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All the disgraced Chief Operating Officer of Universe Winner wants is to be left alone. But when his ex-lover and arch-enemy conspire to kidnap his family, he has to face the wreckage of his life.
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There are two issues here: 1…
There are two issues here: 1) It may be sci-fi but if it's too far-fetched, it's not relatable, and 2) if the script is designated as a comedy, it has to make the reader laugh. In my opinion, this excerpt fails on both counts. Is it fixable? Possibly but a rethink will be necessary, perhaps by making the premise clear from the outset and simplify the direction of the narrative so it's easy to follow.