Flowers in a Bedpan: The Diary, a Year in the Life of a Nurse

CHAPTER ONE

“Nurse, nurse, oh my goodness please come, someone has pooed in my bed. I woke up this morning and would you believe it I turned my back for one minute and already someone,” the lady looked aggressively around at all the patients in the ward, “someone has pooed in my bed!”

“Now I’m sure whoever it was didn’t do it deliberately, but let me help you get out of bed whilst I change the sheets. Would you like to use the commode while I’m here and I will get another nurse to help me get you out of bed, then we can clean you and the bed up!”

From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of another patient as she teetered, clawing at the air and beginning the inevitable slide to the floor. Thankfully the health care assistant spotted her too so, racing over, averted a potential disaster.

Turning back to my own patient, the lady pointed. “Look there he is still with poo in his bum!”

Sure enough there was a little old man without a stitch of clothing on still ‘pooing’ as he ran down the ward.

“Nurse, nurse, come here I need someone with me on my way down to theatre.” Shouted the patient, sitting at the side of his bed, waiting to go for surgery.

Smiling to myself but replying with a straight face I responded “But you have this nurse here with you she’ll stay with you until they take you into surgery.”

“No, I need you to come as well. You’ve been with me all the way through this and now is the most important time of all, getting my cancer taken away at long last so you need to stay with me……….. p l e a s e.”

“Ok let’s get you changed into a gown and ready for surgery.”

He was a handsome thirty three year old, sitting on his bed wearing a silk robe in total contrast to the grey cotton bedsheets. His luxury watch dangled on his thinning wrists whilst clutching an expensive looking, constantly buzzing smartphone. Unable to answer, he looked frustratedly at it then handed it to her. “Please, tell them to get lost, I just can’t deal with this now especially as my life is about to change dramatically.”

Squeezing his hand and speaking gently as I took his phone and removed his watch, I reminded him, he was not allowed to wear during surgery. I continued softly. “Sadly, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, you have been grounded by cancer and it doesn’t care about your postcode or salary, but you might now be about to fight the greatest battle of your life.”

As I smiled at the other nurse she moved over as he was transferred to the trolley and off they went. It was totally understandable how he felt this was the most important time of all and the nurse who was taking him would also be going to special him when he returned, hopefully minus a lung that was at the present time, filled with a raging cancer.

So yes that nurse, being me, will stay with him as only a nurse can for the next foreseeable few days, trying to keep him alive!

Therefore it begs the question...

WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO BE A NURSE?

Is it to:-

‘Mop brows and whisper life saving words to a dying soul?’

NOT AT ALL.

Or is it to earn lots of money, laze about and reap the benefits of a good life?

HARDLY!

I am good at what I do and as a long time nurse I know what I am doing. I have an intuitive way of working out illness. I am not infallible but I do have a fair understanding of the bodies foibles. Someone will give me some symptoms and I usually get an idea of what the problem could be. That is one of the reasons why I am best suited for writing this book. This is the bare and naked truth of the time when I first started back into nursing in the NHS after ten years of being in the ‘wilderness’ (that is private nursing).

When I returned to the fold and onto the NHS hospital trail once again and the bare, naked man, pooing his way down the ward, happened to me on my very first day back to nursing.

What could be more worthwhile than a job where you’re helping people at their most vulnerable.

Often though it can be heartbreaking, after caring for a patient who we become fond of, and despite all our efforts, they pass away.

Nursing is the smell of poo on your uniform, the sharp metallic tang of blood on our scrubs and the squeaking wheels and heavy rhythmic click of the pill trolley. It’s very hard work, wiping bums, feeding ill people, giving out drugs and more importantly, ensuring I get every pill checked to prevent me from double dosing a patient or giving the wrong drug (heaven forbid) as any mistake could cost me my registration forever, never mind what it may do to the poor patient. Now that’s pressure!

Then going on to cleaning up dirty infected wounds, sitting people on bedpans and commodes, putting up with foul body odours, verbal abuse, and sometimes even physical abuse.

Taking blood, seeing blood, cleaning up blood, and at times often covered in someone elses blood from external or internal injuries.

Taking the flack from the doctors and being blamed for many things, from lost x-rays to being late with the treatment, possibly due to the many other pressures put on nurses by other means, i.e. doing more than one job at a time.

Why is it seen as more of a woman’s predominance? For decades the ward was a kingdom of feminity and starch, but the arrival of men has shifted the energy, bringing a different kind of calm to the bedside of a terrified patient. Thankfully more men are being trained making excellent nurses and they have become accepted in every form of nursing, by elderly patients, often being seen as more caring, and even now within midwifery. The world is becoming very accepting and sooner, rather than later, a woman in labour will not really care whether it’s a man or a woman helping to bring her baby, kicking and screaming into the world as it still wants to stay inside mums comfortable belly! Nowadays, just as we accept quite male doctors without any qualms there are now quite a few male midwives and I for one think its a good thing.

The following pages are one nurses’ thoughts at the end of each day, in the first return year back into the amazing National Health Service and although not every day was written down, this is how I chose to write it. There will be total confidentiality of all patients, staff and anyone mentioned will have had all their names changed. This applies to places and buildings. Although the tales themselves are true, all peoples and names will therefore be fictitious.

CHAPTER TWO.

MONDAY AM.

9am. Interview is in thirty minutes and I’m convinced I’m unlikely to get the job, but I have to try. I need to get back into acute nursing after ten years in the wilderness. Truth be told, I have been nursing in old people’s homes, private homes and all sorts of private nursing, whilst looking after my children until they now old old enough to fend for themselves at school. In my time I have tried all sorts of positions (jobs) and now is the right time to return to what I really want to do, back to looking after people and diseases, it is after all what I have been trained to do. I needed this. I had to prove I was still a nurse, not just a mother.

10am.

The interview seemed to go well and the manager of the ward was young, dynamic and seemed very wise, with a wicked sense of humour. If I get to work here I truly believe I will thoroughly enjoy the experience and learn so much more.

To be truthful I felt I’d nailed it and ready to dive back in at the deep end.

It is not true when people say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks although I’m not that old as yet, I can certainly learn much more than I already know, which I have to say is a lot to be honest. My friend and I met at the café for a catch up on how we had both interviewed though on different wards. Her large grin was already showing me she had got the job and she was ecstatic.

Congratulating her I sat gripping my hot coffee, watching the steam rise. Then it happened.

‘Hello Christy, what are you doing back here? I remember you said you would never come back into the acute hospital environment?’ A warm chocolate voice behind me spoke softly into my ear. Chills fired down my spine. I shivered, swallowed and turning slowly, came face to face with the man I had spent a decade trying to forget. This had been my one dread, to see the love of my entire life still here.

‘I could say the same for you,’ I stammered, feeling like that young inexperienced girl all over again. He had already got me melting out of my clothes just with his voice.

Smiling, his white perfectly formed teeth showed in a clean shaven beautifully tanned face. ‘I got the opportunity to come back as a Respiratory Consultant. Couldn’t pass it up really.’

I continued to look at him with a goofy, helpless grin until a large foot hit my shin. I blinked and somehow returned to my usual sarcasm I often used when I couldn’t cope. ‘Well we are getting grand in our old age. So do I need to call you ‘sir’ whenever I see you John, especially as I will be just an ordinary nurse?’

He smiled again, his brown velvety eyes darkening ‘You have never been ordinary Christy, so why would I expect you to be now? You haven’t changed either. Still looking youthful and…. Do you still have the glow?’ He bent down and looked straight into my face looking at my eyes.

I laughed now for I was hugely embarrassed and looked at Sonya who was staring open mouthed at us both.

‘Still as cheeky as ever I see, you should know better than that with your high status.’ Feeling myself blush I quickly turned around keen to avoid those delicious eyes of his.

Placing one hand on my chair and bending over whispering into my ear, “I am still the same man inside and out that you knew so well Christy. We will speak again I am keen to hear how life has and is treating you.” His breath fanned my hair, ‘Amazing, life gets better, new job, new start and now you.’ He stood up and walked away, leaving me feeling completely bereft for a moment. I shook my head and recovered myself, I took another sip of my now lukewarm coffee, desperate to steady the sudden, violent hammering in my chest. I looked up at Sonya who still stared at me.

‘Well say something woman have you never met a consultant before in your nursing life?’

‘Yes but that one is so amazingly different. He’s handsome, probably rich and…’

‘Married with 3 children!’ I interrupted curtly.

‘So are you lass. The difference is sweetie that the sparks remain between you, so I am not leaving here until you tell me all.’

I looked around me to see who was nearby, it was late morning with not many people about so I launched into the tale of what I thought was the greatest love of my life, for I knew she would not leave until I divested something of what happened many years before.

‘There’s not a great deal to tell really except for the heartache that this ill fated relationship left me with.’ I paused wondering where to start. ‘He was a young newly qualified house doctor and the ward I worked on was his first ward, if you like. I was a newly qualified nurse and fancied myself. This was all before I got married anyway but I was convinced I was going to save the world from all ills and diseases. I believe he felt the same for a while. So we laughed together over silly little incidents that occurred on the ward on a daily basis. We developed a great working relationship together and everybody commented on it. We were truly brilliant together and his Consultant (boss) told him he would go a long way.’ I paused again not sure how to continue as even now it was painful.

‘One day we were working on a patients wound that had come undone during a sterile procedure. I was going to take the patient for surgery, to be re-sutured. He was bleeding profusely, so we all ran, including John, with the porters pushing the bed up to theatre. I was on top of the bed holding onto the man’s wound to try to staunch the blood. Suddenly John jumped onto the bed next to me and started pumping his chest. The man had arrested (Cardiac Arrest is when the heart stops working) so we worked to get him back to life. When we reached the theatre, I had to leave and let the surgeons to repair his body. Both John and I stood outside the theatre window looking in when suddenly our hands seemed to come together and entwine. He looked at our hands, then at me and smiled. I was lost forever in those dark brown eyes. I sensed he felt the same and returned his smile and we walked together out of the theatre. That was how it all began.
Thankfully I now have my husband to go home to”. I paused again, viewing it in my mind’s eye.

Sonya gripped my hand. ‘Well, what happened next, don’t leave me hanging on, I need to know what happened. I’ll never look at him the same again I don’t care who he is.’

I didn’t want to say anymore, not yet.’ Let me go home and lick my wounds. It’s been a long day and it looks like I’ve not got the position I came for. I’ll call you Sonya, when I hear.’ I couldn’t say anymore, for even now 35 years later, it was still unbelievably raw.

Hah, hah, hah. Surprise, surprise. They want me to work with them. Why am I surprised I hear you ask? Well to be honest, I’m sometimes as daft as a bat and in my interview (on reflection) I said some stupid things. I often open my mouth first and think afterwards and say it like it actually is (not a good trait methinks). Still they seemed to like me and I start in four weeks. So looking forward to it but first things first I have to have my uniforms fitted, which I dread.

MY FIRST DAY.

My first day, I have put on my uniform and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was totally shocked, I must have put on at least a stone since I received the uniforms, which was literally four weeks ago. What’s going on? My ass is huge in this dress, I thought these calf length dresses were supposed to slim you down. Well guess what, they don’t! I now must start to lose some weight, something I am always trying at least once a month. And I always start on a Monday, finishing it virtually on the Tuesday.

Every single person I saw today is as thin as a stick and oh, so young. What was I thinking? Did I want to give them the benefit of my experience or did I think I was going to learn a thing or two because by the look of these youngsters, I would say they want to teach me, not the other way round. Hey ho let’s see. (It’s funny really but as I write this I want to write it in text speak). Ah, this fast paced world worsens day by day, but I revel in it and providing I keep up with the youngsters, I can accomplish anything.

Already I have made loads of new friend’s; the girls on the ward are so lovely. There is one particular girl, in her middle twenties, she is one of the senior nurses and is so beautiful in a sophisticated way, with her long blonde hair (tied back in a neat platt) and deep blue eyes. She could have been a model, but no, she is my mentor and although at first she seems lovely and kind, I have a feeling things will not remain that way. She is a super efficient nurse with an alert briskness that makes me think she may soon lose her patience with me if I show the slightest sign of weakness or put a foot wrong. (I could be doing the lass down, but I don’t think so as life experience tells me otherwise).