Shifted

Shifted
Chapter 1

The silence inside my apartment was deafening. Every light was off. It looked like no one was home. My face fell. I had rushed back from Paris early to surprise my fiancé; I even made reservations at the restaurant where we went on our first date and picked up a bottle of champagne on the way home from JFK. Things were rocky between us before I left. It seemed like the closer we got to walking down the aisle the more distant he became. What used to feel like a perfect love story now felt like waking up to a stranger each morning. I didn’t understand why he refused to come with me to Fashion Week or why he seemed to be pulling away, but I wanted so badly to get us back on track.

Naively, I believed I could.

I closed the door behind me and started to turn on the lights when I heard a soft sound from our bedroom. It almost sounded like a moan. I blinked a few times, afraid I might have been so jet-lagged that I was imagining things. Then I heard it again. I hesitated a little. Maybe he's watching TV?

There I was, making excuses again. For months I had been coming up with so many explanations for Brian’s behavior. It was exhausting.

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and started down the hallway toward the bedroom. With every step I took, the sounds became louder and my feet felt heavier. I wanted there to be a logical explanation, but once I brought myself to open the door, the answer was right there in front of me, screaming my fiancé’s name.

"Shit!"

I watched, horrified, as Brian pushed a tall blonde off him. She tumbled to the ground, landing on her side with a loud thud, and then immediately began scrambling. Brian pointlessly tried to cover himself with our sheets as she frantically searched for her clothes on my bedroom floor. The whole thing felt like it was in slow motion. I just stood there, my eyes wide, my feet glued to the floor.

"Babe! Babe! This isn't—"

I knew what he was about to say. It was that old cliché that every man said when they got caught. I lifted my hand to silence him. I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't bring myself to speak, but that didn't mean I had to listen to him try to gaslight me into thinking I wasn't seeing what was right in front of me — both of them naked, sweaty, and moments away from ruining 700 thread count Egyptian cotton. I turned my attention to the blonde who was desperately trying to get her clothes on, and that’s when a terrible realization hit me.

I knew her. "Lexi?"

She froze and then slowly turned to look at me. The color drained from her face as her eyes met mine."I'm so sorry. I swear this just—"

"Please, don't." I cut her off; I didn't want to hear the excuses. What could she possibly say? We worked together for years. She was the best assistant I'd ever had. More than that, we were friends. She was supposed to be in our wedding! I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. "I need to pack. Please don't be here when I'm done." My voice was shaky but direct.

I almost couldn't believe how calm I was, but I knew it was only temporary. As soon as the shock wore off, I would likely fall apart. I just had to make sure I was as far away as possible when that happened.

I started to gather whatever items I could from around the apartment until I heard Lexi leave. Then I mustered up the courage to get my clothes out of the bedroom. Brian sat on our bed, his eyes cast down at the floor in silence. At least by now he had managed to put his pants back on. I texted my best friend, Leon, who let me know he was on his way over. I just had to get my clothes and get out.

"Please don't go," Brian said. For a moment, he almost sounded like that sweet, nerdy video game programmer I fell in love with and not whatever it was he'd become.

I took in a sharp breath and shook my head. "You chose this, Brian. Not me."

My hands trembled as I slid my engagement ring off my left finger. I set it down on the bedside table quietly and continued to gather my things. There was no way I could get it all, but I had to keep myself busy long enough for Leon to get there.

"Please, talk to me. We can figure this out," Brian pleaded.

I whipped my head around and held out my hand. He just stared back at me as if I had lost my mind.

“What?”

“The watch!” I demanded.

I became even more horrified by it all when I looked down and saw he was wearing it. He was wearing my grandfather’s watch in our bed while he had sex with my assistant. I felt my stomach churn but I willed my face not to betray me.

“It’s not yours, Jacey,” he shot back at me.

“The fuck it’s not!” I hissed. I could feel the bile rising in my throat.

“He gave it to me!”

Before he passed, my grandfather and Brian were extremely close. Brian didn't have grandparents of his own. In fact, he barely had any family at all, so I knew why he wanted to keep it. However, the watch belonged to my family. A family Brian was no longer a part of. How much could the watch mean to him when he was so willing to toss the family it came from aside?

“He’s dead! He thought you were going to marry me. I’m sure the last thing he would want is—”

I paused at the sound of urgent pounding at the front door, so loud I was surprised it didn’t fly off the hinges. Leon had been saving me since I was nineteen years old, and here he was, rescuing me again.

I opened the front door and Leon barreled in with a look on his face so feral, it made me take a step back. I couldn't remember ever seeing him this furious.

"Where the fuck is he?"

"Let's just go," I said, grabbing his arm.

"No," Leon growled before yelling towards the back of the apartment. "Fishman, get out here before I drag you out!"

I slowly turned as Brian emerged from the bedroom, but Leon’s arm prevented me from getting a good look at him. I had no idea why he was stupid enough to approach when Leon had at least forty pounds of muscle on him.

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Leon snarled.

“Right, like you weren’t hoping this would happen!” Brain fired back.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

I didn’t know what that meant either, but Leon’s hands were clenched so tightly that when he took a step forward I physically had to put myself between the two of them before Leon ended up charging him.

"Please, just take me home," I pleaded.

Leon's face softened when he met my gaze. "Do you have what you need?"

Brian watched as we grabbed my bags. I couldn't look at him. As far as I was concerned, if I never saw his face again, it would be too soon.

Leon tried to stop me when we got into the hallway. I could tell he was worried, but I marched right past him, down the stairs, and into the cab waiting outside. There was only so long I could hold the tears back, and I needed to be somewhere safe before I let them fall. I was silent as we drove. I just stared out the window at the wet city streets and the soft drizzle of rain hitting the glass in front of me.

“Are you okay?” Leon asked even though we both knew the answer.

“No.”

I was trying to avoid speaking, afraid that if I said anything at all, the thread I was hanging onto might snap.

“What the hell was he thinking? He’s an idiot. He literally just lost the best thing that—”

“Please…” I said, reaching for Leon’s hand and interrupting the rant he was about to go on.

He didn’t say another word. Instead, he gave me what I desperately needed. He turned his hand over, laced his fingers in mine, and held space for me.

It wasn't until I was home, back inside the loft I had shared with Leon for so many years, that it finally hit me. I only made it about four steps through the front door. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. All I could do was try to keep myself upright as helpless, gut-wrenching sobs ripped through my chest.

My best friend wrapped me in his protective arms, holding me tightly. "I've got you," he whispered.

I cried until I went numb again. Leon never once let go of me. We sat on the floor in front of our front door for what felt like hours. Once I'd been silent long enough, he helped me to my bedroom. All I could do was lay wide awake in my old bed, staring at the wall, trying to figure out how I ended up here.

We were weeks away from the wedding. Weeks.

Heartbreak wasn’t exactly new to me. My heart was its own wrecking ball. Before Brian, I was in this vicious cycle of falling fast, rushing into bed, and giving too much of myself. I would throw myself head-first into men who would give me just enough to keep me hanging on, but never enough to actually make me feel safe and secure. It happened so many times I started to believe I might be cursed. When it came to building anything stable, I didn’t have a clue. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone.

Like now.

Compared to my long-running streak of bad romances, my relationship with Brian Fishman seemed like a fairy tale. He might not be Prince Charming, but that was what I loved about him. He wasn’t perfect. He was sweet and nerdy, and slightly awkward. Things moved slowly when I was with him, the way they were supposed to. The last thing I ever could have imagined was this.

If I was being honest with myself, the problems started long before finding him in bed with Lexi. Before we’d met, Brian and his best friend started designing a video game. It was their passion project, and for years, the two of them worked tirelessly to finish it. When they finally did, the game ended up becoming a huge success. The minute that money hit his account, Brain proposed.

Until I saw it first hand, I didn’t realize how true that saying about “money changing people” is—and Brian made more money in those first few months than he'd seen in his entire life. The changes were small at first. He wasn't as kind to strangers, he seemed more impatient, and he had this thinly-veiled arrogance about him that I never noticed before. As the months went on, he would stay out a little too late getting drinks after work or suddenly need to go to unexpected dinner meetings. He was detached—vacant, even. The closer we got to the wedding, the more alone I felt.

Now I knew why, at arguably the most important moment of my career as a designer, my fiancé refused to show up. At the time he told me he was too busy with work, so I took Leon with me to France. Apparently, what he was too busy with was banging my twenty-two-year-old assistant.

Shifted
Chapter 2

Everything inside me hurt. Each week I expected it to pass, but it didn't. It was only four months ago I had everything I'd ever wanted. The fashion line I had poured my heart and soul into was finally taking off. I was about to get married to the love of my life. Well, I thought he was the love of my life. After I found my assistant on top of him in our bed, I wasn't sure that Brian had ever really known how to love anyone.

The whole thing was devastating. Not only did I have to deal with the emotional wreckage of being cheated on, but I had to make hundreds of humiliating phone calls to the guests and the vendors to cancel the wedding. I hadn't been myself since then. I was walking through my life in a fog that everyone could see. I was more than heartbroken. I was shattered. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to put myself back together.

One early Saturday evening, I sat on the large, dark blue sectional in my loft. I used to spend Saturday nights lounging like this with Brian or out with friends. Now all I could bring myself to do was the weekly "wine and chat" that my twin sister set up, probably as an excuse to make sure I didn't have a mental breakdown.

I was shaken from my thoughts by the grating sound of the downstairs buzzer. Less than a minute after letting my sister into the building I heard a perky little knock at the door. I took a deep breath and forced a smile before letting her in.

"I'm so glad you live here with Leon. I swear every time I come over, there's some weirdo outside your building," my sister complained as she set her salmon-colored Birkin and a bottle of Chardonnay down on the end table near the door.

“You know what’s weird… they’re only here on Saturday nights. They must just show up to see you.”

“Very funny,” Elise said, rolling her eyes.

"Leon is useless," I added. "If someone broke in, I'm sure I'd be the one fighting them off."

That was entirely untrue. I knew if I needed it, Leon would do everything he could to protect me. He always did. I just made the joke to deflect my sister's need to insult our building. She thought any part of New York that wasn’t Central Park South or Tribeca was dangerous. Elise was sweet, or she tried to be, but she was spoiled. Her fiancé was extremely wealthy, which was made evident by the giant, canary-yellow engagement ring she wore on her left hand. Elise's fiancé was from old money, and the more time she spent with them, the more entitled she became.

"How's the planning going?" I asked absently as I made my way into the kitchen to grab two wine glasses.

Nathan only proposed two weeks ago but Elise was already completely wedding-obsessed. Participating in wedding planning wasn't easy given what I recently went through, but she was my sister, and Elise had been waiting eight years for that ring. She deserved to feel like I was happy for her, which I was, even if the reminders stung a little.

"I still can't decide on a date. I was thinking of June, but maybe April is better? Do you think June will be too hot?" she asked me.

I grabbed the bottle of wine and headed for the couch. I poured Elise a glass and handed it to her before doing the same for myself.

"Everyone gets married in June. You're going to be competing with a ton of other weddings."

I stared down into my glass of French Chardonnay, the memories of my failed engagement twisted in the pit of my stomach. I knew I was better off without Brian, but I couldn't help but picture his face and imagine things that could have been.

"That's why I didn't choose May. I thought there would be too many other weddings. You think June is going to be the same way?" Elise asked me.

"Yeah..."

I had no idea what my sister had just said to me. Her words went in one ear and right out the other. My head was clouded with too many memories. I thought of the Alexander McQueen wedding gown that was gathering dust. What was once the dress of my dreams, was now a monster hiding in the back of my closet waiting to send me into hysterics any time I saw it.

"Are you okay?"

I had always considered Elise and I close, but I knew I couldn't tell her how I felt. My perfect sister, with her fairy tale romance, couldn't possibly understand life-altering heartbreak. She met Nate when she was eighteen. She had never experienced any other relationship, and she certainly had never been cheated on.

It was almost comical how different Brian and Nate were. While money had turned Brian into an arrogant prick who couldn’t manage to keep it in his pants, Nate had all the advantages in the world and he was easily one of the kindest people I had ever met. He was loyal to a fault. I had no doubt in my mind that he would be just as in love with my sister in his eighties as he was now.

"Yeah... I'm fine..." I lied as I fiddled with the rim of my glass.

"We don't have to talk about this if it's upsetting you."

I knew that Elise meant well, but she had this tone that made me feel like I was being lectured even when I wasn’t. It was almost like I wasn’t allowed to be upset. Apparently, my grieving period could only last until my sister added “soon-to-be Mrs. Montgomery” to her Instagram profile.

I shook my head and tried to get the negative thoughts out. I needed to focus on my sister. I was her maid of honor, after all.

"It's okay. I'm happy for you, Ellie. It's just..."

"I know," Elise nodded and softened her tone. "You know the offer still stands. I could totally murder him..."

I laughed at the notion. Elise, like me, was all of five foot five inches tall and about one hundred and ten pounds. Brian was no bodybuilder, but he was just shy of six feet tall and had always made me feel comparably tiny. There was no way that Elise would be a threat to him. I could only picture my petite twin sister screaming, limbs flailing everywhere as she tried to attack Brian in some adorable attempt to defend my honor.

"You’re not exactly the fighting type, Ellie."

Elise thought for a moment as she took another swig of her wine.

"Fine, but I could find someone!" she said.

"Who? The mafia?" I asked sarcastically.

I could see it now, Elise in some stereotypical mobster costume complete with a fedora, trying to get some guy named Big Fishy Bob to take out my ex.

"No, but I am about to be a Montgomery..."

I rolled my eyes. In certain circles, that might have meant something, but to me, all it meant was that my sister was about to become even more pretentious than she already was. On some level, I understood. Nate’s money was really the only weapon that Elise had to wield. I loved that she wanted to protect me, but the truth was, no matter how much I hated Brian for what he did, there was still a part of me that loved him. There was no future for us, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him harmed.

“Seriously though, are you okay?” Elise asked.

“It still hurts, but I think it’s just one of those situations where the only way out is through.”

"Maybe you should get back out there," Elise suddenly said.