Flowers in a Bedpan: The Diary, a Year in the Life of a Nurse

CHAPTER ONE

“Nurse, nurse, oh my goodness please come, someone has pooed in my bed. I woke up this morning and would you believe it I turned my back for one minute and already someone,” the lady looked aggressively around at all the patients in the ward, “someone has pooed in my bed!”

The nurse, “now I’m sure whoever it was didn’t do it deliberately, but let me help you get out of bed whilst I change the sheets. Would you like to use the commode while I’m here and I will get another nurse to help me get you out of bed, then we can clean you and the bed up!” As the nurse looked she saw the lady about to fall onto the floor. The lady pointed. “Look there he is still with poo in his bum!” The nurse looked around, and, sure enough, there was a little old man without a stitch of clothing on, still ‘pooing’ as he ran down the ward.

“Nurse, nurse, come here I need someone with me on my way down to theatre.” The nurse looked at the patient, all gowned up, ready for surgery. “But you have this nurse here with you she will stay with you until they actually take you into surgery.”

“No, I need you to come as well. You have been with me all the way so far and now is the most important time of all, especially as I get my cancer taken away at last.”

She looked at the other nurse, smiled and turned away. So she took over the trolley and off they went. It was totally understandable how he felt this was the most important time of all and the nurse who was taking him was also going to 'special' him when he returned, hopefully minus a lung that was at present filled with a raging cancer. He was only thirty three years old, handsome, fairly rich with an exceptionally well-paid job, a ‘high flyer’ living in London until now. He came down to earth with a bump just literally a few days ago. So yes that nurse will stay with him as only a nurse can for the next foreseeable few days, trying to keep him alive!

Therefore it begs the question...

WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO BE A NURSE?

Is it to:-

‘Mop brows and whisper life saving words to a dying soul?’

NOT AT ALL, it’s to earn lots of money, laze about and reap the benefits of a good life.

HARDLY!

No, the reasons for becoming a nurse and staying a nurse are very complicated. I have asked many nurses a similar question, if only to get a consensus on any particular reason, without much success. No-one can really give a definitive answer.

There is a saying, 'we all meet at least two thousand people before we die, about one hundred and fifty will be friends over a period of time and close friends only a minimal number.'

Not true of a nurse. I personally have met at least twice that, times that by three and then multiply it by one hundred and fifty-two and that maybe… maybe will give you an idea of the number of people I’ve met in over forty-five years of nursing. Having performed so many revealing things to, or for them, most could never be friends.

I am good at what I do and as a long-time nurse, I know what I am doing. I have an intuitive way of working out illness. I am not infallible but I do have a fair understanding of the bodies foibles. Someone will give me some symptoms and I usually get an idea of what the problem could be. That is one of the reasons why I am best suited to write this book. This is the bare and naked truth of the time when I first started back into nursing. After ten years of being in the ‘wilderness’ (that is private nursing), I returned to the fold and on the NHS hospital trail again.

What could be more worthwhile than a job where you’re helping people when they are at their most vulnerable, needy and sometimes even in their most desperate hours?

So what’s nursing all about? Not only is it about administering medical care but also about nursing seriously ill people, being a carer, comforting them and listening to all their problems whilst trying to cheer them up. It’s really important on the ward to have a bond between all the nurses too. It lends itself to a healing atmosphere.

We need to give the patient treatment for as many ills as possible and try to understand how the patient feels when they hear about their illness and the prospect of their treatment. We also need to realise how difficult it is for them to understand everything being told to them, they look to us to help them through it all. So all in all, during one day we could be dealing with dying patients and their grieving relatives. Awkward patients, some of whom are genuinely frightened and you have to keep their spirits up as well as your own.

We also need to take instruction from doctors and to be honest, they too have the best interest of the patient at heart, physically and mentally.

Often it can be heart-breaking, after caring for a patient whom we become fond of and despite all our efforts, when they pass away.

Nurses are not the most highly thought of as they were a few years ago, especially during COVID times, but clapping will never pay the bills. Also, the services that give the most help are not given much help back, nevertheless, nurses need financial help, which is not always available.

It is very hard work, wiping bums, feeding ill people, giving out drugs, (hoping they are the right drugs or one could lose their registration), never mind what it may do to the poor patient. Now that’s pressure. Then going on to cleaning up dirty infected wounds, sitting people on bedpans and commodes, putting up with foul body odours, verbal abuse, and sometimes even physical abuse.

Taking blood, seeing blood, cleaning up blood, and at times often being covered in blood from the patient's external or internal injuries.

Taking the flak from the doctors and being blamed for many things, from lost X-rays to being late with the treatment, possibly due to the many other pressures put on nurses by other means, i.e. doing more than one job at a time. (But then lots of nurses are women, able to multi-task. Although male nurses are brilliant at their jobs, they cannot always multi-task as often as women. Not to be sexist as two of my very dear friends are male nurses and are amazing at it). Certainly, they are greatly loved by both patients and staff alike.

Traditionally it seems to be more of a woman’s predominance, although thankfully more men are being trained and make excellent nurses and another very dear friend has just qualified himself this very year. They have become accepted in every form of nursing, especially by the elderly patients, as often being more caring. That includes midwifery although not so many as yet, but the world is becoming very accepting and sooner rather than later a woman in labour will not really care whether it’s a man or a woman helping to bring her baby into the world kicking and screaming as it still wants to stay inside mums comfortable belly! Nowadays there are now quite a few male midwives and I for one think it’s a good thing. We always accept male doctors without any qualms.

The pages that follow are thoughts and activities of one nurse, amongst many, over a period of time.

I personally have been a nurse for more than forty five years as I said earlier, although to be perfectly frank I wanted to become a doctor, but my dad would never let me. He was of the old fashioned variety of dads where girls were seen and not heard, but ironically he was one of the best dads around, next to my husband, my son and son in law both being the absolute very best. Not that I am biased at all!

I wanted to go to University and study but in those halcyon days we could not afford such luxuries and dad thought only men went to University or of course the very rich either male or female. He was the very epitome of the working classes and although we never went without, we certainly struggled and even my mum who he adored could not persuade him to let me go, how would we find the money? In many ways I regret that I didn’t go anyway and to hell with the expense I would find a job and somehow do it, but things were so different then and if you think about it, maybe I wasn’t meant to go because I am a darn good nurse, even if I say so myself.

Wow, but how things have changed dramatically, especially the nursing side. There is far more technology creating complicated ways of invading the body, without doing much damage, or being in any way detrimental to the patient (or client as they are now becoming known). We, as a profession, are also becoming reliant on this technology, but, having said that, there is NO substitute for actual eyeball observation and experience, which obviously comes with practice, but we never get totally perfect, even with the practice.

We learn how to look for certain signs on the body, symptoms, facial expressions, cold, clammy skin and how to recognise true pain. Body language is a huge and important part of our job. We also aim to recognise problems and hopefully precipitate them or at least catch them before worsening. Our training prepares us for that, it truly does.

Nowadays as an older and more experienced nurse, we often say that ‘our training was the best in years gone by; mainly by learning on the job but I believe the young nurses today don’t have the same advantage, would you believe?’

In reality they do of course, more so in fact, they probably have a more in-depth knowledge of the human body and its workings. They just need the knowledge of observation (and a more experienced, older and sometimes wiser nurse alongside).

Learning about a subject at University equips one with the theory side of what to look for in a heart attack, but on the wards, face to face with a cardiac arrest, (where the heart suddenly stops beating), is a different matter.

A young or older, newly trained nurse may well know everything about the heart anatomically and how it works, but what’s important at this time is HOW to get it started again and what we do. They may even know what to do, but it is a very frightening time even for experienced nurses, for what everyone is short of is TIME, especially the patient. Sometimes we wonder about defying nature, but in many situations we don’t think about that aspect. As we have come to know the patient, if only a little, we want the best for them and for them to enjoy an extended life however old they may be.

We also wonder about whether we should let someone die with dignity, the way we all would wish to die ourselves. And yet the tenacity to cling to life is huge in most of us. Life is so beautiful it should be enjoyed to the full.

There are many reasons for being a nurse, but one of the main reasons we become nurses is how we can help to defy death at times. That may sound ridiculous and no one really thinks of that in those logical terms, but perhaps, how we can improve someone’s daily life, if only a little, even when they have a life threatening illness.

To work with doctors in the fight against disease, to encourage people to change their lifestyle, by promoting and helping to effect change in any way, shape or form. We care about people. As professionals we have a duty of care to the public. We do this hopefully with a lot of caring and humour, without which, we as human beings could not cope.

We often take much humour out of many situations, sometimes even sad ones. Never judge when a nurse is laughing, (Gallows humour it’s called,) there may well have been a bad episode she has had to deal with and needs to lift herself to cope with the rest of the shift and the ever changing pressures nurses are put under, knowing they could lose their livelihood on the whim of someone who thinks they know better than the professionals. So they sue and tie up the hospitals in masses of litigation which is so damaging to the caring profession.

Today’s nurse is much different to a nurse of forty years ago and I for one feel sorry for them, the pressures they face and the charges laid at the doors of the nursing associations.

When I first wrote this tale, I had just started at the hospital, a return for me back into acute nursing after at least six years looking after my children until of school age, proceeding on to working in the private sector. I felt completely at a loss as I had spent ten years working in nursing homes and looking after the elderly. I applied on a whim knowing full well I would never get the job for ‘ageism’ had reared its head for me many times, so I was fairly fatalistic that this would go the same way.

WOW, I can’t tell you how amazed I was at getting the job. They decided in their wisdom that they could use my experience but at the same time teach me a thing or two. Now that was my kind of language as I was always ready for a challenge, (still am). The boss was a lady who was totally down to earth, youngish (well in her early thirties and that’s young to me) and extremely clever. She had a wise head on her young shoulders and knew she was getting a bargain in me. But I digress.

The NHS has fed and clothed me and my family for many a long year, as nursing in general has and so, for that, we have to be grateful. The new nurses of today are a different breed of nurse. Bright, witty, knowledgeable, sophisticated and computer literate. BUT. NOTHING.

Absolutely nothing, is better than experience as I have said before and cannot stress it enough.

What follows are one nurses’ thoughts at the end of each day, in the first return year back into the amazing National Health Service and although not every day was written down, this is how I chose to write it. There will be total confidentiality of all patients, staff and anyone mentioned will have had all their names changed. This applies to places and buildings. Although the tales themselves are true, all peoples and names will therefore be fictitious.

CHAPTER TWO.

MONDAY AM.

9am. Interview is in thirty minutes and I’m convinced I’m unlikely to get the job, but I have to try. I need to get back into acute nursing after ten years in the wilderness. Truth be told, I have been nursing in old people’s homes, private homes and all sorts of private nursing, whilst looking after my children until they are old enough to fend for themselves at school. In my time I have tried all sorts of positions (jobs) and now is time to return to what I really want to do, back to looking after people and diseases, it is after all what I have been trained to do.

ONE HOUR LATER.

The interview seemed to go well and the manager of the ward was young, dynamic and seemed very wise, with a wicked sense of humour. If I get to work here I truly believe I will thoroughly enjoy the experience and learn so much more.

It is not true when people say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks although I’m not that old as yet, I can certainly learn much more than I already know, which I have to say is a lot to be honest. I met my friend in the café for a catch up on how we had both interviewed although on different wards. They had already told her she had the job and she was ecstatic.

‘Hello Christy, what are you doing back here? I remember you said you would never come back into the acute hospital environment?’ A warm chocolate voice behind me spoke softly into my ear. I shivered, swallowed and turned slowly around. This had been my one dread, to see the love of my entire life still here.