Screenplay Type
Genre
Logline or Premise
A dreamy struggling writer embarks on a mysterious journey of self-realization when he faces the threat of losing visitation rights to see his estranged daughter as well as his job at a bank, and he is left with no choice but to try to become a successful writer within six months.
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Comments
A very imaginative premise…
A very imaginative premise but the structure needs to be tightened up. Some of the dialogue is far too long-winded and could be cut right back to keep the pace flowing smoothly. It's difficult to execute this type of writing effectively so the template has to make everything clear for the reader. Some of the transitions and slug lines need to be looked at again.