to pursue so many activities and archaeological studies of the original domestication of animals might not be at the very top of the list. And, if you factor in the sweeping AIDS epidemic, which would make the life expectancy of someone in Botswana closer to something more like 39.7 years old, the gap between when dogs were first domesticated and when cats were first domesticated probably doesn’t seem all that large. In terms of the life expectancy in more developed countries, which is about 76 years of age, the difference between 10,000 and 12,000 years ago could seem like a lot. That two thousand year gap is about 26.3 lifetimes and you can only imagine the number of activities that could be pursued in that amount of time. So, from that perspective, the fact that dogs were integrated into human society before cats may well factor into your decision of whether or not to own them.

In any case, if you live to be 76, 50, or 39.7, an understanding about where certain cultural practices emerge can better inform you about your present world so that you can pursue activities with more gusto and, potentially, get more out of the activities when you are pursuing them. You might even gain some insight into what factors influence your reality and limit your life expectancy to 39.7 years old or extend it to 76. One of the many cultural practices to consider, then, is why-to own dogs.

It’s possible that the pack mentality of dogs made them easier to train, receiving and reacting to human social cues much more easily than other species. Perhaps they were used to help people hunt other animals in the Mesolithic era and a symbiotic relationship grew between people and these small, non-threatening wolves. Either way, the fact that dogs are pack animals gives rise to a number of advantages that they have as pets.

The natural instincts of canines have been capitalized upon by humans so that dogs are used the world over to herd sheep, pull loads, and protect the lives and property of people. And as the relationship between domestic dogs and humans grows more intricately entwined, dogs have even entered the human workforce, acting as military or law enforcement agents and by aiding the disabled. Though they are not rewarded with human currency, forced into a highly competitive job market and pitted against one another to make ends meet, they are paid with food, shelter, and the companionship of their human employers.

Dogs offer the same tactile benefits as cats, but they’re more interactive. You can play with a dog for hours and they’ll go on runs with you so that you’re not exercising alone. The little ones are easy to manage and the big ones can drag you around and give you something to wrestle with. They are easily entertained by the same repetitive task of retrieving a thrown ball. If you stare at a dog while it engages in tug of war, chasing its tail, playing fetch, or barking at a speck of light, you may begin to absorb the canine’s own simplicity of mind. Through wondering about the pleasure that the dog receives, life’s activities become reduced to a simple equation of reward and punishment, cause and effect. “Goodness” is defined by whether or not a behavior will result in food or a hearty pat on the back and “badness” is whether or not the result is a harsh, loud tone emanating from the master’s mouth or a sharp snap on the nose from a human information transmitter, a newspaper or gossip periodical. The dog is happy as long as it is active and, as long as all physical needs are met, the dog is only sad when it is bored. This mindset, when extrapolated to human endeavors, can teach you a lot about how human happiness can be achieved and, so, can be quite a valuable learning tool and investment for you as a dog owner.

1.2.1, B. Why-to own dogs (for educational reasons):

Pavlov used the dog’s reactions to reward and punishment as a means of researching the learning mechanisms of the mind, simultaneously ringing a bell while feeding the animals so that the dogs came to associate the sound of the bell with food. Soon, the dogs would salivate in response to the bell without any food present whatsoever, demonstrating to the world that learning can take place without conscious awareness and that there are times when our own actions seem entirely out of our control.

Though cats can certainly give you a sense of belonging to this Universe, you might classify their independence as “indifference” and such a label can leave you with a sense of rejection when they don’t need you to be around. Dogs, on the other hand, need the pack to survive. This loyalty to the pack not only reflects a practical benefit to dog ownership, but also fulfills an emotional role so that a dog enjoys your presence and misses it when it’s gone, creating in you a strong sense of importance and interdependence.

Having never owned a dog in adulthood, I’ve never quite cracked the dog manual market. There was one dog that inspired a brief guide I wrote as a child for my own sense of satisfaction, however. Her name was Helen, a German Shepherd, and she was a gift to my brother Abe one Christmas. She seemed to have a stronger emotional attachment to our family than any of our cats did. Of course, our cats relied on us for food and affection, but with Helen, there was a human quality to her emotions. During those intense Midwestern thunderstorms, she’d desperately bark at my door, pounce on it, trying to open it. When she finally thrashed the door open, Helen would crawl into my bed in fear. While the family went on vacations, we’d leave her only to be intermittently walked and fed by a family friend. Upon our return home, she’d pounce on us with true joy. This brief transpecies connection would soon be ruined when we’d find that she’d torn apart our furniture out of distress at our departure When my brother would beat me up, naturally, I would cry and, at the sound of my sobs, Helen would run into the room, bark at Abe, and lick the tears off of my face. I remember that I even started to feign emotional distress just so that I could trick her into attacking my brother. When she eventually understood the ruse, that I wasn’t actually in any danger, she stopped coming to my rescue when I cried genuine tears. This is both the saddest and most literal account of “the boy who cried wolf” that I can think of to date.

1.3.0 Music

1.3.1 Why-to listen to music:

Considering the innumerable music reviews I’ve put out, I can think of plenty of songs someone might not like, but I’m hard pressed to think of a person who doesn’t like music altogether. It’s been around since the beginning and it comes in all forms in all cultures so there’s got to be a reason for it. Maybe we should dissect the process of the first time you listen to a song:

The very first thing you might do when listening to a song you’ve never heard before is decide whether you like it or not. This seems to be a backwards thing to do, but it’s basically what everyone does. Rather than digest the material, think about it for a bit, you impulsively decide whether it’s even worth listening to in the first place. After a song passes the threshold of tolerability, you may or may not “get into it”, which is essentially a way of saying “feel the rhythm and melody” of a song. Then, you might listen to the lyrics and decide whether they resonate with you, have a complex meaning, or what-have-you. If they do, you might analyze the song’s meaning. If not, or if there are no lyrics, you might move on to the structure of the music itself: the layers of instrumentation and the various patterns of sound. Does the song have a mood and what is it, even if it’s a mood of neutrality?

Finally, you might consider the song’s context, which really isn’t a “finally” at all because the layers of context disperse endlessly into the ether of life. Some examples of a song’s context are:

-the song’s relation to the band’s history (how their style’s changed over time, how band members’ lives have changed)

-the musical genre’s history (the transformation of West African music to blues to jazz to rock ‘n’ roll to hip hop with all sorts of variations and vibrations throughout all of those indiscrete genre shifts)

-the political or social implications of a song’s existence in the moment that you’re listening to it or at the time of its initial creation (the forced migration of a large group of people to work tirelessly in the harshest of physical and emotional circumstances with only their indigenous cultural practices to carry them through the ordeal and, as that culture morphed with a gradual assimilation into the dominant society, the music transformed giving rise to new forms of music and new forms of rebellion against the dominant society, as evidenced in rock ‘n’ roll and hip hop

1.3.1., A. Why-to consider the political or social implications of a song’s existence in the moment that you are listening to it or at the time of its initial creation:

Listening to music can be a method of relaxation for a lot of people, but, at times, relaxation can be difficult to achieve upon consideration of the political or social implications of a song’s existence.

There’s been a lot of suffering in life and there continues to be a lot. So, when thinking about any type of thing, your mind might get drawn to some of the more negative causes of a given thing’s manifestation. Though such negative thinking might seem counterproductive, it can actually be seen as an ethical necessity in the pursuit of activities. For instance, you could listen to blues for the sound of the singer’s wailing and dwell on the existential implications of the music [that we all suffer and feel lonely], but you might overlook the history of profound physical and psychological suffering that the blues singer might be referring to in regards to a very specific portion of the human population: enslaved people and their descendants.

It’s good then to know that music is often created for specific political or social purposes. Songs of protest often utilize the mnemonic properties of a catchy rhythm or melody to communicate a message that will ingrain itself more deeply into a listener’s head.

Johnny Cash’s song “Man in Black”, for instance, protests the injustices suffered by the downtrodden in the United States, though the message could easily be applied to the downtrodden everywhere. Cash dresses in black when he performs as a reminder that the poor, the homeless, the imprisoned, the aged, and members of military service are often facing intolerable hardships while other, luckier members of society, enjoy their “streak of lightnin’ cars and fancy clothes”.

An awareness of the history of any given song shouldn’t necessarily drive you away from it or from the enjoyment of it, but it might give you a broader understanding of the music you listen to.

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-the history of the Universe (a Big Bang happening or not happening with the cosmos spilling out of nothingness and eventually creating human life on a small blue and green planet in the Milky Way with that human life creating music for some reason)

-your own personal history (the strong associations conjured up every time the album Marquee Moon by Television is played. It always reminds me of cruising the dirty streets of the city at night with the windows rolled down. And I first heard it with my best friend, Sam, on a road trip from Illinois to California, so there’s that memory associated with it, as well (see: why-to drive a car).

At that point, Sam and I were only just beginning to get to know each other. If our friendship was the birth of Christ, this would have occurred in 1 AD. After meeting through a friend, we seemed to get along. I talked too much and he too little. Plus, we were both from the Midwest and tried not to judge others too harshly, so it seemed like a good fit. So, I picked him up from Iowa on my way from Illinois to head to California, where we were going to be renting an apartment together. Though we came from different starting points on our journey, we shared the same destination.

Djing our route, Ben set the tone on an hourly basis. I remember him putting it on the car stereo for the first time and I was blown away.

1.3.1, B. Why-to like Marquee Moon:

The album begins boldly with “See No Evil”, which is an evocative title in itself as it alludes to either an inability to see evil on the part of the lyricist or a lack of evil in the world. Or maybe it’s an instruction to the listener to stop seeing evil. All of these ideas could potentially be highly controversial because many major belief systems and religions are founded on a firm distinction between the two, with good dictating how you should live your life and evil being what you should avoid. With that distinction erased, the very basis on which a society is structured is called into doubt and, so, the order brought about by society’s rules may fall apart into chaos.

1.3.1, B, i. Why-to structure a society on the basis of a distinction between good and evil:

Societies are complicated things. By its very definition, a society is composed of more than a couple of human beings and each human being is made up of more than a few biological systems in addition to a wide variety of emotions and thoughts formed by complex personal histories embedded in complex social histories, which are in turn embedded in complex cosmological histories. Rules, implicit or explicit, would then be a helpful way to make human life, despite all of the complexities, somewhat predictable.

Because human beings, as well as many other organisms, experience pain, which can be seen as a negative sensation, and pleasure, which can be generally agreed to be positive in nature, concepts like “good” and “bad” could be interpreted as an almost organic development in human history. Let’s imagine the dawn of human language. In order for early human beings to communicate vital information to one another, such as whether or not something edible was life-sustaining or life-threatening, noises could be conjured up to represent those concepts. A good piece of fruit would be one that promoted survival and a bad piece of fruit would be one that thwarted it.

From that, with all of the bloody wars, conquests, revolutions, and other forms of cultural and intellectual intermingling, human beings developed elaborate philosophies about the fundamental nature of goodness and badness. Though, ultimately, words like “good” and “evil” could help humans communicate very important ideas related to survival, whole societies would function in a somewhat organized manner if they had some general agreement as to what could be defined as good and evil.

That isn’t to say that the more brutal and cold-hearted members of society didn’t take advantage of this system of symbols called language in order to receive more pleasure than pain. In fact, one major reason to structure a society around concepts like good and evil would be for members of a society to control the whole thing, manipulating the its structure for their benefit by using definitions of good and evil to direct goodness their way.

1.3.1., B, i, a. Why-to advocate direct current over alternating current:

Businessman and inventor, Thomas Edison, was known for going to great and questionable lengths to advocate the use of direct electric current for powering electronics in the 19th Century. While the emerging technology of alternating current was just as capable, Edison refused to allow diversification into the electricity market so as to protect his great number of patents that relied on direct current. He even initiated a campaign in which he warned of the dangers of electrocution caused by alternating currents by electrocuting a circus elephant as a publicity stunt and claiming that it was as a result of using AC.

1.3.1, B, i, b, I. Why-to torture elephants to prove a point:

That wasn’t the last time an elephant would be used as a prop for the purposes of spreading disinformation. In 1962, UCLA professor Jolly West injected 7000-pound bull elephant Tusko with what he claimed was 297 mg of LSD in an attempt to induce a violent reaction from the beast. Instead, Tusko had a seizure and died. It is difficult to determine the exact cause of death because West then used equally large doses of Sparine to try to revive him. It was later uncovered that West, who was involved in such controversial court cases as those of Patty Hearst and Jack Ruby, performed LSD research for the CIA’s mind control project, MK ULTRA.

Interestingly enough, Edison united his business interests under one umbrella corporation, Edison General Electric which, after a merger with Thomson-houston Electric in 1892, became General Electric, one of the largest companies in the world.

On a sort of individual level, distinguishing between good and bad is what allows you to make your decisions efficiently. If you know that “robbing a bank” is bad, no matter what you based that reasoning on, you can streamline your decision-making process by simply pursuing activities that don’t include robbing a bank.

1.3.1, B, i, b. Why-to rob a bank:

If you don’t have any money and want to get some quick, robbing a bank might seem like a great solution.

You know, I used to dream of robbing a bank when I was growing up. I even drew up a brief handbook on how any other eight-year-old might do so. I didn’t really have any concrete plans to carry it out, but the idea of planning an elaborate scheme, eluding guards, and crossing the wires of security systems had an irresistible appeal. I can’t quite put my finger on what that appeal was linked to fundamentally.

“It’s Friday night,” a tweeny Michael might have said. “Want to try to spy on my neighbors? You move North and I’ll sneak around to the rear, on the South. Everyone take a map.”

We’d creep into backyards throughout the neighborhood and try to get a glimpse inside of the houses.

“Whoa!” my friend Noah might have said. “Did you see those people eating dinner?”

“Yeah!”

“Do you think they saw us?”

“Maybe!”

Things became slightly more high risk when we tested the lock on a garage door.

“Dude, open it!”

“You open it! I don’t want my fingerprints on the knob.”

“Use your shirt.”

A quiet turn of the handle and we were in—a dark, dank space filled with junk, bikes and a Cadillac.

“Maybe we can get into the house through that back door,” Noah said. One step toward the door and it flung open, a burly arm flicking the kit switch on and casting rays of shame on us as we bolted back out of our entrance and onto the street.

Out of breath and around the corner, I panted, “I don’t think we should do that anymore.”

“Me too.”

Surely there was a voyeuristic aspect to it, but there was something about not being seen that I really enjoyed. This is the same feeling of “pulling one over” that made me want to be a magician. Of course, I never robbed a bank and I have too much of a moral code to join the CIA, but I think that the desire to be mischievous will always be in my personality.

Other reasons to rob a bank include: wanting to get a taste of adventure because you’ve seen one too many movies, impressing a love or sex interest, or having a simple death wish.

Without conceptions of good and evil, however, the possibilities in life might become so numerous as to inhibit any ability to act.

More importantly than the title of “See No Evil”, is the powerful way that the lead guitar riff ropes you in. It’s throbbing almost. When the second guitar hits the stage, you can tell that this isn’t simple rock ‘n’ roll, but beds of intricate instrumental arrangements that weave in and out of one another. The songs continue with a consistency of style that gives the album a definite feel, a weight. Tom Verlaine’s eerie voice and mysterious lyrics create an emotion reminiscent of late nights, times when you’re alone even with other people and the world becomes an uncanny place. Along with the fast and powerful songs, you can hear slower, more delicate ballads such as “Guiding Light”, my personal favorite. The title track is an obvious masterpiece due to its troubling tone, long solos, and overall length.

Historically, the album is also very interesting. It came at a time when bands were moving away from classical rock ‘n’ roll songs about love towards complicated riffs and beats and lyrics that had more existential overtones or social commentary. Vocals became less about having a pleasing sound in favor of something that reflected the social malaise at the time. The band had one other album, I think, but it was easily overshadowed by Marquee Moon. And, because Television leaned towards elaborate instrumentals and obscure lyrics as opposed to short, catchy songs [like “I Wanna be Sedated” by the Ramones], they never became all that popular.

Personally, I feel a kinship with Tom Verlaine and the lyrics really resonate with me.

“Darling Darling

Do we part like the seas? The roaring shell...

The drifting of the leaves...

All intent

Remains unknown.

It's time to sit up

Up on the throne.”

I don’t necessarily know what the words mean. But there’s something about a song like “Guiding Light”—where you don’t know what life’s all about and it all seems so strange, but you know that it’s basically good. The song makes you feel at ease even in the midst of an eternal loneliness.

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-or even the feeling that the music creates in you because, unarguably, the best thing about listening to music is how it courses through you, (converting your thoughts into musical notes of red, blue, and violet and strumming your neurons, your nerves, gradually replacing them with something a little more suited to the environment and encasing you in protective gear. You can breathe a little easier in the thinning air and the staircase formed, though not entirely stable, is wholly reliable.

1.3.1, C. Why-to travel to the Moon:

Up on the moon, there’s this air—or this decrease in gravity. You can really fly up there, but you’ll never forget the ground, the thing that you continually bounce back down on and tells you that you’re going to want to go back up again. And, man, it’s wild up there. The stars, well, they’re closer to the Moon than they are to the Earth. Down on the Earth, they’re nothin’ but bright pinholes. On the Moon, you can make out the individual wisps of neon dust that fly off of the surfaces of stars. There are swirls and, as you jump higher and as the weight of gravity is pulled off of you more and more, you can gain enough height to escape the Moon’s atmosphere and go off into space.

1.3.1., D. Why-to travel to outer space:

That feeling you experienced on the Moon and that wonderful view you had of the Earth is multiplied exponentially out in space. The lack of any gravity makes you feel like you’ve never lived before, like everything up until this point has been phony.

People write about outer space a lot, but their descriptions are completely underwhelming in comparison to the actuality of being out there. Out in the depths of space, you encounter permutations of life that will delight your senses. Imagine a creature with semi-translucent skin that radiates a soft orange and pink light from its chest and emits a song that’s always right for the occasion directly from its consciousness into your own. When you touch the creature, it feels like the mold on a fallen tree. When you smell the creature, it smells like the tulip fields of Holland. When you finally hear the creature talk, it’s like a series of farts ranging in quality: airy farts, loud farts, and those little farts that sound like the barking of a dog. Then, when you fart, the creature confuses your anus for your mouth and your mouth for your anus and assumes that everything you say is shit, but that everything you fart is perfectly reasonable.

Imagine also the diverse landscapes that exist in outer space: planets with freezing tundra of purple frost, a planet coated in a mountain range made of shimmering crystals, another planet roiling with explosive gasses, and a laser planet.

Finally, out in space, you find life so intelligent that it answers all of your deepest questions, telling you exactly where life sprang from, where we’re all headed, and exactly how you should live.

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All in all, music is really worth getting into.

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