The Canterbury Middle School Mystery

The Canterbury Middle School Mystery

Chapter 1

Carrots

Today’s the first day of seventh grade at my new school, Canterbury Middle School, and all I can say is, “This. School. Is. Weird.” Why, you ask? Well, for one thing like half the kids are wearing old-timey looking costumes. Like dresses and tuxedos. The kid in front of me is actually wearing a plastic suit of armor, complete with helmet. When I asked a kid why they’re having costume day on the first day of school, he looked at me like I was the crazy one.

I’m sitting in a classroom that’s about half a normal-sized classroom and it’s lit with oil lamps instead of electric lights. There are no posters on the walls or any of the decorations teachers normally put up that make you feel like you’re at school. And instead of a flexible plastic chair, I’m sitting on a hard wooden chair not made to fit a human butt. Ten minutes in and my butt is screaming (not literally). It’s like I stepped into a time machine this morning and went back 100 years. Wait, maybe I’m on one of those prank TV shows. Let me check the ceiling for hidden cameras. Not seeing anything.

My teacher, Ms. Eyre (pronounced like ‘air’), is a small lady who looks young for a teacher. She’s wearing a black dress with white lace at the top and a matching bonnet, if you know what that is. She’s already writing on the chalkboard (yes, a real chalkboard), diagramming a sentence. At my old school, on the first day all the teachers would do was talk about what we were going to be doing throughout the year, not just start immediately with advanced work. My brain needs to be eased into learning, like slow-walking the steps into a cold swimming pool. And on top of all that, I can barely understand her because she talks a mile a minute with the thickest British accent you’ve ever heard.

Speaking of my old school, Jackson Heights Middle School, I’m just gonna come out and say it. I was kind of ‘The Man’ there. My best friends Mac and Brody and I basically owned the school, and I was the leader of our group. I was also dating the most popular girl in school, Parker, who’s not only pretty, but she’s good at sports too. But we broke up because my parents decided that it’d be a good idea for me to go to a school 30 minutes away that is kind of an ABSOLUTE FREAK SHOW!

As if proving my point, the kid to my left whispers the word 'carrots' for seemingly no reason. He’s a black kid wearing a fancy black suit and even a top hat. Then he says it louder. “Carrots.”

Oh, he’s saying it to the red-headed girl in front of him, but she’s ignoring him. As if to make sure she'd notice him, the kid reaches out and yanks on one of her auburn braids.

Before I could even blink, the girl whips around in her chair with her tablet raised and smashes it down on his dome. Thwack! Lucky for him his top hat takes the brunt of it. She stares him down, shaking with rage. Her brown freckles on her pink face are getting darker as she’s getting angrier.

“Annie Gabler, what did you do?” asks Ms. Eyre.

“I’ll hate you as long as I live, Liam Darcy!” She busts out crying and runs out of the door at the back of the class.

Ms. Eyre chases after her, “Return to the classroom at once, Ms. Gabler.”

I told you this school is weird.

That kid in the plastic knight costume in front of me (remember him?) stands up and faces the boy who called that girl ‘carrots,’ whose top hat is all wonky now.

“How dawe thee assault the faiw maiden! I challenge thee to a duel, Liam Dawcy.” What he means is, “How dare thee assault the fair maiden. . .” but he has trouble saying his r’s.

“Upon my honor, I accept your challenge,” Top Hat Boy stands and gets in Knight Boy’s face, or he would be in his face if Knight Boy wasn’t so short. I guess this is how you start a fight at this school?

But before anyone throws a punch or anything, Ms. Eyre steps back into the doorway and quickly assesses the situation. “Mr. Darcy, you must come with me to Principal Jeff’s office, where you will apologize to Annie at once. Donnie, sit back down, young man.”

Top Hat Boy walks toward Ms. Eyre, and Armor Kid, Donnie I guess, shouts after him:

I challenge thee, to a duel

At the park, after school

“You will do no such thing, Donnie. Now come, Liam,” instructs the teacher.

The door closes behind her and Liam. Holy butts. This place is intense. I’m shaking a little even thought I wasn’t a part of it. The medieval knight kid gets back in his chair on his knees, still facing the back of the classroom. I can see his eyes under his visor, staring over my head at the back door. Then he looks down and our eyes meet.

“What a foul creature,” he says to me. “Is there no longer honor in the land of Canterbury?” His visor falls down, so he lifts it back up. He has big, innocent dark eyes. That’s all I can see of his face other than his brown skin.

“Um, I guess not.” I can feel everyone’s eyes on us.

“What kind of fiend would pull an innocent girl’s hair and call hew carrots in front of the whole class?”

“Uh, I don’t know.”

“I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of introducing myself.” He reaches his hand out to me and I shake it, hoping that will bring a quick end to our interaction.

“I am the brave knight Don Quinones, but everyone calls me Donnie. I am sure that you have already heard of my many adventures. And who are you, good sir?”

“My name’s Everett Mann.” It’s like I’ve found myself in a really cringey play, with a confused audience looking on (the rest of the class). Get me out of here.

“Everett Mann.” His eyes squint when he says my name, so he must be smiling. “That is a noble name. A noble name indeed.”

“I say, how’s about you si’ down and shu’ up?” commands a voice from the back of the room. I turn and see a kid who’s so big, his legs barely fit under his desk. He’s wearing shabby clothes, but again, not shabby clothes from this century—a gray hat, what should be a white dress shirt but is kind of brown, suspenders, and short gray pants. “You look ridiculous wiff your knight costume. And don’t fink we forgot about your nappy teeff because you’re wearin’ a helmet.”

“Billy Sykes,” Donnie says vengefully. “Not only shall I vanquish Liam Darcy today, but I shall vanquish thee as well. At the same time.”

“Bring i’ on, you—”

The door opens, and everyone shuts up as Ms. Eyre walks back in.

“Now where were we, class?”

I have no clue what Ms. Eyre was talking about before the interruption, but I do know that I would not want to be this Donnie kid after school.

Chapter 2

The Battle

Woohoo. I survived my first day at this crazy school. I’m walking home now, and when I say I’m walking home, it’s probably not what you’re picturing.

So, I live in a really big city. I mean, really big. And Canterbury Middle School isn’t a normal school. It’s what they call a magnet school—and don’t ask me why.

Anyway, most people in the city go to the middle school closest to where they live, like I did last year, but some people get selected to go to a special school that focuses on a certain subject that they’re good at, like STEM or acting, or literature in my case. And since the students at a magnet school are from all different parts of town, the way most of us get to school is by taking the subway. I’ve been allowed to take the subway by myself since last year, and if that sounds like a big deal, trust me, it’s not. All you have to do is scan your pass once you’re in the station, and then if you see a weirdo on the train, which is not rare, sit by a normal grown-up. I’m even allowed to buy breakfast on the way to school for the first week. A treat from my parents to ease their guilt for sending me off to this school.

Anyway, I’m walking on the sidewalk toward the subway station, dodging adults walking the other way. On three sides of me—in front, behind, and to my left—are glass skyscrapers, shooting up into the sky like giant, shiny swords. I realize the idea of walking around the city like a grownup is super cool to most kids my age, but I’m kind of used to it. What’s cooler to me is what’s to my right—a beautiful park, filled with rolling hills and green trees and dog walkers and bicycle riders. If that sounds basic or mid to you, you probably live in the suburbs or something, where parks are everywhere.

What kind of school building is right in the middle of all these skyscrapers, you ask? Well, whatever you’re picturing, I guarantee you’re wrong. So there are two buildings for Canterbury Middle School. The main one looks like a giant mansion, out of place in the middle of all the tall buildings. It’s red brick, three stories tall, with ivy climbing up the walls. There’s probably like 50 rooms inside, which I think used to be big bedrooms that have been turned into classrooms. Next door to the mansion building is what looks like a tall church with stained glass windows and everything, but it’s been converted into our gym.

My mom went nuts when they called and told her I was selected to go to this school. She said it meant I had talent and that it was a huge opportunity. Oh, now I get it. It’s a magnet school because it like sucks in all the kids in the city who are talented at whatever the school’s specialty is. Anyway, when Mom told me I was going to this school, I definitely didn't go nuts. Not in the good way at least. I liked my old school, near my apartment, where like I said before, I was really popular. But my parents said it wasn’t my decision. I think I could have worn Mom down and talked her into sending me back to Jackson Heights, but there was no chance with Dad. I mean, I guess I could become popular here too. Like, that kind of thing comes with you because of your personality, if you’re an alpha or a sigma. And as for looks, my girlfriend Parker said she liked my sandy blonde hair and that I have a cute smile. But it’s not the same. I miss my bros. And the kids here are so weird. Well, who knows. Maybe they’re all right once you get to know them. And it’s not like I have a choice. Anyway, I'm thinking over all of this while I walk toward the subway when an unmistakable voice brings my thoughts to a screeching halt.

“Gweetings, Siw Evewett Mann. Will you do me the honor of being my squire?” Oh butts. Donnie’s right behind me. Duh, I bet a lot of kids go to the same subway station as me to get home.

“Squire? No. I don’t even know what a squire is.”

He catches up to me, running ahead of an adult engrossed in her cell phone, laughing at something. The top of Donnie’s helmet comes to my chin.

“A squire is someone who assists a knight during battle. You will assist me when I fight Liam and Billy, but you have my word that you will not have to take part in the battle.”

Ah dooky butt. Believe it or not, I forgot about Donnie’s ‘battle.’ Like, it was on my mind all day at school, but once I got outside, it was like my whole day was a weird dream that had nothing to do with the real world. “You’re still going to fight those guys? Where?”

“At the park,” he points to the right. “Remember?”

I look through the black, iron fence at the closely mown, green hills. Oh park, as in the only park in the city. For some reason I was picturing a little playground with swing sets and slides, which makes no sense now that I think about it.

He looks up at me with his big, brown eyes. “All you have to do is hold my phone during the battle, and upon my signal, push this button.” He hands me his phone, with a big red button that says Push on the screen.

“Huh? What does it do?”

“It’s a surprise. But whatever you do, don’t push it until I give my signal, which is, ‘The chickens are in the coop.’”

“Why not just say, ‘Push the button?’”

“I can see you know nothing of the life of a warrior, Everett Mann. Just trust me.” He adjusts his backpack, which definitely clashes with his suit of armor.

I sigh. “Listen Donnie, I don’t think you should fight those guys. That one kid is huge. Why don’t you just go straight home and everyone will forget there was supposed to be a fight today.” I hold out his phone to him, hoping he will listen to reason.

He snatches it out of my hand.

“Be gone with you then, Everett Mann.” Donnie runs ahead of me and scornfully says over his shoulder, “maybe you’re not much of a man after all.”

I slow down to let him get some distance from me. I think I did the right thing. I mean, I don't want to encourage a kid who I'm pretty sure is special needs to get in fights, right? But maybe I should at least go and make sure he doesn’t get hurt.

“’ey new kid. Where’s your best friend?” I hear someone say behind me.

It’s Billy Sykes, the big kid with the hat and shabby outfit. With him are five others, boys and girls, including Liam Darcy, the hair puller, who has removed his top hat to reveal an afro the shape of the inside of his hat, a perfect cylinder. Also with them is a cute girl with blonde hair up in a bun named Tina Bell (I mean, the girl’s name is Tina Bell. Her hair bun probably doesn’t have a name.) She’s wearing a short, green dress. Out of the group of six, I take note that the red-haired girl whose hair was pulled is not with them.

“He’s not my friend,” I say.

“He’s the only kid I’ve seen you speak with all day,” Tina Bell points out haughtily.

“Well, now I’m speaking with you.”

“You wish,” she says, and the group laughs.

And they’re laughing at me. We'll see who's laughing after a few weeks when they realize that I'm a cool kid too.

At this point, I catch sight of Donnie again, off to the right near the entrance to the park, hands on his hips. Facing him is a girl from our school wearing a blue dress. She has auburn hair with a light blue bow in the back, tying up spiral curls. She turns around and I see a worried look on her face. Her extremely pretty face.

“I didn’t think you cowards would show up,” Donnie yells at us.

“I wou’n’t miss this,” Billy yells back.

There are a few adults walking past the park entrance, looking at their phones, oblivious to us. A couple jogs into the park but if they notice a fight is about to start, they pretend they don’t.

“I’ll wage battle with both of you at once,” shouts Donnie.

“Sounds good ta me,” replies Billy.

“Upon my honor,” says Liam, “I will not.”

“Donnie, you mustn’t do this,” pleads the girl in the blue dress. “Annie would never want it so.”

“I agree with her, Donnie,” I say. “This is a bad idea.”

Donnie hands me his phone again. "Remember, 'the chickens are in the coop.'"

As I take the phone, Billy says to me, “I thought you said that ‘e isn’t your friend.”

Oh butts.

“That’s exactly what he said,” confirms Tina.

Double Butts! Donnie looks at me with these sad puppy dog eyes under his visor. Why did I even say that I wasn’t his friend?

“I don’t need a squire anyway,” Donnie says through tears. “Step forward, Billy Sykes.”

Billy steps out of the crowd and stands about two feet in front of Donnie, looking down at him.

Donnie grabs his helmet with both hands and takes it off. He has a mop of thick black hair, those innocent eyes, but the thing that jumps out seeing his face for the first time is his mouth. His teeth are kind of brown and rotten. Anyway, he sets his helmet down, pulls out his phone, and pushes the button.

Guess what the button does.

It doesn’t launch a robot attack, if that’s what you were thinking.

It’s much simpler than that. When he pushes the button, it—drops a beat!

“Are you ready for a rap battlllllllle?!”

Everyone looks at each other with confused faces as if they were making sure this moment was real. Then they bust out laughing. When their laughing stops, I can hear Donnie rapping:

My name is Donnie Q

I rap better than you

Your girlfriend is a wench

Your mama is one too