Can a married woman's heart hold another man?
It was said that rape is a sexual assault, sexual intercourse committed against a person without their consent, or the use of violence during intercourse. . . Whatever its definition; it is an accurate description of the intimate relationship with my husband. Honestly; I was raped under the blessing of law and religion too.
Every night I used to wake up with his heavy hands trying to wake me by force to have sex with him, I do not remember that he waited until he was sure that I woke up; Because he knew that penetration of his penis with such strength and cruelty able to wake me up all night and until the early hours of the morning.
Everyone knows that the worst result of rape is pregnancy, and the worst is to have a child as a result of that rape . . Unfortunately I gave birth to three, three children resulting in that crime and that violation which I was suffering every night . . My three children born of rape and were formally adopted in the name of the law.
I left my job and devoted myself to raising children and taking care of my family. After all, my husband was providing house needs and other financial wants. He is the man who enters the house carrying all kinds of food and drinks. Despite all of the shortages in our married life, his belly and my worries are increasing every day.
When we meet at the dining table, he begins to feed me and says: "I want you to gain more weight . . I don't like thin women . . I love chunky ass”. So every day, he recommends me to drink fat milk, add butter and ghee to the food and eat more sweets and dessert.
The years lost between the kitchen and the bedroom. I do not think of my life, didn't count the years that I lived except those hours in which I am looking for my children and taking care of them, as that is my true age.
Despite the ugliness and cruelty of that rape, it brought my three children; The sweetest love in my life .. Anyway; the gold comes from the dirt.
In the thirtieth episode of that famous Turkish series; Finally, the director seduced me . . Delicious Actor kisses managed to move and melt that frozen heart. I used to finish the cleaning, organizing the house, and preparing food quickly to watch the new episode.
The emotional drought that I was experiencing, my feminine needs which I was replacing with food, and all of my marginalized emotions led me to seek some feelings even if it was beyond the walls of my house. So I found everything that I was looking for on the TV screen; while I was looking at that charming actor; His lyrics . . Eye glances . . Warm whisper . . wonder how those kisses taste?! How is cuddling?! and what is the hug.
I want to know more about those confused feelings, so I went out of my room to the yard, I put the small seat near the wall of my neighbor, then went up to it to call her and talk a little, however, I want to share those questions with my friend.
As soon as I called on her, she came speeding, turning left and right. As unusual, she was wearing lipstick and a traditional vintage fragrance that women wear at night, A perfume fragrance which is used only in intimate moments between a woman and her husband.
- What happens, Sara, why are you confused?
- How long have you been here? Did you see anything?
- Anything like what? I went up on the seat to call you, to have coffee together.
Sara took her breath and looked behind, turned left, and right again, then said, "Okay, I will come right now".
What distinguishes the village most is the close-up houses with short walls that listen to the women’s conversations and waiting for them eagerly. The conversation is pleasant only when I am standing on this small bench, putting my hand on the top of the house’s wall, chatting with Sara while breaking the privacy of her little house. From my place, I can see the yard, the kitchen, the main gate, and even the living room if she leaves the door open. There is no place for secrets in the village. Even the doors of homes are always open.
I lit some of the firewood on the small stove because Sara loves coffee smells of wood, I put the coffee beans on the frying pan and started to roast them. Their exciting aroma rose to tell everyone there were some women gathered to tell the secrets; however coffee sessions in the village are not without gossip and secrets.
The coffee beans’ color began to change to brown, and their aroma increased sedition and temptation. I put one of the roasted grains in my mouth; crunched it, and left two for Sara, so we share this habit.
The rest of the beans put in a traditional stone hand grinding, I took the pistil and started grinding. The beats of the pistil are in harmony with a traditional melody that I was buzzing with. These beats are warm music that all the women in the village know to play.
Seeing the grains break down under this slow rhythm . . the water which their steam rose, tells me about the readiness to embrace the coffee and its scent . . Sugar beads in the cup . . and seeing Sara enter through the door; It was my most pleasure and the happiest moment of my life.
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Sara is the luscious one in the village . . A forty years old woman, tall and gorgeous. her color like wheat spikes when sunlight shines on them. She loves henna tattoos on her hands and feet, her hair is braided with these small braids. all the time she wears colorful bracelets on her hands and a long necklace wanders between her breasts . . The beads of her necklace are playful; attach to the right breast and then run to close the other . . longing . . so quickly returns to the breast that they left; A scene in which the body flirts with things. She also has gold earrings and anklets; rings to tell everyone that she is close.
When she turned fifteen years old, most of the men in the village came to propose marriage to her, but her father agreed to her cousin . . because he was a smart merchant so he would live a decent life with her.
A beautiful love story brought Sarah and her husband together. He knew that he had a treasure and he had to keep it, whenever he went out with her, he was sure that Sara is more than a treasure. Especially when he saw the eyes of the village’s men full of desire towards her and jealousy towards him.
My friend sat on the little bench near me, I gave her the two coffee beans that I hid for her, she snatched them from my hand and started to crunch them in love. “Mmmmm, I love to crunch those roasted grains".
I looked at her when she closed her eyes, relaxing as she enjoyed the flavor of the coffee, and remembered those eyes just a little before, how she was worried, tense-looking right and left . . What happens? And why is she wearing that perfume in the morning? Everyone knows that the sandal perfume mixed with musk and aromatic oils is a perfume for sexual relations, which is locked for a long time and many years, until becoming vintage. It is used only in the intimate moments between a woman and her husband. In every drop of it, there is fragrant excitement, an abundance of temptation, and charm.
Delusions messed in my mind and raised many questions, so I found myself wondering, "Is your husband today absent from work?".
Sarah replied in a confusion, "No, he went early to his work, and the children are in school. There is no one at home."
- Tell me, Sarah, does your husband kiss you before sexual intercourse?
She turned left and right and then spoke in a whisper, "Why are all these questions?"
"I was watching the series and I saw how the handsome actor flirts his mistress and puts his hot kisses on her lips. I was wondering, what is the taste of those kisses?".
Sara approached me while she was still speaking in the same whispering voice: "My husband kissed me in the first days of our marriage, but after a month passed since marriage, he penetrated his penis directly."
She sipped a little coffee and asked me laughing, "Did you try stripping off your clothes during sexual intercourse?
My eyes widened when I heard her question, then I answered where I was muttering, "No . . Do people take off their clothes? Do you mean that I get naked?".
She laughed again, took a sip of a cup of coffee as she looked at me in pity.
"Tell me, Sarah . . Why do I take off my clothes?! it is enough to take off my underwear, and my husband also, then raises his robes to the top of his stomach and I lift my dress so that he can penetrate his penis and we finish".
Sarah approached more as she still spoke in a whisper, "I will tell you a secret; Do you know the guy who came from the city to work in the pharmacy??"
- Yes. I always see him in the pharmacy.
- I also saw him when I went to buy medicine. He seemed to flirt with me . . I used to see my beauty in the mirror, but I did not feel it. Just when he told me that I am beautiful and glamorous . . and I am the most beautiful lady whose eyes have seen . . words I had never heard before . . I could not hold him back so I gave him my number and he started to call me every day.
- yeah . . continue.
- His voice on the phone melts my heart... He did not stop with those romantic words and that love, but rather he asked me to have sex on the phone.
- Sex on the phone?!! ; Everything you talked about today is weird, are you laughing at me?
- Wait, I'll explain it to you. He asked me to put my hand on my vagina and flirt with it when he talks to me so I feel like he makes love with me. . sometimes I caress my nipples and sometimes ... ".
- Sometimes what? Why are you quiet?
- I am ashamed to tell you ... the important thing is I missed him a lot when I began to imagine him with me and hear his voice and whispers on the phone.
- Are you satisfied with these conversations?
- No ... he came to my house.
- You did not scare that anyone would see you?
- I was afraid ... but my feeling of desire and love is greater.
- love?.
- Yes ... from the first love moment between us, when his lips touched my lips ... it was a slight touch, it looked like he was tasting a small berry with his lips, then I felt his tongue trying to enter between my lips to embrace my tongue. he licked my upper lip and close his lips to my lower lip, It wasn't just a kiss. Believe me, it was a flame of love that touched my heart from the inside.
- I can see the love in the sparkle of your eyes when you are talking about him.
- Love comes from touches, whispers, attention, and nice care... it's to make you feel that you are a real female.
- He seems to be an expert in love’s game!.
- An expert in spinning the feelings ... he took my neglected and scattered feelings and spun them by his hands, like the warm scarf that I made for the winter.
- And your husband? I think that you have a happy married life and respect?
- Maybe, but I'm sure that my feeling with that pharmacist is love . . I love him so much.
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I went back to my room while I was thinking about my actor’s kisses...
Sex on the phone!. . Caress and flirt without touches...
I imagined myself having sex while I am naked !.
Thinking of those feelings which came from the television and other feelings transmitted over the phone...
Rape with the approval of the law . . and love against the law.
And one question did not leave my mind; “ Can a married woman's heart hold Another man? "
