Thank you for sharing your insights and providing specific examples in my manuscript critique. I will definitely find this useful in making further revisions on the novel.
I found the suggestions useful, although I will put any examples you provided into my own words and voice.
It is valuable to have a line editor go through your vision and point out how it could be made clearer to a potential reader. Often, a writer 'knows' what they want to say or what the character is experiencing and yet filters it precisely because, as the author, they 'already know everything', and we may forget the 'reader' does not know unless we put it on the page.
Thanks again for such an in-depth manuscript critique on my first ten pages!
