Screenplay Type
Genre
Logline or Premise
An intense action thriller that follows a group of highly trained black op agents on what was supposed to be a simple security transfer of a classified data chip. After one of the agents is found shot and another two kidnapped, agents Ryan and Travis are left to hunt down the mercenaries and expose who is responsible for the attack before they regroup and strike again.
Script Upload
Continent
Comments
Excellent suspense. I couldn…
Excellent suspense. I couldn't stop reading. A few technical details don't derail the shock impact of the scenes.
A good hook to get the…
A good hook to get the reader engaged. Be careful to ensure transitions are accurately labelled, eg. SUPERIMPOSE: Location and date (if needed). Use FLASHBACK instead of PAST. The connection between the 'henchmen' and the surveillance team is a bit murky. If a character has even a small speaking part, give them a NAME/ID. No actor wants MAN/WOMAN etc on their CV. It's not clear who the main protagonist is by the end of the excerpt and without more detail/dialogue, it's impossible to get a clear sense of who they are.