Beyond The White Line

Screenplay Award Sub-Category
Award Category
Logline or Premise
A disgraced professional footballer tries to restart his career after serving a drugs ban. There's just one problem - the entire country hates him.
Submission file


Lauren Cribb Peacock Mon, 21/08/2023 - 23:31

Your dialogue is excellent. Great sense of character and a great storyline/ One thing I would suggest is not revealing details on why Jack was banned so early on, especially in episode 1. Keep the audience guessing by dropping breadcrumbs throughout the first few episodes. He knows, Beck knows, the world knows, but rope the audience in for that hook and take them on a ride. I want to be right there with Jack experiencing those emotions for what I can only assume will be a mental and physical fight to get back into the sport and to be respected again. Would love to see this on the big screen.