Yvette Naden

Ahh I want to know what happens next! I love your style of writing, very punchy and to the point. I would like to get in Harper's head a little bit more as far as whether she actually likes her sister or is she jealous/competing with her and that's why she takes over her life? I love what you've set up so far and know others would also love to read more!

Ooh this is very intriguing - great characterisation of Harper, the reader gets a sense of her very quickly and there's so much more going on with this family dynamic that I want to read more about them.

This is an excellent start to the story. You really get a clear sense of the family dynamics which can definitely create conflict through your story.

The family dynamics here are relatable in their light and shade, and there is an excellent ear for comedy, e.g. 'I’d been inexplicably invited and had inexplicably turned up.' The obliviousness of the mother in the Simon/Seo-jun mispronunciation was also good characterization. There is a freshness and daring to the descriptions, too, e.g. 'Dad slurped, his horse-like lips closing over the yellow bubbles.' A bold and engaging voice.