Under Your Nails

Red

I want a rose—

a foolish declaration of love.

I want a rose so red that,

should I crush it in my hand,

the petals,

mangled and bruised,

would seep and stain my fingers

a bloody crimson.

---

Uncaring

You paid no attention to my heart

as it latched itself onto you

with such devotion,

such mighty optimism.

---

No Finer Meal

He asked if he could eat me—

devour me with knife and fork,

upon plate of fine china,

as nine figures flanked him.

Women he could no longer sense –

wispy, floating echoes

of what were,

now gone from this plane.

I looked to them for the answer

as he waited for mine,

because I did not know

which would save me.

With eyes devoid of light,

chins tipped down,

lips curled,

When they nodded,

so did I.

When he grinned,

so did I.

---

Little Ghost

He named me something new

to match my state of being,

formed by his influence,

a fitting name

for one who vanishes in his shadow,

unseen but always there,

who lingers over his shoulder,

whose wails and moans

find only his ear,

whose chill

from a long-dead soul

tingles down his spine.

A name that broke me …

until his shell began to crack,

and I accepted myself

as the one who haunts him.

---

Beside Me

I like his cries in the night

and that he doesn’t know he makes them.

I like that if I stay awake after sleep has claimed him,

I see the raw world he hides from me.

I like that, in this world, he whimpers my name

as if I am out of reach,

and sobs for my affection

as if he does not have it.

I like that his heart wholly desires

what only my heart can give.

So, desperate as I am,

I do not like when he wakes up.

---

Under Your Nails

It was not I who cracked my chest

and peeled myself apart for you.

I did not vandalize tissue

or carelessly break bone. Y

ou pried me open with bitter fingers

and gritted teeth.

Bits of me are forever trapped

under your nails.

---

Shifter

I did not think I would love you.

Our tattoos did not match,

your knuckles pushed mine too far apart,

the width of your hips brought an ache

to my thighs.

As the seasons turned beneath our tangled limbs,

I drew Sharpie lines on my skin

and got used to the cramps in my fingers.

My muscles stretched so my legs

could spread wider.

We fit then,

complemented one another

after all my hard work.

Patiently I am waiting to see

how you will shapeshift for me.

---

Dancing Darling

I watch you in slow motion

under throbbing lights of color

that alter the shade of your skin. T

he thumps of hearts echo

the beats that fill the room.

You dance for me

as you grab her hips

and pull her against you,

grinding through fabric layers.

One misspoken word from my lips

has you abandoning me for another,

showing what I could lose at any given moment,

and what awaits you

if I am gone.

---

Breakdown

A frail, glass box—

that is all that contains my madness.

But I threw a pebble at it

and now the cracks are growing;

the flood of my emotions

spewing through thin, jagged spaces,

the pressure threatening its walls.

And they will shatter

because that is what they do.

The lid will cave

and disaster will coat the floor

beneath my feet.

---

For Now

When I touch my lips to yours

for the first time in months,

I whimper—

whimper and melt,

and the tears want to come,

because it is much easier to resist desire

if one has not entertained it

in a while.

But I have given in.

I am tasting you like I used to:

remnants of gin and cigarettes

and blueberry pie,

and it is all you.

You,

who are so shocked by my kiss

that it takes you a moment to catch up

and become the you that I know.

But you find me,

and then I am in your lap,

hands everywhere -

thighs, spine, holding the back of my head -

tongue in mouth, teeth nipping lips,

and I have decided

I shall not deprive myself of you

again.

At least…

not until you hurt me

once more.