Marie-louise Ek

I'm a Swedish born writer living in Brighton.

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Award Category
Writing Mentorship Award 2023
The Man Who Loved Too Much
My Submission

Comments

Lis McDermott Mon, 03/07/2023 - 12:08

Straight into the action, to draw people in - well done.

Great description about Nicholas’ mother, and good building of their relationship.

There’s one bit of dialogue where I was confused as to who spoke, but it may be due to a typo.

This is a great start. I definitely want to read more, and find out what’s going to happen. The story definitely draws you in with lots of mystery.

Tracy Stewart Tue, 08/08/2023 - 16:55

This writing draws you in from the start. It takes you straight into action allowing the scene and senses to be revealed within the action. Very nicely done.

The character descriptions are well constructed and have the potential to develop further.

The dialogue perhaps needs some revisions to be clear about from whose Point of View the scene is being told, but that is something that can be reviewed as part of the wider vision of the story perspective.

Writing with great potential. Well done!