Starlight in the Dawn

2025 Young Or Golden Writer
Book Cover Image
Logline or Premise
At the dawn of civilization, the daughter of Sargon the Great and a high priestess confronted the intrigue of politics. Intimidated when alone, she faced down the king, not fearing the stakes—the event had its consequences.
This is a gripping story about Enheduanna; her story is based on her words.
First 10 Pages - 3K Words Only

I

1

A GIFT

t was the dawn of civilization, an age of fear. Fear of the gods,

fear of the sword. It was also an age of hope, for the gods made

men not to suffer, but to survive. The year was 2286 BCE.

Ninlil, a girl in her teens, emerged from the door of her uncle’s

pottery shop and stepped onto the sandy street of the city of Ur on the

banks of the Euphrates. She strode across to the other side of the

shop, inverted a pitcher, dusted o the bottom, and sat on it. Uncle

Mashda, the proprietor, had gone to the rear to feed his donkeys,

leaving her in charge of pots and mugs, casks and cups, jars and jugs

all stoneware, all for sale.

The city was abuzz at the early hour. On the other side of the road

in front, customers were assembling at the city market gate. The road

was still empty. Ninlil watched the crowd for a while and closed her

eyes, raising her face to the morning sun. She took a deep breath and

opened her eyes. Then she saw the man.

She spotted the handsome fellow passing through the crowd and

crossing the road, the only person on the move, heading straight

towards her. His head was bare, with black locks dancing on his shoul

ders. He was cleanshaven, and he wore no shoes. Cradling an object in

both hands, he strode with ease over the gravelly terrain and stopped a

few feet before her. Ninlil looked around for her uncle.

3

“Silim. Are you the potter’s niece who works at the temple?” the

man asked in a deep voice and with a foreign accent.

“Yes, of course. Silim,” Ninlil greeted back with a smile. The word

was Akkadian, meaning “peace be with you,” and was fashionable now

among the Sumerian youth.

“Milady, they call me Beshi.” With a thud, the stranger set down

the pitcher he was carrying.

Ninlil rose. The object stood nearly to her waist. The man had the

physique of a worker, but his hands were not coarse like those of a

laborer. She noticed his leather belt held by a big bronze buckle. He

bowed deeply, folding his arm across the chest, his hand reaching for

his shoulder.

“My master sent this present to be handed over to the high

priestess at the temple.”

Ninlil’s back stiened. She was surprised at the formal way she was

being addressed. She was not even eighteen. Never before had she

been greeted and treated like a lady. So much respect just because she

was an employee of the temple?

“Do you mean High Priestess Enheduanna?” she snapped, raising

her chin.

“Yes, milady.”

The stranger had introduced himself but not mentioned any other

names.

She tried to adopt a deep tone. “Who is your master? Who sent

this pitcher?”

He said, “Just tell the priestess, ‘Aqqi.’ We will be leaving tomorrow

with the caravan.”

He took three steps back and, after another bow, swiveled on his

heels. Free of burden, he hurried away, leaping like a youth over one of

the numerous potholes in the road.

Brushing aside a tress from her forehead, Ninlil looked out again

for her uncle. The customers might come up at any moment. She

wanted to be relieved of the role of a shopkeeper, for she was not good

at haggling, much less bartering wares for all kinds of goods they would

oer in exchange, even milk, eggs, and livestock. This was not her

business. She worked the whole week in the temple, doing all kinds of

jobs involving the kitchen. On this day, she would be procuring

4

groceries at the market, some six to ten items she had memorized. She

would also carry clay tablets for the priestess to write hymns and

prayers. For this purpose, she could stay away from the temple one day

a week.

This was also a special day for her to be with Enmerkar, her uncle’s

assistant. He was away to pick up some articles to repair the potter’s

wheel. He would be back any moment now, and they could continue

with their plans for their wedding. She hoped her uncle could aord a

celebration.

As of now, there was no noise. Pretty soon, livestock, like sheep

and goats, would be driven to the market. The event would be

announced by dust rising all over and the din of the animals, but as of

now, the only sign of activity was the distant hammering of the bronze

smith far down the road: bang, bang, bang, and after a pause, again,

bang, bang, and so it would go on for hours.

“Who was that Nillina?” her uncle Mashda called out from the rear.

He came around the corner, a diminutive figure, middleaged and with

a stoop. Ninlil had been named after the goddess of the air. He was the

only person who fondly called her Nillina, the other name for the same

goddess.

She explained the encounter with the stranger, pointing out the

pitcher. Mashda hurried over to this newcomer to his hoard and bent

down to scrutinize it. As the most senior potter in town, it was natural

for him to examine this item not of his creation. He knelt before it and

tilted it to look at its base. He shook his head.

“Nothing there.”

Ninlil knew what he meant. A potter put his emblem on that spot

to claim his authorship. Mashda would have put his trademark, a

pentagram. She stood there, watching her uncle, who was stroking the

surface of the pitcher with his fingertips. Then, as if inspired, he

stroked his chin. She found it amusing the way he peered at each side

of the object as if it were a statue. He had a deep frown and kept

rubbing his chin all the while; she could not tell whether it was an

expression of disapproval or appreciation. He was applying all his

senses for the evaluation, for he even knocked on it and turned his

head to listen to the clang. Would he also sni at it and lick it?

“Quite a few designs are Akkadian, with some script in between.

5

H

Of course, I cannot read those symbols.” He pointed to the cuneiform

inscriptions. “But I find such scribble not the least artistic. The

symbols look like ‘the prints of chicken claws on mud,’ as they say.” He

shook his head.

“Hmmm. Otherwise, it’s well done,” he added as he stretched

himself and laid his hand on the small of his back.

“Good craftsmanship,” was his final verdict, accompanied by a

grimace as he patted his spine. “Don’t try to move it. It’ll be quite

heavy. When Enmerkar comes, he’ll bring it indoors. You can take it to

the priestess tomorrow. Our best donkey, Asu, can carry it.”

“Yes, of course,” Ninlil replied.

“I wonder what all this is about,” he murmured. “I have never seen

a pitcher like this. The priestess ought to know. None of our business.”

ead Priestess Enheduanna was at prayer. As usual, she had

gone up a terraced structure to greet the morning star,

symbolizing goddess Inanna. It was common knowledge

among the personnel that the priestess had developed her own method

of prayer she called “prayer in motion” to keep the mind and body

intact; while praying, she would bend and stretch her body, kneeling

every now and then and even doing some pushups, all with her eyes

closed.

She took a deep breath, raising her arms until her hands were

pointing to the sky. After the long ritual, she would descend from the

ziurat back to earth to attend to the mundane matters of the day.

Damkina was standing at the foot of the ziurat, waiting for her

superior. As her right hand and also a factotum looking after all odd

jobs connected with the temple complex, Damkina hardly had time

left for a break, least of all for plain waiting, except in situations like

this. She had to pass on something important to the priestess. Instead

of fretting, she had accepted this as an inevitable break.

At long last, she saw the priestess sprinting down the stairs of the

terrace. Her elegant figure was backlit by the rising sun. Damkina

could only discern her silhouette, but judging from her pace, High

Priestess Enheduannawhen out of earshot, referred to as “Hedu” by

6

the personnelappeared to be in her usual high spirits. Quite tall for a

Sumerian, she moved with a sporty gait, supported by the lanky grace

of her figure. She was clad in a simple creamcolored tunic and a blue

headband to hold back her hair from falling on her shoulders.

Damkina moved towards her. “Excuse me, madam, I am sorry to

disturb you so early after your prayers.”

“Never mind.” Enheduana was slightly out of breath. “The day has

begun. What is the matter?” she asked with a smile in her usual tone,

pleasant but always sounding urgent, sonorous but not somnolent, a

wakeup call, never a lullaby. She looked at Damkina’s hands, which

held a clay tablet.

“Your scribe gave this to me a while ago,” Damkina said, stretching

out her hand. “He said you had asked for a list of the woolen products

we have ready for export.”

Hedu picked up the tablet and inspected it. “Yes, of course. That is

important. Thank you.”

The temple had other activities besides worship and religious

festivities. It had in its possession onethird of the farmland outside

the city walls, as well as a large number of textile looms for woolen

products meant to be shipped abroad, with the river as the outlet.

Damkina did not leave. She stood there, biting her lip, and added,

“Will you allow a comment on my part, please?”

“Go ahead.” Hedu smiled, waving the tablet.

“With all respect, madam, let me air my views. At times, I wonder

if the administration is becoming overwhelmed beyond our capacity.

We, at the temple, are attending to so many activities.”

“By tradition, we have to be in charge of all these activities,”

Enheduanna said. “We cannot shun them. A city has evolved with the

temple. Aside from worship and pleasing the gods, attending to culti

vation and harvesting of our farms, the storage of food, and the

production of woolen products are major functions of the temple.”

“We could leave some of these activities to the city corporation to

attend to,” Damkina replied, not convinced.

Hedu laughed. It was not meant to mock or belittle Damkina’s

views. With a toss of her head, she indicated her scorn was directed

elsewhere. “It would be a boon if the city authorities attended to their

present duties and remedied the worldly worries of the citizens. They

7

are neglecting housing, streets, sewage, and security. They have their

duties, and we have ours. It is good if our mutual responsibility

towards the public is separated and there is no conflict. It is for the

public good.”

“I understand.”

“Cheer up, Damkina. We can manage all the problems posed to us.

We need no assistance from outside if that is what you mean.”

Damkina cleared her throat. “But we also have to attend to our

duty of spiritual guidance.”

“Quite right. That is our prime vocation. For sure, there is enough

evil in the world, enough misery. As individuals, devotees may even

need help. But we cannot deal with the life of each and every one. We

can only attend to our duties in the temple with rituals to please the

gods to benefit mankind as a whole and thereby all the devotees wher

ever they are. Those who come to the temple can follow our example

and pray here, and they should also do so at home.”

“Yes, of course.”

Enmerkar had been at the market near the city gate, making

purchases for the potter, but he’d had no luck in procuring an article

for his own use which he had been seeking for a long while: a glue

made from fish bladders for a bow he was developing. On the way back

to the pottery shop, he wanted to try his luck again at the city market.

Near the entrance, two lads had been loading baskets, casks, and

barrels onto a rickety cart. The heap was not properly balanced and

began swaying. Enmerkar was about to call out to them when the cart’s

axle gave in, and the cart tilted backward in one jerk. He saw a girl of

about ten passing the cart from behind. Then the load came tumbling

down. Amid the noise, the girl let out a cry and disappeared beneath

the cascading objects. A man nearby was quick to dive under to save

her. Enmerkar ran up to the scene; the last piece fell o from the cart.

Under the objects strewn all around, he saw the girl’s hand. He seized

it and pulled her out through a narrow gap. She jumped up, unhurt, but

was too scared to utter a word.

He shouted to her, “Run, run!”

The stench of putrid vegetables reeked in the humid air. There was

a sound under the heap from the man still entrapped. Enmerkar

jumped over a mound of debris, sprinted to the other side, and spotted

8

him. He pushed away two barrels and made a way out for the man.

With Enmerkar’s help, the man managed to crawl out. He had shielded

the girl with his body and saved her from getting crushed.

The rescuer rose slowly, brushing o the dust and waste from his

clothes. He stumbled a bit and then steadied himself and adjusted his

belt, which was adorned with a huge buckle. He had scratches and

bruises but was otherwise unhurt. In the meantime, a crowd had gath

ered. The lads had been joined by passersby, and there was At long last, she saw the priestess sprinting down the stairs of the

terrace. Her elegant figure was backlit by the rising sun. Damkina

could only discern her silhouette, but judging from her pace, High

Priestess Enheduannawhen out of earshot, referred to as “Hedu” by

6

the personnelappeared to be in her usual high spirits. Quite tall for a

Sumerian, she moved with a sporty gait, supported by the lanky grace

of her figure. She was clad in a simple creamcolored tunic and a blue

headband to hold back her hair from falling on her shoulders.

Damkina moved towards her. “Excuse me, madam, I am sorry to

disturb you so early after your prayers.”

“Never mind.” Enheduana was slightly out of breath. “The day has

begun. What is the matter?” she asked with a smile in her usual tone,

pleasant but always sounding urgent, sonorous but not somnolent, a

wakeup call, never a lullaby. She looked at Damkina’s hands, which

held a clay tablet.

“Your scribe gave this to me a while ago,” Damkina said, stretching

out her hand. “He said you had asked for a list of the woolen products

we have ready for export.”

Hedu picked up the tablet and inspected it. “Yes, of course. That is

important. Thank you.”

The temple had other activities besides worship and religious

festivities. It had in its possession onethird of the farmland outside

the city walls, as well as a large number of textile looms for woolen

products meant to be shipped abroad, with the river as the outlet.

Damkina did not leave. She stood there, biting her lip, and added,

“Will you allow a comment on my part, please?”

“Go ahead.” Hedu smiled, waving the tablet.

“With all respect, madam, let me air my views. At times, I wonder

if the administration is becoming overwhelmed beyond our capacity.

We, at the temple, are attending to so many activities.”

“By tradition, we have to be in charge of all these activities,”

Enheduanna said. “We cannot shun them. A city has evolved with the

temple. Aside from worship and pleasing the gods, attending to culti

vation and harvesting of our farms, the storage of food, and the

production of woolen products are major functions of the temple.”

“We could leave some of these activities to the city corporation to

attend to,” Damkina replied, not convinced.

Hedu laughed. It was not meant to mock or belittle Damkina’s

views. With a toss of her head, she indicated her scorn was directed

elsewhere. “It would be a boon if the city authorities attended to their

present duties and remedied the worldly worries of the citizens. They

7

are neglecting housing, streets, sewage, and security. They have their

duties, and we have ours. It is good if our mutual responsibility

towards the public is separated and there is no conflict. It is for the

public good.”

“I understand.”

“Cheer up, Damkina. We can manage all the problems posed to us.

We need no assistance from outside if that is what you mean.”

Damkina cleared her throat. “But we also have to attend to our

duty of spiritual guidance.”

“Quite right. That is our prime vocation. For sure, there is enough

evil in the world, enough misery. As individuals, devotees may even

need help. But we cannot deal with the life of each and every one. We

can only attend to our duties in the temple with rituals to please the

gods to benefit mankind as a whole and thereby all the devotees wher

ever they are. Those who come to the temple can follow our example

and pray here, and they should also do so at home.”

“Yes, of course.”

Enmerkar had been at the market near the city gate, making

purchases for the potter, but he’d had no luck in procuring an article

for his own use which he had been seeking for a long while: a glue

made from fish bladders for a bow he was developing. On the way back

to the pottery shop, he wanted to try his luck again at the city market.

Near the entrance, two lads had been loading baskets, casks, and

barrels onto a rickety cart. The heap was not properly balanced and

began swaying. Enmerkar was about to call out to them when the cart’s

axle gave in, and the cart tilted backward in one jerk. He saw a girl of

about ten passing the cart from behind. Then the load came tumbling

down. Amid the noise, the girl let out a cry and disappeared beneath

the cascading objects. A man nearby was quick to dive under to save

her. Enmerkar ran up to the scene; the last piece fell o from the cart.

Under the objects strewn all around, he saw the girl’s hand. He seized

it and pulled her out through a narrow gap. She jumped up, unhurt, but

was too scared to utter a word.

He shouted to her, “Run, run!”

The stench of putrid vegetables reeked in the humid air. There was

a sound under the heap from the man still entrapped. Enmerkar

jumped over a mound of debris, sprinted to the other side, and spotted

8

him. He pushed away two barrels and made a way out for the man.

With Enmerkar’s help, the man managed to crawl out. He had shielded

the girl with his body and saved her from getting crushed.

The rescuer rose slowly, brushing off the dust and waste from his

clothes.

Comments

Stewart Carry Fri, 18/04/2025 - 15:25

The writer has a gift of bringing the world of his novel to life, using language to convey the colours, sights and sounds of a time long past in such a way that we feel we are witnesses rather than readers. The only reservation I have is that we meet a lot of characters within this brief excerpt which could become a cause of confusion if we are not guided in one particular direction sooner rather than later.

Falguni Jain Wed, 07/05/2025 - 20:02

Great descriptions and a promising protagonist. However, there is no hook, which affects the pacing. The story would benefit from a tighter opening to draw readers in sooner. A round of proofreading is also needed to polish the writing and enhance overall clarity and flow.

Naveen Sridhar Sat, 17/05/2025 - 08:25

The book received

Global Book Award in 2021

Pencraft Book Award in 2025