One Chair At A Time

It's a great premise and a powerful hook to draw the reader into the story. I'm a bit concerned about the pacing, especially in the first half of the script up to when he discovers the itinerary. It skims along like a shooting script and it feels at the expense of allowing the characters more time to establish themselves and their voices.

I love the ending. Starting a movie at a funeral is challenging. Look at the history of movies that begin in a funeral. It's a thing.

It's a good foundation for a script with an interesting premise. The first act is a combination of feeling very condensed AND moving somewhat slowly.

Just as an example - Stewart finds the journal on page 3, whereas this would make for a great inciting incident, and he's landing in Thailand by page 10, which is a perfect end of Act One. You would get a lot more mileage out of the story by using Act One to flesh out his character and backstory. One detail that caught me off-guard - mentioning he's going through a divorce via dialogue. I had no idea this was part of the story until Barb said it. Maybe show him dealing with his ex-wife (how would she react to his father's death?) and/or a few scenes of how he's dealing with it (beyond staring off into space and hanging around the house in his boxers),

For a screenplay, I'm quite captivated by your writing style. I can clearly envision each scene in my mind's eye. With that said, the premise is deeply moving, pairing a beautiful exploration of self-discovery with the emotional weight of grief and a father’s unfinished journey. Stewart’s struggle to break free from his routine while confronting his own mortality gives the story strong emotional resonance and plenty of potential for a heartfelt, transformative screenplay.

A really strong premise that captures a very human concern about living up to our potential and having no regrets. Stewart could have a little more flesh on his bones as the lead character, so we are drawn into the journey he is going to take and want to go with him. It is clear that he is unwell, but what else can be established about him in these opening pages? The writer skillfully paints the scenes in the screenplay, creating a vivid sense of the world. Bringing that same level of detail and specificity to the characters would allow us to see the players just as clearly and further elevate the story.

The opening scene of the funeral led me to care about these characters, especially Stewart. While I like the concept, I wasn't sure if the stakes were high enough in the beginning to hook us and lead us into an inciting incident. Clearly, as the reader, I can tell that the siblings discover their Dad went to Thailand, but the reaction of why it matters so much to Stewart to follow the map sort of gets lost in the beginning. The journey itself is interesting and the writer does a great job with visuals. I'd also be aware of how many times other characters call Stew by his name as sometimes it's repetitive and not needed. Overall, I think the story is interesting and the characters are likable. Nice start!