Andrew Prax

Excellent...intriguing and fully engaging with a great hook.

It definitely pulls you in quickly and is an intriguing start to the screenplay. The writing has an urgency that keeps you plowing forward.

The logline might need massaging, unless the mindreading is the latest twist, as it implies in the script that this is has been an ongoing problem.

A compelling start.

This quickly draws us in builds interest, tension and suspense effectively. There is focused, visceral writing with a nice sense of characters. Good eye for detail to build tension and suspense. As the piece is about the ability to read minds, the intriguing opening during the spelling test might hint at this a bit, such as if the girl sitting next to her is clearly struggling with the work, thus hinting at her having loud thoughts.

Focused writing and a sense of a developed voice that deftly conveys backstory in dynamic action.

An interesting idea

A lot of potential and room to expand. A low page count allows for more back story, more characters and to explain more of the how/why. I was drawn in immediately and was dying to know more about Alex and Elizabeth. It has a Supernatural/Divergent series vibe and could use some massaging. Felt it built up nicely and poof was over. Good start and hope it develops more.