FADE IN:
THE SOUND OF LATINO UNDERGROUND RAP MUSIC, from a great distance, growing louder as we survey over the city of Los Angeles.
We reach the source of the music, it is a crowded Auto Shop Garage with a lot of ex-cons, ex-gang members employees.
INT. AUTO SHOP - DAY
ANTONIO PARRA, former military engineer, a bright young mind, some may call him a genius, at the age of 26 he decides to refuse any government contract and opens up his own local business with his older brother.
Everybody is working hard, laud music, all muscles, sweat and a lot of tattoos. Antonio is making his daily morning routine around the shop with a clipboard in his hand. Just another day at the job. Everybody seems to respect him and consider him friendly.
EXT. AUTO SHOP - DAY
Two SUVs park in front of the shop. Six FBI agents, all suit up, exit the vehicles and slowly enter the shop. We can hear the commotion inside, undistinctive Spanish yelling
SERGEANT ROBERT MORRIS, a tough man that have seen his fair share of combat, dressed up in his military uniform, he is the last one to exit one of the vehicles. He takes a calm look at the garage through his sunglasses as two of the employees run away from their workplace. He slowly steps inside as he takes off his sunglasses and puts them away.
INT. AUTO SHOP - DAY
Sergeant Morris
Good morning Mr. Parra.
Antonio throws the clipboard on a working table.
Antonio
What the hell did we do this time?
Antonio approaches Morris.
Sergeant Morris
I am sorry about all of this, most
probably it wasn't necessary
He almost feels bad of disturbing Antonio’s business. Antonio wants to come up at sergeant’s face but an agent stops him. Antonio backs down and looks further away after another F.B.I. agents that goes into the main office.
Sergeant Morris
Mr. Parra!
he grabs his attention
Sergeant Morris
Time is of the essence.
Antonio
What do you want?
Sergeant Morris
I hate to break down your door like
this but, we need your help!
Antonio
In that case, I’ll make it fast,
No!
He comes even closer to the man and looks him straight in the eyes and talks softly.
Antonio
Take your men, your contracts,
your promises and get the fuck
out of here!
Robert keeps his calm and replies softly.
Sergeant Morris
I can understand why you are so
angry, I also respect you and your
work you have done for the U.S. in
the past. I come here with a one-time
offer. Refuse it and I’m gone. Talk
that way to me again and we’ll
have a fight!
Antonio
I don’t care what uniform you wear.
You did wrong by me, I helped you
build a defense system and you
turned into an offensive one. I don’t
hate you for it, you’re not the
first one. History repeated itself,
I will never accept to help any
government, religion or corporation.
He is relieved of hearing this but he refuses to smile even for a second.
Sergeant Morris
I believe that is the reason why you
are the perfect man for the job.
I'm not here on behalf of any country.
I’m asking you to do this. for all
mankind.
The agent that went into the back office is thrown through a big window back into the garage. The rest of the agents are on edge taking out their guns.
ZENO PARRA shows up behind the broken window. Antonio's older, stronger brother. if Antonio represents the brains of the family definitely, Zeno is the muscle. Disciplinary removed from the army turned into a street thug sets his eyes on the Sergeant.
Zeno
Wherever my little brother goes,
I go!
Sergeant Morris
Fine by me! He is a greater danger
if he gets left behind.
He puts back his sunglasses and turns around towards the door.
CUT TO:
INT. NEW YORK HOSPITAL – E.R. - DAY
TERESA AGUILAR (Doc), Latino woman in her early 30s, devastatingly beautiful, perfect complexion, worked out body and sharp as a fox. She is a paramedic in the city of New York. She bursts in the emergency room with a bleeding patient on her gurney. Pressing against his chest with her hands. She is confident, she is handling it.
Doc
Gunshot to the abdomen, he just
started bleeding again, we need
to stop it now. Prepare an O.R.!
Other doctors came in and gets the patient of her hands.
Doctor #1
It is alright, we’ll take it from
here.
Doc wants to push forward but she knows this is as far as she can go with him.
Doc
Be careful the bullet is still in
there! It might...
She gets interrupted
Doctor #2
We got it from here. Thank you!
She takes a big breath and a good look around the E.R. Standing there, with blood on her hands and most people looking away, hurting, chattering. Only one stands out. Only one can’t take her eyes off her like she is the most important person in the world. She seemed ready for anything, but not for this encounter.
Doc
Oh, hell no!
ABIGAIL GREEN (Abby), is one of the soldiers under Sergeant Morris, you can tell that just by her position, standing there with her hands behind her back, the muscular shoulders, the short hair, the look in her big, brown eyes. Everything gives her away under those jeans and black leather jacket.
Abby
Hello Teresa!
Teresa just turns her back and goes away. Abby cannot stop here so she follows.
Abby
Teresa, wait! Please…
As she walks down a corridor with restricted access
INT. NEW YORK HOSPITAL – CORRIDOR – DAY
Doc knows she is being followed so; she yells while she keeps walking forward
Doc
What do you want Abigail?
Abby
I just want to talk to you!
Doc
Just write it down on a piece of
paper whatever you want to say to
me and leave it on the nightstand.
Then she goes into a service bathroom, as Abigail wants to follow, she slams the door shut behind her.
Abby
Teresa…
INT. HOSPITAL SERVICE BATHROOM - DAY
Inside the bathroom Doc is washing away the blood off her hands and at the same time she tries to shake down the emotions from seeing Abigail again. After she almost washes her skin off, she splashes some water on her face and looks back into the mirror. She keeps looking at herself…
INT. NEW YORK HOSPITAL – CORRIDOR – DAY
After a while Abigail finds the courage to slowly enter the bathroom. She finds Teresa sitting on the toilet with the door open.
Doc
I was hoping you left.
Abigail slowly sits down with her back against a wall. She softly grabs her dog tags around her neck, feels them with the tip of her fingers
Abby
I could have said “No”. My heart
wanted me to. But every other
fiber in my body felt so attracted
to this secret project.
Doc
Three tours, three tours on the
sand supposed to be enough. We had
something over here.
Doc also touches her tags…
Abby
When the Sergeant came to me with
this opportunity, I wanted to
bring you with me. He said that
it was not the time.
Doc gets reminded of the pain Abigail caused her so she lets go tags.
Doc
Did you really think I would jump
in your arms at the very first sight
of you?
Abby
I would never expect that! I wouldn’t
even try to apologize, because what
I have done to you was unforgivable.
But I promised them the best combat
medic there is, so I had to turn
back to you.
Doc scoffs
Doc
It figures! So, what is this secret
mission? What do we have to conquer?
Who do we have to liberate?
Abigail sees that Teresa is becoming interested so she waits no time with the information.
Abby
It is more than a mission; it is
an adventure. We are going to explore,
not to fight.
Curiosity fills Teresa’s red eyes as one last tear slides on her cheek.
EXT. LONDON – NIGHT – RAINING
It rains heavily over a big, old mansion. You can barely hear the difference between the Big Ben and the powerful thunders. As we approach the west side window, we can see an old man pulling the curtain to take a small peek outside. He can barely spot some headlights in the distance. Maybe they were coming towards his place, maybe not, the truth is that he doesn’t even care anymore.
INT. LONDON MANSION – NIGHT - RAINING
NATHANIEL EVANS (PROFESSOR), an old man, over 65 years old, unshaved with white hear, dirty glasses. He seems kind but he is tired of it all…
He goes to the liquor cabinet and pours himself a glass of fine scotch. He walks slowly, the old furniture and floors creaks at his every movement. He goes up the stairs with the glass in his hand into the study.
INT. MANSION STUDY – NIGHT – RAINING
The professor sits behind his desk surrounded by an entire library. Some open books are staring right at him. He calmly takes a zip of the scotch and lays down the glass. One by one he closes the books like he is finishing the end of a chapter of his life. He takes another zip from the glass while he pushes away the books at the edge of the desk, as far away from him as possible. He opens the top drawer and takes out an old revolver and places it on the desk in front of him. One last drink and slams the glass on the desk. Grabs the gun firmly and puts it to his temple. As we look closer into his eyes, we can see that he is determined to do it. Suddenly, there is a loud knock on the front door that starters him. Then it goes again, it almost sounds desperately.
EXT. OUTSIDE MANSION – NIGHT – RAINING
LEON HAWK, a young muscular man in his early 30’s with long blonde hair and pretty face is standing in front of the door with a black raincoat on. The car is parked behind him with the headlights still on and the engine running.
Professor Evans opens the door. But somehow, he still hides behind it.
Professor
I’m sorry lad, we don’t take strays
Leon looks right in his eyes with rainwater falling down his face he smiles and replies with an Australian accent.
Leon
But there is no “we”, is there Mr.
Evans?
He takes a small look at the mansion
Leon
You live here all by yourself in
this big old
The professor is clearly irritated by the visit
Professor
Who are you? And what do you want?
Leon
My name is Leon Hawk and as much as
I love the outdoors I would really
like to get out of this rain and have
civilized conversation.
Professor
I was in the middle of something
Leon
Professor, I heard a great deal
about yourself but rude was not
written there.
The old man takes one good look at the man and decides to let him in.
Professor
Bloody hell…
He fully opens the door as Leon enters.
INT. MANSION – DINING ROOM - NIGHT – RAINING
Without his raincoat Leon is sitting all by himself at the dining room table. He has time to take a look around the place, he admires the architecture, the nobility of it all. At one point he realizes that it is getting chilly, the cold rain must have gotten into his bones. Good think that just in time, the professor enters the room with hot tea. He serves the young man and takes a coup for himself.
Professor
You are not used to the cold weather.
Leon shows his beautiful smile and replies with the same Australian accent.
Leon
What gave me away?
Nathaniel sits down on the opposite side of the table and enjoys a zip of hot tea.
Professor
So, you know my name, you know where
I live, tell me, what else do you
know about me?
Leon takes the professor’s lead and becomes more serious in the discussion.
Leon
I know you are an intelligent man.
The professor interrupts him and shows the superiority in the conversation.
Professor
You don’t wish to offend me, that
means have respect for me! Why is
that? Have you read any of my work?
Leon drinks from the tea cup and puts it back on the table.
Leon
No sir, I did not!
Professor
Then, from where did you took your
information?
Leon
From your file.
The professor scoffs
Professor
And what does that file say about me?
Mr. Hawk?
He inhales deeply
Leon
That your intelligence made you an
introvert. Your disappointment for
modern society threw you into history
Comments
The set-up/inciting incident…
The set-up/inciting incident is clear but too much descriptive detail and dialogue are getting in the way of establishing a way forward towards plot point one. Another edit is badly needed.
Reformatting is required…
Reformatting is required. Get a screenplay software. Also, at 179 pages, you are way over the limit for most producers. But you have a great idea. Keep working on it.