Wicked Shadow Whispers Volume 1: Beyond the Veil

Part 1: Broken Oaths

After college, Jase vowed never to become another drone for ‘da’ man.’ He snorted, then looked to his office’s open door. Fortunately, no one noticed. It wasn’t the first vow he’d broken, nor was it the worst. He daydreamed of Lealu, his first love, loss, and most devastating broken vow.While he’d never made an oath to her, he’d made one to himself.

Almost three years ago, she’d offered him the opportunity to keep that promise, but he’d chosen a different path. As punishment, Jase lost all motivation to do anything more than just exist. The drive to manifest his desires remained within, trapped behind the same door as Lealu, along with its only key.

As punishment, Jase lost all motivation to do anything more than just exist. The drive to manifest his desires remained within, trapped behind the same door as Lealu, along with its only key.

His penance was to punch a clock, working to make someone else’s dreams come true. Though only in his mid-twenties, he resigned himself to living a wasted life.

He sighed and shuffled a few papers on his crowded but tidy desk. Tidy to him, anyway. He preferred a form of controlled chaos. To the average person, his workspace looked disorganized, but he could find anything in a matter of seconds.

A vigorous shake of his head dispelled the melancholy threatening to ruin the remainder of his day. Things could have been worse. At least he was in management, though he hadn’t earned the job through his own achievements, at least not in the beginning.

His ex (-boss and -lover), Mary, got him the job, hoping it would ingratiate him to her for the favor, but his work there spoke for itself. Upper management noticed the warehouse ran more efficiently and under budget after he transferred in, and they understood it was because of his skills.

That relieved the pressure to repay her for the favor. Now, he was free to choose the affair or not. She would be dangerous because her husband had a lot of pull with some very unsavory people. He could handle them easily enough, but it was one of the multitudes of reasons he got out of da’ Hood. He was tired of navigating minefields, and as beautiful and desirable as Mary was, she wasn’t worth descending into a world of pain and violence once more.

An oscillating electronic duotone snapped him out of his reverie. When he answered the phone, he entered a dream from which he never wanted to awaken.

After the phone call, Jase stared into space for nearly a full minute, receiver still in his hand. The woman’s rich, melodic, sensual contralto echoed in his ears and locked his mind into a fantasy of desire. As he sat in his chair, mesmerized, a vision of a tall, dark-haired beauty with smooth olive skin and voluptuous curves guided her hands across his bare chest, then his abdomen, then lower.

Her tongue teased his ear and neck, then finally his lips as her hands worked their magic. Jase’s breathing increased, as did his need. She tasted like sea salt and honey and smelled of lavender and patchouli. She whispered, “I want you, Jase, right here, right now.”

A loud crash dispelled the daydream into a fog of confusion and forced his mind back into reality. It was a good thing he sat behind the desk because the front of his pants had grown very, very tight.

If her voice did that to him, what would happen if they met? He had to find out. No one since Lealu Maldon had affected him so, and he had bungled his chances with her in high school and, again, in college.

***

Jase had spoken to Lealu two years before while he attended college. She called his mobile one weekend afternoon, and the news she laid on him was a bombshell.

“Hi, Jase! It’s Lealu.”

A broad smile brightened his face. “Lealu! It’s good to hear your voice. How are you?”

“I’m... I’m okay, Jase. What about you?”

“I’m good. I’m so glad you called.”

Excitement infused her voice. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to call you, but I’ve been putting it off.”

“Why?”

Jase sighed. “Because I was a coward. I just ran off and left things hanging between us.”

“That’s why I called. I wanted to kinda get things back on track. I mean, it’s been almost two years, and I seriously need to tell you something.”

“I think I know, Lealu. I’m sorry I got so angry when you started dating Greg. I’m really ashamed of the way I acted. I should have been a better friend.”

Lealu’s frown somehow translated into her voice. “Why did you treat me that way?”

“I was jealous...”

Her response was enthusiastic. “Jealous? Really?”

“I got used to having my bestie all to myself. Then here comes this rich, pretty boy sweeping you off your feet. He stole you from me, and I got mad at you for letting him do it.”

“I’m sorry, Jase. I didn’t know you felt that way. But that’s why I called.”

“My apologies. There I go again, not considering your feelings. It all hit me at once. How are you two doing? Is he treating you right? Or does he need some, uh, attitude adjustment?”

“There he is. I missed my apologetically selfish, over-protective, but quirky bestie.” Her voice cracked as if she fought back tears. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed seeing you. Spending time with you, Jase”

“Lealu? What’s the matter? Did he do something? If he did, I’ll light him up!”

“No. No. I mean, yes. He cheated on me, but I broke up with him months ago. I didn’t love him, Jase.” She paused.”I’m in love with someone else, and it took that to make me realize I need to tell them how I truly feel.”

“Oh. Ok. I’m listening. Talk to me.”

Jase readied himself for her confession. There had been a time when he wished he was the one she was in love with. A part of him still wanted her, but he was with Karen now, and he had strong feelings for her, maybe even loved her. But in the back of his mind, no one would ever replace Lealu in his heart.

Karen was amazing, had a good heart, and Jase would never do anything to hurt her. But still... he shook his head. Even if... It was out of the question. He was with Karen now, and that was that. There was no reason to believe he was the one she was talking about anyway.

“Do you remember how I used to leave dark pink carnations on your homeroom desk?”

“Yeah. Twice a week. I loved that.”

“Jase, It’s an old custom in my culture. When you give someone dark pink carnations, it means that person is special to you and they are always on your mind. Always.”

“Wait. What are you saying, Lealu?”

“I’m in love with you, Jase. I think I always have been. I was just too stupid and wrapped up in the high school clique crap to realize it.”

He experienced a moment of dissonance that froze him into inaction. She called to him in the ensuing silence. “Jase?”

“Lealu. I wish you had told me then. I loved you. I adored you. I never thought I was good enough for you. I mean, I’m from da Hood, and you’re from way, way, way on the other side of the tracks.”

“That’s what the carnations were for. I wanted to tell you how I felt but not be too obvious. I couldn’t just come out and say it. It would leave me vulnerable... again.”

“But Lealu, it was me. You told me everything. Things I didn’t want to hear about your dates and the stuff you did with them. You knew I would never have taken advantage of you. Not ever. Why didn’t I see it then? Why didn’t I see? Too effing stuck in my self-pity. I’m such an idiot.”

“No. No, Jase. It’s alright. It’s not too late. I’m here. I love you. I need you. I want to be with you. Distance won’t matter to me, Jase. We can see each other during breaks. I trust you. You won’t do what he did. I should have called sooner. Oh God, I’m babbling. Sorry.”

Jase answered Lealu’s enthusiasm with more silence as the conundrum froze his mind in a paroxysm of indecision. The woman he had dreamed about for seven years was in love with him. Had always been, and he never realized.

“Jase?”

But he had a new girlfriend he’d been with for a year, so far, and he cared for her deeply.

But it’s Lealu, bro. LEALU! That voice in the back of his mind screamed at him.

Yeah, but Karen doesn’t deserve to be hurt. Why should she suffer because an old flame reappeared? Old flame? Lealu was so much more. She was once the love of your life.

Once? Or still?

“Jase?”

He heard the desperation in her voice. He couldn’t deny the strength of his feelings for her, but they were in the past. Karen was his present and, possibly, his future. He could not in good conscience leave her for Lealu, no matter how strong his feelings.

Felt or feel?

He convinced himself it was irrelevant. Karen didn’t deserve to be hurt, and he had strong feelings for her. He would be happy if things worked out, right?

“Jase?”

His throat refused to project in little more than a whisper. Despite the subdued tone, the weight of his decision resounded in his voice. “Lealu.”

“No, Jase. Please.”

“I’m sorry. I have a girlfriend, and we’re pretty serious. Her name’s Karen and I can’t leave her. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt like that.”

“But you love me. I know you do. I dare you to deny it.”

“I—I can’t.”

“Then be with me, Jase. I love you. I need you. She doesn’t need you, but I do. Be with me, Jase, please.”

“I’m sorry, Lealu. I can’t.”

A sledgehammer could not shatter the thickness of the silence that followed. The weight of it nearly crushed Jase’s will.

“Lealu?”

Where the hammer would have failed, the soft click of a hang-up succeeded. The emptiness invading his mind shattered into a million pieces and obliterated his obstinance right along with it.

No matter who I choose, someone gets hurt.

Lealu had been the love of his life for almost seven years, and he’d kicked her in the guts.

Forgive me, Karen.

He immediately called back, but the call went straight to voicemail. After several more tries, he called Lealu’s mother, but she served up a wall of silence and hung up. He called PJ, Lealu’s lady bestie, but she told him to eff off.

Jase packed a quick bag to rush down to Houston to find her and talk to her in person. However, when he opened the door, Karen stood outside, poised to knock. Shame forced him to drop the bag behind the door. He stepped aside to let her in as a vise clamped his heart in an iron grip.

Part 2: The Book of Mary

They lasted another two weeks before she ended them for good. Lealu’s call changed him, and Karen sensed it almost immediately. She wouldn’t be a second choice to anyone, nor should she have to.

Jase dropped out of college because all motivation had fled despite his college buddies’ best efforts. He moved back to Houston but never contacted Lealu or her family. He never knew if it was out of pride, decorum, or shame. In the end, it didn’t truly matter. He had driven the love of his life away again, sinking him into a quagmire of despair lasting for nearly two years.

During that time, he had explored so many avenues of escape he lost count. After hitting rock bottom, his best friend, Mitchell, helped drag him out of the quagmire of his mind. The last six months had been the best so far. Jase had been a member of what came to be known as the ‘High-Niners.’ The runners in the Astrodome Skyboxes, on the ninth floor of the stadium, frequently used, shall we say, alternative forms of medication to maintain some semblance of sanity through the drudgery of their minimum-wage-earning daily lives.

Then there was Mary. She was the Lead manager in the Skyboxes, and for some reason, she was all about Jase. Before he started working there, she would spend the occasional few hours with one, or sometimes two of the other Brothers who worked for her. She had a thing for Black men.

Mary was tall, blonde, stunning, and fifteen years older than his twenty-four years. She could have anyone she wanted, but once he started working there, she wanted only him. She even stopped going out with the other Brothers. He never understood why, but Jase accepted all she had to offer.

The first time they made love, she told him he was only the third man with whom she’d ever had intercourse. Jase pointed out the other guys she’d been with, but she professed to have only had oral sex with them. For some reason, he believed her.

As their relationship progressed, they grew bolder and bolder in their affections. Her husband, Gil, would soon find out. Once that happened, all hell would break loose. Mary kept promising to leave the asshole but never did.

Jase convinced himself he loved her, but deep down, he was still too broken to love anyone, including himself. His journey on the path to healing had not progressed that far yet. Still, their close relationship served as a powerful motivator and a useful distraction from the pain of loss that plagued him. As a result, he remained captive to the promises she continued to make even when she brought up marriage and children. They were fantasies that perpetuated their relationship.

Until the black eye.

One day, Mary came to work with deep purple bruises around one eye. She tried to deny her husband had done it, but she wouldn’t tell Jase who did. She still wouldn’t leave Gil but eventually confessed as to why. He was a lieutenant in the local Cosa Nostra. If she left him, he would kill them both, or at least try.

Jase had connections in da’ Hood. If the husband came for him, there would be a bloody war that would decimate several wards in the city and kill countless innocent bystanders. He couldn’t let it happen, so he told Mary they had to split, at least until they figured a way out of their mess. She helped him get the assistant manager job in the Astrohall warehouse, and they stopped seeing each other, at least for a while.

However, Jase couldn’t let what the husband had done go unpunished. He tracked the asshole’s movements and discovered he had a daily routine. Stupid. Complacent. A person in his position should never do that. It made him predictable. In the life he’d chosen, predictability and complacency would lead to fatal consequences.

Exploiting the weakness, Jase planned the right time and place and then struck.

He found a deserted part of the city and forced Gil off the road. After dealing with the man’s ineffectual protectors, Jase dragged him out of his car. He handed Mary’s husband a note made of letters cut out of various magazines detailing what would happen next.

Jase would give the asshole a fighting chance and would give him the first swing for free. The guy was just a bully with zero fighting skills. The punch tickled a little, and then it was his turn.

He never spoke, and he never revealed either his face or a single inch of skin. He beat the man without mercy but left him with a sliver life. Jase left him on the ground, bleeding, not caring if Gil lived or died.

Mary later revealed his organization’s response. They thought that a rival caught Gil unawares and made an example of him.

Once Jase had avenged Mary, his desire for her vanished. She would lead to a dead end someday… for him and, perhaps, for them both.

Part 3: Come Inside

Jase shook his head to clear the cobwebs from his past and present, almost successfully. The affair between him and Mary was over. She’d taken up her old habits and seemed to have also moved on. The passage of time would reveal that truth. At the moment, he was free to pursue the magnificently sensual voice on the other end of the phone.

Because of his position, Jase usually passed the order to one of his runners, but he decided to deliver it himself. He had to meet the woman who spoke with such dulcet tones. She had to be new because he would have remembered her siren’s song. When he arrived at the stand, Jase opened the rear door and beheld the Greek goddess, Aphrodite, personified.

Raven-black hair framed an olive-skinned oval face with a slightly pointed chin, high cheekbones, round, deep-set Indigo eyes, a patrician nose, and full, pouty lips. Her smile offered promises to which he had no right but desired anyway.

“Hello, Jase. It’s about time we met.” Her hand flew to her mouth as her eyes opened wide. “Or should I call you Mr. Coleman since you’re the manager?” She followed the last statement with a quirk of her lips.

He couldn’t place her accent, but it was infinitely appealing. “Jase is fine but how do you know who I am?”

“I’ve asked about you. All the ladies know who you are, so I had to meet you. Why don’t you come inside?”

Jase shook his head to clear the mist left by the angelic voice. Over the phone, it had only been intoxicating, but in person, it evolved to hypnotic.

“Jase? You okay?”

He finally found his voice. “Uh, yeah. I’m okay. Um. I have your order....” He let his voice trail off with a lilt at the end.

“The answer you seek is Apate, and I meant what I said.”

She moved closer and curled her hand around the back of his neck. “I would love for you to come inside.” Apate’s chuckle sent shivers through him. “And you can take that any way you like. I love your vibe and your looks. You remind me of that Apollo guy from those boxing movies but with less angular features.”