Beyond The White Line

Excellent writing...the dialogue really sparkles!

Your dialogue is excellent. Great sense of character and a great storyline/ One thing I would suggest is not revealing details on why Jack was banned so early on, especially in episode 1. Keep the audience guessing by dropping breadcrumbs throughout the first few episodes. He knows, Beck knows, the world knows, but rope the audience in for that hook and take them on a ride. I want to be right there with Jack experiencing those emotions for what I can only assume will be a mental and physical fight to get back into the sport and to be respected again. Would love to see this on the big screen.