I am a new writer from the south east, I worked as a script reader for a few years writing some of my own short scripts along the way. I have only recently started writing fiction novella as a way to tell more complex stories in a way that is more artistic than what is allowed in screen format. I really enjoy creative writing and I hope that my stories are well-received by their readers.
Comments
This story is OOZING with…
This story is OOZING with voice!! Such a strong, unique character and you've got me hooked! His snark makes you want to read more.
A fabulous opening, getting…
A fabulous opening, getting directly to the action with a strong narrative voice. The reader is immediately invested and I want to read on.
Your character has such a…
Your character has such a strong inner monologue that it immediately grabs the reader's attention. His disdain for leading a monotonous life is evident and oddly relatable, making the reader feel for this character in an odd way, despite his murderous actions. An interesting story and character that makes me want to read more!
Your story has such a unique…
Your story has such a unique and interesting narrative style that immediately captures the reader's attention.
Strong voice capturing a jaded persona
The narrative voice is strong, with many images strong in their specificity (for e.g., 'Most people are in 12pt Times New Roman with the covers wide open', or 'pumping iron on the balcony opposite my flat and grunting like a gorilla mid-coitus').
At times imagery could use a little more connection and contextualization, as the author's hand risks showing otherwise in the sense of 'style for style's sake'. For example when the narrator says, 'Yeah, I know it’s a little early for bleak poetry, but I don’t get much sleep these days.' There hasn't been anything one could describe as poetry preceding this point.
Cohesion requires following through on images and referents, too, e.g. heroin is mentioned in the first paragraph (implying the narrator has a heroin abuse problem) yet the narration shifts to other topics, making it seem perhaps a little more for literary effect. The stream-of-consciousness style of narration makes it a little tricky to build a sense of narrative drive/direction. So remember to always connect.
Quirky and compelling
This is a comment from a publisher judge who asked us to post this comment:
This is clearly a first-person narrator who will be more than capable of driving the plot. While his voice was quirky and compelling, we’d like to see his character developed in ways that distinguish him from other jaded action heroes. Right from the get, we’d love to see what makes him particular and unique. An interest in lepidoptery? A penchant for epic poetry? A knitting hobby, or another secret soft spot? Already an excellent example of the genre, but the very best books defy their genres in new and interesting ways.
Very compelling start
This is a comment from a publisher judge who asked us to post this comment:
The prose in this piece is absolutely lovely. We would certainly love to spend the length of a novel in this descriptive world. The switch from third present to first past was abrupt at first, but the image of the fire in the prologue interestingly colored the scenes that came after. We’d like to better understand the stakes around the birth of the twins, but see that it will likely come later in the book. Very compelling start.