MAKORONGO grows up on the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro, watching eagles with his friend HANS-WERNER. Life is idyllic until Makorongo’s thumb gets caught in a sisal shredder and WWI takes Hans to Germany.
In 1942, Makorongo joins the Allied Forces to prove himself a warrior and earn enough money to marry MERU, the daughter of ASHA, his chief. She promises to wait, but while driving an ambulance through the jungles of Burma, Makorongo is captured by the Japanese who force him to quarry stone near Tokyo. He meets up with TOKI, a fellow Tanganyikan, and three Kenyans, JABU, BRIGHT and KENYAN. They soon hear of the danger of American bombs from CHUCK, a Californian pilot shot down over the Pacific, who suspects that tunnels the Japanese are making prisoners dig will become their communal grave.
Back in Africa, Meru is being stalked by MGANGA, a witchdoctor who assumes he can purchase her as a fourth wi
Inspired by an eagle, and desperate to return to Meru, Makorongo determines to improve the camp by creating a stone garden. Chuck is horrified, but while Jabu is able to track the Japanese on Bright's freshly raked paths, Kenyan positions rocks to use as weapons. Makorongo grows apprehensive when German officer on a diplomatic mission arrives to see their impressive creation but is amazed to see it's Hans-Werner. On learning that his boyhood friend had driven for the Red Cross, Hans insists on his repatriation, but Makorongo refuses to leave without his African friends. Jabu then takes the risk of producing a jar of Marmite, proving that Japanese guards had been pillaging Red Cross parcels.
When Hans-Werner’s Jünker takes off, all five East Africans are on board. They look down to see Makorongo had used rocks to spell out the letters POW to alert Operation Meetinghouse pilots bombing Tokyo and save Chuck and the camp from destruction. After landing five times to refuel, they arrive in Silesia near Hans' family home. The Africans are amazed to see snow but Hans points out it has been visible on the summit of Kilimanjaro all their lives. Whilst he is posted to Moscow, Makorongo returns home able to present Asha with Meru’s bride-price. She is surprised to meet his skinny friends. Makorongo never told Hans that three of his fellow captives were from Kenya, knowing he would never have aided 'enemy agents'.
Comments
Echoes of "Slaughterhouse…
Echoes of "Slaughterhouse Five" - and a very human story about people living in impossible times. The Japanese are treated fairly, and that is the key to this story. No evil japs here, just people living impossible times. Bravo.
The hook is quite strong but…
The hook is quite strong but it feels as though there's a bit too much going on in the first ten pages. Too many characters and scene changes with no obvious inciting incident to give us a sense of direction or who the main protagonist is. Please note a number of issues with transitions and other 'technical' elements. Another edit that focuses on adding a moment of significant drama would make a big difference.