Logline or Premise
True story of High School Temptation, Insurance Haze, Stolen Resolution, and Murder
First 10 Pages - 3K Words Only
First Ten Pages of Nether Land
Children's Picture Book, Graphic Comic Book or Other Illustrated Book
Comments
It's an interesting premise…
It's an interesting premise and is very well written.
The submission creates…
The submission creates immediate intrigue by diving straight into the opening scene and maintains an engaging tone.
It's a great opening that…
It's a great opening that feels just a little too brief. I understand the need to go back and re-trace the historical links between the writer and Ed but it seems to me that we need to have a bit more insight into his murder (or the events leading up to it) prior to being presented with so much backstory. Is the funeral of a murdered acquaintance enough of a hook to keep the reader engaged?